define responsibility..?

We are sailing on the same boat. I was able to study without my parent's help. The bad thing is they are supporting my sister. I am the youngest but they were not able to support me. It was implanted on my mind that my sister is my favorite. I even excelled in my studies to get thier attention but I failed. I gave up in capturing their attention. I ste my own goal. I worked for my studies and did well in school. I have 2 part time jobs when I was in college. It wa hard but I just think that it will be for my future. Now, I am working fulltime and able to gain trice the rate that I have in my part time job. I didn't go home for two years but they knew that I am working. Now, they are demanding me to send them money. It is okey for me, I am sending them money because ther are my parents. But I stay away from them. I am still hurt untill now. Go on girl. Believe in yourself. I know you can do that. think of your future. Do not let burden conquer because it will be a hindrance for your success. Show her that you can do it and it will be a painful slap in her face if you will succeed

It's a tough dose of reality, the only help I got from parents regarding school was a student loan that they took out and I (still to this day) pay for. I knew there was no money for me to go to a Four year school and I couldn't do it on my own so I went to a computer training school (which the loan was for) and worked my way through school. I got a great job and now my company is paying for my four year degree. It sucks when you don't have a family that can help you but it feels fantastic when you realize that you did it all on your own. I have several friends who have graduate degrees (bought and paid for by mom and dad) and I make more then them. I am also more motivated, financially responsible and confident. I believe it is a parents responsibilty to educate their child and rest assured my child will not have to pay for their education but they will have to work while they are in school, it builds character and prepares you for the real world. Besides the jobs you have while you are in college (or trade school) provide you with great stories for your whole life. I was Chuck E. Cheese (it was horrible and I quit the next day... that suit is made for a 10 ft. tall guy, it smells and the kids are not always nice to Chuckee especially when they suspect a girl is wearing the costume) worked in a Kosher Chinese restaurant and I know the birthday songs for Applebees, Olive Garden and Red Lobster!

Why it is her or any parents obligation or responsibilty to send their kid to college. You are 19 & it is your responibilty to become an adult. Being an adult means being able to be self suffient & support yourself. Once a child turns 18 the parents responsibilty ends. It is our job to make sure you can make it in the real world. The law in the USA says once you are 18 you are an adult & your parents are no long liable for you or your actions. I would be ashamed to questio my mother after all she is done for me as to why she was not paying for my schooling too. Think of how much it has cost her to put a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you. That does not count any extra things she has done for you.

Maybe she said during the time where she's desperate and have troubles that she don't want to discuss to you then. You have to understand her, she's your mother, and your siblings also. You have to have a heartly mother and daughter conversation, there's nothing impossible if you just let out what's in your heart..

A parents responibility: I'd hope that I raise my children to be respectful, resourceful, and independent. My wife and I are saving money for our children's future education, but we will have to find other funding for their college. Then estimated cost of a 4 year education when they are ready is 250,000.00 dollars each...you can see how much stress that puts on a family. So that is why we are doing all that we can to save, educate, and raise our childern to succede! Take it easy on your mother Good luck young lady,

My parents did not pay for any of my college education, so maybe my point of view is based on that. I feel like at 18, I became an adult and it was time for me to take care of myself. If you have a good job and are able to take care of yourself, then I think you should, and not feel bitter about it. So your brother got a new Playstation2, that doesn't mean your mother has the thousands of dollars to take care of your education. Every child deserves a little luxury on their birthday. I'm sorry you're hurt by all of this, but I think you should just get over it and be strong for yourself. The best things in life are definitely not free. When you've graduated, you'll feel so proud of yourself for doing it on your own.

You have a point but hten you have to realise that you realise that when you were younger she gave you stuff just like what she doing for your siblings. It will be nice to get a part time job,but then you will it affect your studies. At least give it try for your moms sake parents pray for that day.. Or work on weekends and on vacation and pay for a class or two and you can have the extra for yourself...

dear no one can answer for your situation if they told also that may not right, understand one thing ... in this world only changebility will not change .. and now your problem is your refused to take you for studies... i think your mother forgots what kind of responsibility she have got or she's unfit to b a mother... i think she dont know what a mother is and what are all her duties and responsibilities.. ok leave it first past is past , i know this is immposible for you to forget the moments... any way try and on more thing -you dont do the mistake what your mother does to you -not only to your child but also to your mother too ... blaming on your mother as she is not done her duty you dont forget your duty as a doughter if you does there is no difference between you and your mother..... love is god ... which can do miracles in our life.. all the best for your future.. take care.

I feel parents have an obligation to make sure their children attend school, but not college. I had to fund my own college education and I think it was good for me to do this. I learned responsibility this way. It took me nine and a half years to pay off my student loan, but I did it, completely on my own and am very proud of it. Why should your mother be responsible for paying for your education? There is nothing wrong with helping out your children, but I do not feel that the burden of their education should fall on the shoulders of the parents. We are raising our children to be independent, and part of that means paying for the bills you incur. Good luck.

Obligation.

jolope,you are more lucky than me.i had to looking for money when i was 15.burden? everyone on the earth have their own burden,just depend on how do you face it and solve it.the most important to your future,is your attitude to face problems.jealousy,angry to the others bring noting but shame to you.only your attitude can help yourself now and the future.

I know exactly how you feel. My parents complain about money all the time and how much they have to spend on my college education, although I am paying half. They always tell me how they barely have any money and how hard it is right now. Right after they get done telling me how they have no money and they can not buy me anything and I will have to take out a loan for my school, They go buy something expensive! Over the last year while they have been complaining about having no money they have bought a new swimming pool, a new fence, a big screen tv, and even had the money for my mom to get a tummy tuck. I don't think big screen tv's, swimming pools, or plastic surgery are cheap and I also don't think they are as important as their first child's college education. I am the one setting an example for the rest of their children. I feel they are being hippocrits. Does anyone else have input on my situation?

what you said really hurts particularly because you are intending to study and stand up in life. but about your mother's attitude what you said also seems to be on her luxury rather on your education. its always better in such situations to sit and discuss rather than argue. ok best thing is to reset all that happened and start a talk afresh with pros and cons before you.

well such thinhs you should never keep in your heart ..speak to her and show your concerns ..the answer from her will help you alot .

Responsibility is a word which means different things to different people in different contexts. There are responsibilities which are defined for us, and in some cases, which we are compelled to fulfil, in others cases we should or might fulfil them, and responsibilities which we identify for ourselves. They can fit within 3 general categories: responsibility consists of things we do if we are told-duties; things we do because of requirement-obligations; things that we do without being asked-deeds. ..BYE

I think being responsible means taking your decisions with a proper thought to the outcomes you may face and learning to face them.

i don't think there's any reason to make things better as they are not going to be. she will never understand you. same case with me. so try and earn in a day time and study at night. i do the same as i don't want to spread my hands to any one. this makes you self content and not dependent on anybody.once you are used to this you will also find time to study. its a saying " if a person wants to do something he will do it anyhow, but if he does'nt want to do he will find many broken hooks in corner" so try not to depend on anybody. try to show world they need you, you don't need them.

I think that a mother should sit down to discuss the money problem with her children so that their children know the true situation.I am a Playstation 2 fan and your mother may award your brother for studying hard.She wants you to work because she needs you to support the family.She may fork out her money if you can't pay all the study fees.All you need to do is save enough money and discuss further with love

jolope, I think you answred this already your self in the question. Why's are only answerd with thanks you's, and I am glad you had me do it my self. No one likes going through something when it is them. All people love the easy paved road. But I know you will truely respect the idea and the reponse to your mother. Because I hear it in your writing and your answer. Love is not the question. It is Why did he get a $150 video game device. Which inreality may get you half a book in college. I am sure if your college only cost the amount of an old PS2 gaming device she would pay for it twice. Your Mother sounds as if she has worked hard all your life. And now she is asking you for a little bit inreturn and you your answer is why him and not me. 19 you say.. Well time and aging will defently change your out look inless it already has changed. Thanks for posting. You will be fine... No worry's

I would definatly encourage you to talk, but making that decision (puting things out in the open so to speak) is something you will need to decide is the best action or not. Some things really are best left alone. Your hurt is very understandable, i am sure if i were in the same cirsumstance i would feel the same. Have you considered a part-time job over college holidays? to help supposrt yourself? Personally i would not expect my parents to support me through university. But again, my situation, culture and enviroment could be very different to yours. For me jobs are a fantastic stepping stone in life, i got my first job when i was in highschool (this was a casual afterschool and weekends job) and it allowed me alot of independance but also, i think, allows you to mature. At the end of the day it will be your decision but my suggestion would be to give it a go! Jobs are a great stepping stone in life and if worst comes to worst you can always quit. Your mothers financial situation could be as you think, that she spoils your sibblings and is reluctant to give assist you but in the same situation it could be that your mother have to save and set aside this money to provide your sibblings with these groceries. Would it be fair for your family to not have enough groceries, your sibblings to not have luxuries every now and then in order so you do not have to work and can focus on your studies? You sound like a smart girl, best of luck however things go!