Should we teach little boys to cook, clean and other things like that?
By vokey9472
@vokey9472 (1486)
United States
February 11, 2007 10:37am CST
I have a little boy and he loves to help me. As a stay at home mommy, I cook a lot of foods from scratch, like bake my own bread and stuff. Well, he always wants to help me and I have been teaching him how to do all the things that I do like cook from scratch, sew, clean house the old fashioned way (like my granny), even cross stitch. Some people say I am turning him into a sissy. I think it is good for him to learn these things at an early age so maybe they will stick well into adulthood. You know, make them a habit. I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching a little boy how to make up a bed or wash his clothes properly or even how to sew stuff. He makes "boyish" stuff. He loves to make pillows and blankets for his dinosaurs and he loves to bake truck shaped rolls. I personally think if my husband's mother had taught this kind of stuff to her boys, they would have been better prepared for the world. When we got married, my husband thought doing the laundry meant throwing it all into the washer on hot with some soap. He never sorted his clothes. I had to teach him how to wash properly. He didn't know how to iron so he was spending gobs of money on dry cleaning for his work shirts. He couldn't cook anything that didn't come out of can with instructions. And fixing a loose button, my husband would toss the shirt and buy a new one. I don't want my son to grow up and not be able to take care of himself properly. Any thoughts on the matter?
29 people like this
124 responses
@Makena1968 (682)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I definitely think little boys should be taught to cook and clean. I did my boy, and he's in his early 30's now, and when he visits me he'll wash the dishes and help me cook, and insist on doing his own laundry, and he keeps his place fairly picked up and clean (even his bathroom). Of course, being the eternal "mommy" I always offer to sew stuff up for him, or cook him something. He always apreciates that. I think little girls should learn to do "guy" things too..my youngest daughter is a professional welder, and now she's learning how to be a chef,and can make sweets that use a "blow" torch (flaming desserts). They should learn about cars, changing tires, building stuff, camping...I think what you're doing is great. You sound like a very ambitious and (what's the opposite of "lazy")? Lots of energy. I used to do all those things, and I always involved my children in them. Keep up the good work?
3 people like this
@Makena1968 (682)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I meant to say, "Keep up the good work!"
3 people like this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I agree about girls learning "guy" things. When I was 16 and wanted a car, my father refused until I could prove that I could change a tire, change my oil, replace the light bulbs in my headlights and tailights, check my fluids and basic car stuff. Once he was assured that if I had minor car trouble I would be ok, he allowed me to have a car. The funnies thing was when my alternator went bad. I bought the part and while I changed it out, my boy friend held the light for me and handed me tools. My father just shook his head and told me that I couldn't marry that boy. LOL
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I agree that girls should learn guy stuff too...I'm goin to be 37 yrs old and I have NO CLUE how to change a tire or pump gas (mind you I dont drive and never have) BUT when it comes to hard labour and other "guy" type stuff I keep up with my former construction biz owner/worker husband head to head no problem and its benefited me in many ways....My daughter LOVED wrenching on the race car with her father and loves helping her stepfather work in the garage etc...both kids know how to use power tools too (not that I'm too keen on that one though LOL but thats just me being overly protective and paranoid
3 people like this
@dreamingmyth (594)
• United States
11 Feb 07
i think what you are teaching your son is a wonderful wonderful thing! i wish more parents would teach these things to their boys!
3 people like this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Thank you. If it hadn't been for how helpless my poor DH had been I might not have felt so strongly about it. But I have noticed that most of my hubby male friends are the same way he was. They don't know anything. I mean, they can wash clothes, but they have no idea how to do it properly adn they end up wearing dingy clothes or tossing things that are in pretty good shape because they get ruined in the wash. I just hate the thought of my poor little boy growing up so helpless.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
11 Feb 07
The ppl who think we are turning our boys into sissys have issues regarding their own incompitence, masculinity and are jealous that a child can do these things better than they can ;-) thats my attitude on it...My 13 yr old son has been sewing and doing rug hooking since he was about 6, and he started learning to cook by the age of 8 and do the laundry by 10 y/o....As his mother i have no fear that when he is off and on his own he'll be able to care for himself quite well..if that makes him a sissy, so be it...but I am proud of him and he's quite proud of himself actually and has as of late been buggin me to teach him hwo to crochet....All the power to you vokey9472! All the power to you and your son and give yourselves both a pat on the back :-D
2 people like this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think you are right about grown men being jealous of little kids. I just want to raise a man who will be a helpmate to his wife and not just another child for her to take care of.
1 person likes this
@rdolphingirl (361)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think you have covered it pretty well!
I have three boys myself, and totally agree with you on this issue! I am teaching them to clean, cook, and do for themselves as well. Even if they do marry someday, they may well live alone first? And they will need to have at least some basic skills in taking care of themselves and their homes! I just love that my 5 yr old will get out his broom and dustpan on his own and clean up. Once they are old enough I will be teaching them to cook and do laundry and such too. Sounds to me like you are doing great!
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Thank you. My son LOVES his cleaning tools and supplies. He has his own mop and bucket, his own broom and dustpan, his own duster, he basically has everything I have. He is a little wierd about cleaning the doorknobs, but I blame my mother for that. He has to clean the doorknobs several times a day with a clorox wipe (i use an empty bottle filled with dollar store baby wipes to keep him away from the chemicals). He says that they are the worst breeders of germies that can make you sick. So he is constantly cleaning our doorknobs. Ok, so he might have one little compulsive things when he grows up, at least he will have VERY VERY clean doorknobs. :)
1 person likes this
@rdolphingirl (361)
• United States
11 Feb 07
No compulsiveness here ... just a single mom with three boys who BETTER learn to clean up after themselves, heavens knows theres no way I am doing it all! So far I am blessed to have boys who LIKE to clean up with me (most the time anyway). Sure hope they continue to as they get bigger... LOL
My 5 & 8 yr olds want to learn to sew (I just got a machine set up) I think its great! And as commented already, they will be better prepared to help their wives (should they choose to marry) or to live on their own!
2 people like this
@MakeItCount (350)
• India
11 Feb 07
I think that everyone should know basic stuff and be able to take care of themselves, boys included. You're doing a great job and will save some girl who won't have to pick up after her husband a lot of trouble down the line.
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Thank you. I am going to show this discussion to my hubby and tell him I was right! I am not making my son into a sissy, I am making him into the kind of man any woman would want to marry in the future.
1 person likes this
@KimMaple (1195)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think it is an excellent idea. My son is 8 and if I ask him to do something, he gives me a funny look and asks why he has to do it. I ask him, why do I have to do some of the things that I have to do lol. He isn't into helping, but my daughter is 6 and LOVED to help set the table and do dishes.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
My son is funny. If I ask his daddy to take the trash out and he doesn't do it right then, my son will tell him "Daddy, Mama told you to take the trash out and you didn't do it. You are in BIG trouble now" Then he will come tell me that daddy didn't take the trash out and to punish him for not helping to keep the house clean. It's a hoot.
But sometimes my son looks at me as if I am speaking a foreign language. The other day I asked him to help gather up the dirty doggie towels and he gave me the wierdest look and told me that the towels were too stinky and I needed to do it.
@Poison_Girl (4150)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I see nothing wrong with a little boy learning how to do such things as cook, clean, sew, laundry, etc. It prepares them for when they're living on their own and helps them become more self-sufficient. I don't even know how to do that stuff and I'm a GIRL! Things I kinda wish my mother had taught me to do... Oh well...
2 people like this
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
12 Feb 07
I agree with you wholeheartedly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with preparing them for the real world. I see no reason men should not know how to cook and take care of themselves. I too have taught my son how to do most of these things and hopefully they will carry on into his adult life. I don't want him to grow up and expect his wife to do everything. I want him to be able to help out around the house and not feel as though he is doing his girlfriend/wife a favour by doing it. I am of the opinion if you live in the house, then you help to create the mess therefore you should also help to clean it up whatever it may be.
2 people like this
@imsilver (1665)
• Canada
11 Feb 07
Of course you should.. lol.. especially in this day and age.. chances are that he isn't going to straight from your house to a wife. I think all children should be taught "survival skills" no matter what the gender. My son is 9 and loves to cook. He does kraft dinner on his own (except the draining part - I do that) and the other day he did most of the cooking to make spaghetti sauce.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
11 Feb 07
yep. it's gonna be their survival kit especially when they are independent. they'll even thank you for training them even when they were small yet.
1 person likes this
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think it is wonderfullwhat a treasure he willbe to his future wife also who know he may live alone and what you are teaching him will sure help make his life a lot easier !also a man who knows what women do will appreciate them for doing is you my friend are what a mother should be !Unfortunatly many American men are raised to believe they are little Gods !pity the poor woman who ends up married to one of them!
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Oh, it's not just American men. My father's family is from Mexico and I see it all the time in my Mexican relatives. The first born son is pampered to distraction. They don't have to do anything. I have a cousin who I pity the woman who marries him. He has never had to do one single thing his entire life. His mother and sisters pamper him as if he were a god. He won't even get his own glass of water or answer the phone even if the phone is sitting right next to him. When I asked him about it, he told me that it was his mother's job to take care of him. He is 16!!
@my_lady (106)
• Philippines
12 Feb 07
It is an advantage to teach little boy to do cleaning and other household work. I have a little brother, every time he woke up in the morning I taught him to fix his bed, for I beleive simple thing they can do will put in their mind until they grow. Another things, I taught him how to wash dishes and washing his clothes so that he will learned because time will come that they have to live on their own.
@superzak (20)
• India
11 Feb 07
Well it's ok to teach ur little boy to take care of himself.yeah maybe keepin things proper and cooking a little is fine .But it is very important to let him do the things he likes and play the sports he likes.Cause at this tender age impressions and teachings leave a mark that lasts for a lifetime.So it's upto you to do it right..
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I agree that he should still be able to do the things that he likes. He actually combines his love of other stuff with his sewing and baking. We bake truck shaped rolls and cookies. We sew pillows and blankets for his dinosaurs. He is even using day old rolls to practice his batting. He claims that he is trying to get them into the trees for the birds, but I think he is trying to tell me something about my day old breads. :)
@AnnaB87 (761)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think that it is always good to teahc your children as much as you can.
I have mostly boys and they were taught to do all the above things you mentioned.
And all of those things translate into JOB skills. My kids have heard me say that a lot. But it is true. One of my sons has used the basic cleaning skills he has learned in order to do things he wants to do, for instance I can not afford martial arts classes for 5 kids, But he wants martial arts classes, so how does he take these classes?
Well he cleans for these lessons that is how, he cleans his instructors studio.
He wanted to go to Florida this past summer how did he manage that, well he did volunteer cleaning at the ymca, and in return he recieved a round trip to Florida with accomindations to Florida he was in a tournament down there.
Anyway, I think that it is good for your son to learn these skills. (Because one day he may need to know how to do something to make money and these are all job skills)
I also think if you have a daughter that she should be taught how to maintain her car or truck because that can help her save money or maybe keep her from getting stranded, or could even lead to a job for her, not really one that I would care to do but some times a job is a job is a job. And you have to be able to make a living.
And cooking falls under catering,chefs.
Any skill well learned can be a job,
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Think what you son does is great. How clever of him to figure out that by bartering his cleaning skills he could get the karate lessons that he wanted. Good for him and good for you for teaching him those skills.
@simran1430 (1790)
• India
11 Feb 07
yes because then they start thinking and taking things for granted like that they are meant not to do these things and that these are meant for girls only and thats the reason they become messy and one can see if the guy is living alone his room is always a mess and he cant clean up it himself . they are disinterested in this and disorganised . so maybe this will help them only in some way ,
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think that men that are messy when living alone, were probably messy when living at home with mom and dad. I know that my hubby was. His mother would clean his room, change the sheets, do his laundry, everything. She was raised to believe that this is what women did for their husbands and sons. The only problem was that her son never learned how to do these things for himself.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
11 Feb 07
I think you should keep up with what you are teaching your son. My father in law was brought up on a farm and was taught all the domestic chores as well as how to darn and do knitting and cross stitch. When he joined the nave, these things were really useful to him. You won't make your boy a sissy but he will turn out to be a lovely thoughtful man.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Good for your dad. I think it's important that men know how to fix a loose button or darn a sock. Think of the money that men waste tossing things out that could be fix with a needle, a piece of thread and 5 minutes.
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
11 Feb 07
When my son was little he did the same things with me. And he did "man" things with his dad. His dad would get so angry when he saw him doing crochet or needlepoint. I would just laugh and tell him to get over it. Now my son is almost 14 and has no interest in crafting any more although he still loves to cook. I think they will be what they are destine to be. Enjoy this time with your son, you are teaching him valuable life skills. And the sad fact is the day will come when he wont want to hang out with mom doing crafts and baking, he will want to be outside playing football or some other sport.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
This most likely true, but right now, my darling little boy is trying to figure out how to combine baking bread with baseball. He has started taking day old rolls outside and hitting them with his bat. He told me that he was trying to get them into the trees for the birds.
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Teaching him those things would benefit him more in the future. As long as you are not imposing him to do these things, I think it's good for males to know some household chores. This will teach them to become more independent and helpful to their future wives.
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I don't think of it as imposing on him to make him do certain household chores. For instance, picking up his toys and putting his dirty clothes in the hamper are things he MUST do. I also make sure that he cleans up after himself in the bathroom, like putting his bath toys away and hanging up his towel. I feel like he needs to learn that we all do our part in a household. His allowance is NOT based on his chores. (another topic for discussion later).
1 person likes this
@firechick72 (167)
• United States
11 Feb 07
as a sister and a mother I say yes. growing up the only thing my brother had to do is the trash and kitty litter. and now he is a single dad of 3 and has had to learn how to cook and organize and all that fun stuff. he is making sure his son learns with him just in case. as a mother I say yes because in todays world there are men who stay home and be mister mom while the wife works so I believe that it is important to teach them all the household chores so they will no just in case.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Exactly. What if my son gets married, has several kids and then something happens and he becomes a single father. He will already know what needs to be done to keep his house in order and his family intact. He will also know how to handle some of those "girlie" issues that might arise if he was a single father with a daughter who wanted to learn to sew or make somethign special for her grandmama (ME!!).
1 person likes this
@firechick72 (167)
• United States
11 Feb 07
P.S. my x is the one who did all the sewing in the house and I loved not having that to worry about to.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I love that my husband has been doing more of the cooking now that he knows how.
