Being Adopted

For all I know, I could be adopted. I found out that my brother was adopted, quite by accident. Like your friend, my sister was going through my parents private papers and found the adoption papers for my brother. I was shocked when I found out, and then I just decided that he was my brother no matter what. I would do the same if I discovered that I was adopted. I would continue to treat my adoptive parents as my real parents but I reckon that I would like to know who my real parents were.

Everyone's thoughts are probably different. For me personally, I would aproach my adoptive parents with what I know, explain to them that no matter what happens, they will always be the parents I grew up with, the parents who raised me. It is possible they will be supportive and offer help and support in finding your friends natural parents. At the end of the day, if it was me, I would want to know where I came from as i'm sure your friend does too but its best to go about it as openly as possible.

I lived that experience myself, since an uncle of mine was adopted too. We all knew, but no one said anything to him. Just few months before he got married his adopted father decided to tell him the truth. The truth is he never tried to reach out for his real mother, but he searched and found his brother and sister and now they are reunited. He doesn't want to know the truth about his mother since he is afraid that she simply "didn't want him". So, he never asked his brother and his sister about it. If that was me, I would try to find my mother and ask her why she gave me up. This would do my self better I believe.

I would be toally relived to find out I was adopted. The family I grew up in was bugnuts and cruel. Now that my parents are getting up there and moratliety is staring them down they are trying to re-establish some serious contact, which I coudl really do without. If I found out I was adopted I wouldn't look for my birth parents for meeting purposes, but I would want to have some genetic information because, healthwise, that is always good information to have.

I would not go looking for my own parents.They no longer care for me.Or else they would not have left me.MY my new parents adopted me and gave me a new life, if not god knows what would have happened of me.I would have been a no good a thug a danger to the society.I would be grateful to my arents for giving me a chance to live in this world with education and dignity.

If I found out that I am adopted, well I would act the same way as I had been when I did not know I was adopted. If my adopted parents are doing everything for me to have a better future then I would not want to waste that opportunity after all my biological parent culd have given me away for the reason that I may have better opportunities in life. Yes I will also look for my biological parents. An inspiring story of an adopted child that did well is this : http://money.inquirer.net/topstories/view_topstories.php?yyyy=2003&mon=12&dd=07&file=1

If i found that i was adopted,i wouldn't tell my adoptive parents that i had knew the secret.And i would treat them better,because it was greater to feed me up than just give me life.I would never look for my bio-parents regardless of any reason for their abadoning.Maybe doing so would be regarded as cold,but i believe that there is no reason for parents to give up their children.

I was adopted by my stepfather at the age of 12. Not exactly the same thing, I know, but there were still issues that I had to face. I felt like my biological father didn't love me and "gave me away". While I had a father that DID want me, there were still feelings of abandonment that I had to deal with. It isn't easy to do. Also, what kind of parents does she have? Are they supportive and loving? Maybe your friend decided that since she couldn't stay with her biological parents that since a loving couple stepped up that that was all she needed to know. Letter of agreeement? Sounds like maybe the birth parents didn't want her to know and didn't want to be found? I don't think that I would be upset that they kept it from me. Being a parent is more than donating sperm or delivering a baby. Being there when your child is sick or misbehaving, helping with homework, being there good times and bad. THAT is what being a mom or dad is about, not who is blood related. Another thing, why was she going thru her mother's files? Was she snooping or did her mother know she was going thru her things? Maybe explaining what she was doing in her mother's paperwork might not be pleasant? While a part of me might want to know who my birth parents were and why they gave me up, another part of me knows that I might not like the answer and it may cause more pain all of the way around. The birth parents might not want to be found. Their families since they had her might not know about her. It might cause more pain, especially if they don't want to be found. Plus, it might hurt her parents if they think that she doesn't love them anymore. Lots of "what ifs" that might be best left unexplored.

For me, I don't think I would hold that secret of knowing about the adoption in, that would eat at me more than not knowing my natural parents. As for being angry at the adoptive parents, I would have to ask myself, Do they love me like their own flesh and blood? Do they respect me and did they raise me without violence and abuse? If they were good parents to me, I would be thankful to them for that, because if not for them, I might've ended up with a family who did not treat me properly. As for finding my natural parents, I don't think I would want to. I would have two people who love me like a child, and unless my natural parents came looking for me, I wouldn't pursue them. I have two people in my life that are adopted, my uncle, and my step mother. My uncle chose not to meet his natural parents, but my step mother met her mother just last year. She didn't expect much, they spent a day together and her mother hasn't been in contact since. I think that would hurt more than not knowing.

I think I would want to know why my adoptive parents hadn't told me I was adopted. Although I'm sure it wouldn't make me love them any less. I would definitely want to know who my real parents were though, and not just to meet them, but I'd want to know about medical records and such in case there was some type of disease that I could possibly inherit or my future children could be born with.

This is a hard question to answer. I know I could say I would do this or that. But Do something differant altogether. I can tell you this my son was raised to believe my husband was his dad. We was going to tell him when he got older. But he started asking questions really early. So we tod him the truth. I told him I would give him all the info I could when he needed it or wanted it. I also told him his real dad knew how he could of been in touch but for some reason he didn't. My son look at my husband and said I have the dad I want and I won't be needing that information. I think I would tell my mom that I did know about it. Like my husband says and is not the one who plants the seed it is the one who waters it. Also looking for someone also might be extra baggage if it turns outfinding her wasn't what you thought.

I don't know if I'd to find my real parents. I'd think about it for a long time. I wouldn't be mad at my parents, biological or adoptive. Because in the end I suppose its not that important. It's who I am now that matters..I might try to dig up some information on them, see what they were like..maybe learn why they gave me up..THEN discern whether or not it'd be wise to seek them out.

Before, whenever i hear about children being adopted, i thought they were all too unlucky. Just imagine not being with your real parents and not even knowing them. But when i came to think about it again, I realized that having a stranger welcoming you and accepting you as part of their lives.. it's already a lot of blessing. I really wonder why some people tend to be angry whenever they find out that they've just been adopted. Come on.. there's a lot that they've should thank for. Regarding their true parents.. I think there's nothing wrong with finding out who they really are. It would be nice to know the reason why they left you. Im pretty sure it would lessen the burden and query on your heart. Still be thankful even if you're adopted.

It would hurt down to the deepest! I cant even imagine not being a part of this family by blood. They are my life! But if it were to happen, I would not look for my birth parents... they have no part in my heart. I would probably discuss it with my adoptive parents though. I don't need to have anymore secrets kept...(i would probably burst). One thing would probably change though, eventhough i wouldnt want it too. I would definitely still love them the same as always... but in everything i would probably wonder, what would my birth parents say or do? but.... as the saying goes "anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be called a dad."

Having the kind of parents i had, i would probably look for my parents and throw anger at them for giving me away... but then i would still be appreciative of my adoptive parents for having me. I would never be the person i am now if it were npt for them... Hypothetically speaking...

I am adopted, however i don't ever remember NOT knowing. I always knew I was adopted, my adoptive mother told me, but my adoptive father wished she didn't. Personally I am glad I grew up knowing as I was never really stable-minded emotionally and to have found out I was adopted at a later age would have really messed me up even more so.

Do you really think so? I am really worried, because we have adopted a daughter who is now 10 years old. We have never hidden the fact that she is adopted. So far, she seems to be okay with it, but I am scared what will happen as she grows older. Will she really try to find who her biological parents were? How do I deal with it?

same as hers. I will not tell them that what I knew for that might broke their heart and I will search for my biological parents to pacify my mind of thinking why am I being given up.

I think I personally would be upset as to why it was hidden from me. I think for me, it would break some trust in the relationship we have. I think I would approach and ask why I was never told. As for looking up and trying to find my real parents, I might just for the sake of knowing any health history. I think it should be mandatory, that in any adoption, medical history should be taken. That way you wouldn't have to look up your birth parents unless you wanted to. I think though, that it would really bother me the fact that it was hidden from me, just writing this, I keep thinking about it, and keep going back to the fact, what else haven't or have been told. Good question.

First of all, the parents who raised her are her REAL parents. Almost anyone can give birth. Popping out a child does not make you a parent. Loving a child, feeding a child, staying awake all night with a sick child, teaching a child, worrying about the well being of a child, these are some of the things that make a parent. I am an adoptive mother and when my children (who are full siblings) are ready to have the information about their birth parents, I will gladly give it to them. At our house we celebrate the anniversary of our son's adoption and next year when we get to the first anniversary of our daughter's, we will celebrate that too. We are blessed to have these children and we are always told that they are blessed to have us. I would never think about keeping an adoption from the child. We all have a right to what belongs to us. Adopted children have the right to know they are adopted. Your friend sounds wonderful. Please tell her she is blessed. You also sound like a good friend!!