The Inexpirienced Chinaman...
By comedyaddict
@comedyaddict (772)
Canada
February 7, 2007 11:29pm CST
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses.
He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring" he says, "I know dis you firss time an you velly frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. Wha you want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try somethin I hear about... Numbaa 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone, he replies... "You wanna.... chicken wiff broccori???
2 people like this
14 responses
@rudhra143143 (287)
• India
8 Feb 07
nice joke yaar
One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.
Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...
The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.
The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have o hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff."Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
8 Feb 07
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.
He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb s*it, it's Tony Blair!"
1 person likes this
@comedyaddict (772)
• Canada
9 Feb 07
You could argue Lavera, that his wife loved the $10 more then her husbands happiness all those years, and he is finally getting his revenge... or maybe thats the point of the joke..;) Thanks for your feedback. +
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
8 Feb 07
3 blondes walk in to a bar and start to do a puzzle and 45 minutes later they have finished it so one of them stands on a table and says we're tired of being called stupid so we did this puzzle in 45minutes and it says 2-3 years on the box.
Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, but a mixup in the afterlife paperwork sends them to the wrong places, the Pope goes to hell and Bill goes to heaven.
After a couple of days they fix this problem and the Pope gets on the escalator to go to heaven and Bill gets on the other to go to hell.
The two pass each other on the way and Bill asks, "How bad was it down there?"
The Pope says, "Not that bad, kind of hot and noisy, but I am glad to be going up to heaven now. There's one thing up there I have been looking forward to."
Bill asks, "What is that?"
The Pope replies, "I want to meet the Virgin Mary."
Bill, shakes his head sheepishly and whispers to the Pope, "Too late."
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
9 Feb 07
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynaecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me."
"This one's kind of strange..."
"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet; and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies."
"I see."
"That afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl."
"Uh-huh"
"That night," she went on, "there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!," she implored, "I'm scared out of my wits!"
The gynaecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about, You're simply going through the change."
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
hahah,good laugh.She's must have heard that position and wanna try it too.hehehe
@lloydanthony111 (4698)
• United States
9 Feb 07
That was just too funny. I was literally laughing out loud here in my seat.
Good one.
Lloyd
@sehgalskapil (1332)
• India
8 Feb 07
ha ha ha ho ho ho greeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttt......lovely.
When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen."
He explained. "When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it's Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, it's Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the instructor over the tops of the newspapers, it's juniors. When they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, it's seniors."
"When you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, it's graduate students."
@missmuffet (238)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I am nite good at rememberting jokes. That was cute I must say.
