So If you SNOOPED into your mate's COMPUTER who you TELL them??

I think that if you feel the need to snoop, if your insecure enough about a situation that it's not the right one to be in... Yes he had no right talking however he did to upset you in email, and you had no right checking his mail, but at the same time, there was a reason you did it... And i think that you should look a little deeper to see if this is really where your supposed to be in your life, if your supposed to end up with this man... i just think you might be hurting yourself for nothing... Peace and love. Hope you work this out hun... Ash

Well i dont think its right to snoop but since you did (i have too) and found something that is hurting you then i think you have ever right to be upset regardless of how you found it out. He should not even be arguing with you about snooping and he's probably just using that to keep from answering to what he has done to you which is a lot worse than being a little snoopy.

me and my ex shared the computer and I checked the history in one of his "msn-contacts" It wasn´t hidden and it was my computer as well, although it is still considering snooping =) I foundsome horrible stuff and I confronted him straight away.. I think that u are intitled to your privacy - but i also think that u should be able to trust your partner and I just couldn´t and I proved that i was right!

Well it is hard to say. You really shouldn't have read his emails. I did that to my daughters one day and I had read one that she had wrote to her father. It really hurt. I didn't say anything. She had moved down to live with him but when she came back I had to confront her. She didnt get mad but she explained why she wrote what she wrote. If this is a trust issue you are going to have to work it out. Without knowing what was in the emails it is hard to say. All now you can do is work on gaining back trust on both sides.

Curiousity killed the cat and jealoudy is a very ugly thing. Why would you snoop and read his e-mails? Did you think he was doing something he shouldn't?? Trust is huge in relationships and he is right- You had no right to read his personal e-mails.. Unless of course he said hey honey read this. If you don't trust him then shouldn't you end the relationship and try to find someone you do trust. Did he ever give you reason to not trust him?? Well honestly I wouldn't read personal e-mails of someone elses- unless I was trying to make a decision- like is he cheating-- and then only if I was ready to move on. He had the right to be angry.

at first i would feel like going off on him. i would do like you did and snoop myself. my hubby and i use the same computer and have all the same passwords for everything. we have nothing to hide and i think that all true relatioships should be the same way but thats my opinion.

I don't have a problem with that my husband don't know how to work a computer. so i don't have a problem. He should had his own pass word, that way you would not of known. seek and you shall find. that the case here! it's true.

Well in order to read his email dont you have to have his password? i'm sure he gave you his password so it isn't invading his privacy. You shouldn't feel bad at all. What he wrote in the email's was probably just as bad as you checking his email and him THINKING you are invading his privacy. He just knows that he did wrong so he is trying to put everything on you because he doesn't want to take the balme for anything.

Wow, deja vu, went through the EXACT same situation.i always leave all my passwords,etc for my gf to have because I never ever have anything that she couldnt see/read yadda on my half of the puter, she is my world and has all access to my world.I expect the same in return because we're a team.But yeah, she has had some admirers that she hasn't bothered to tell off.So I did and I'd do it again or a hundred times.

I have never checked my wife's email or computer out with out her asking me, then I dont read anything unless she askes me to.

I always had a personal rule that I would not write down something that I would not want other people to see. That was paper and pencil days. I am even more convinced that that is a good rule on the computer. I do not know what your boyfriend wrote, but I gather that it has rocked your relationship, if not totally ended it. I guess, if I were you, I would go with my gut instinct.Confront as needed, and either try to mend or end the relationship.

Dont go snooping if you are not prepared to get your feelings hurt. If you don't trust a person, then leave them, no need to invade their privacy.

I am guilty of this same thing, when you have been hurt before its hard to not snoop around besides thats how you find stuff someone is hiding, wrong or not you cant help it, and me too i confronted him on it, we talked or should i say argued, but in the end if its meant to be you will work it out!

I didn't handle it very well when it happened to me. I went to use the computer one evening when my husband went out to play poker with some friends, and he forgot to log off from his personal email account. I looked at the screen and saw an email from one of his work colleagues, and in the title it said something that made me angry, scared, shocked and hurt at the same time. I opened the email up and read what they were talking about, and i was shocked. I left the computer the way it was, and confronted him when he got home. He said it was just playful banter emails and of course I thought otherwise. I know I did wrong in looking at the email, but if i hadn't, I wonder what would have happened between them if i had not read his email?

You shouldn't do it. And confronting was not smart. Two mistakes. If you don't trust him....different story. Did he have someone else or was talking about you? This is not clear on your post.

I wouldn't snoop in the first place. If you were snooping, then you were obviously looking for something. I have no reason to look.

Reading and snooping is violating someones personal space. As Dr Phil would say, "if you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences".

ok. so i've been there before. i don't think anyone should snoop. i think it always turns out for the worst. if you don't trust the guy enough to let him have his privacy, then you need to talk to him about it. of course he's going to get upset about you "invading his privacy". if you don't know all the facts about this circumstance and whatever he wrote don't make assumptions so quickly.

I have to sortof second what others have said here; if you're snooping around on his computer, there must be some "trust issues" in the relationship. And I can see his point, not because he was hiding something, but because there was a violation of personal boundaries. And if there are trust and boundary issues, it seems to me that it isn't about a few emails, but about whether or not it is right/worthwhile to be in a relationship that doesn't have openness and trust. My dad once said to me to consider carefully what I seek answers to, so as to be sure that I was prepared for what I found. That's just my OPINION, of course.

I feel like snooping sometimes too, however, it is a choice an individual must make, most women have an instinct about certain things and must do it now! That is how you find out about your mate on his honesty sometimes. In a world of too much cheating, lies, deceit man, to me it is done and what you decide to make up it is what it becomes. Some men are so sneaky, I have a hard time trusting my mate so I believe I am not ready for marriage right now since I can't trust. I wish more women wouldn't live a lie in this day and age to people in this world. At least you can say you are doing what you had to do, putting things the way they are. My brother in law continues to cheat on my sister, everyone knows about it and it really has affected me emotionally (because my sister is going to die oneday from Rhuemotoid Arthiritis). Her husband is hiding a three year old daugther in the next town. It is better to find out how honest your mate is than end up marrying them and finding out later.