When did it hit you that you've grown up?
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
February 12, 2007 10:30pm CST
For me it's been an ongoing process. I have 3 kids and I still felt like a teenager, only acted like it on occassion, but still felt like one. I went to a jewelry party tonite at my mother in laws, not because I wanted to, but because she seemed like she'd be disappointed if I didn't go. I didn't get dressed up, I wore jeans and a sweatshirt, a baggy one because I didn't feel like puttin on a bra. I worked all day, shoveled the driveway, did dishes, helped with homework, made dinner, I am tired. So I'm among all these "private school" moms ( my kid goes too but we're done after this year) and one looks at me and says, "aren't you buying anything?" I told her no, I don't wear alot of jewelry and there was really nothing there I was interested in. She looked at me like "yeah right, you probably can't afford it." I could've bought everything they were selling without batting an eye, but I kept my mouth shut. Then I get a "what possessed you to pierce your nose?" I told her it was because when I turned 31 I was feeling dated and wanted to do something different. (I'll be 33 soon.) She asked me if I didn't think I was too old for that, and my answer was " I'm not gonna apologize for who I am." I was proud of myself because I almost said "you should see what else I got pierced!" (even though it's just my ears) LOL Anyway, oont he drive home I was rather proud of myself because it finally hit me that I am comfortable in my own skin, I don't have to explain myself, and darn it I am a grown up! So when did it hit you that you're an adult?
14 people like this
48 responses
@SxyFlGrl315 (306)
• United States
14 Feb 07
AWESOME story! It's great that you are so comfortable in your own skin. You totally handled that situation exactly right :)
I'd say I realized I was growing up the day I lost my mother. I was 17 and grew up instantly. I took on responsibilities that no one else my age had, a mortgage, electric bill, household responsibilities etc. I became my fathers caregiver as his mental state doesnt allow him to work. I paid ALL bills by the time I was 18. I'm 22 now and still have all the same responsibilites.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Thanks for sharing your story. While I was reading it it dawned on me that we all have that "grown up" moment differently. I moved out of my parents when I was 17, on my own accord, and it didn't even occur to me I was remotely adult until I was a least in my mid 20's. Where as some people, like yourself, it is thrust upon and you have no choice. For some it's gradual, for others you wake up one day and it's sink or swim. I'm sorry for your loss, and commend you for taking care of your dad, your family is very fortunatate to have you.
@nishanity (1650)
• India
13 Feb 07
oh thats good that u didnt retort anything to that guy!!!
welll i am still 21 and i dont feel quite grown up yet!!!
hopefully some day i will and i hope i will be quite responsible!
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Thank you for noticing! LOL I try not to pay attention to the negative, unimportant things that go on in life and choose to focus on the positive. If it makes that guy feel better to be like that..whatever. I set myself to a higher standard and hope I am teaching my children the same. ;)
@jamie11982 (1658)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I learned that i was a grown up the day that i had my first son. I couldn't believe that i went through all of that pain to have such a little sweet bundle of joy in my arms. I knew right away what to do with him and i will never forget the feeling of that day when it hit me that i was a mother. I cryed my eyes out.. I was only 18 years old but i was becoming a grown up faster then most of my friends anyways. I had a very hard child hood.
1 person likes this
@FaaNee (30)
• Indonesia
14 Feb 07
Grown Up ???? never!!!!! never ever!!!!, oh i wish i could do that in life. but i think being an adult doens't have anything to do with your age, but in mind and judgement. our appearance, or hobbies or anything else (you named) doesn't necessarily defined that someone is grwn up or not.
1 person likes this
@sheenac1983 (63)
• Canada
25 Feb 07
First of all, I say good for you, how dare that woman say anything like that to you, who does she think she is??
It hit me that I had grown up when i found out I was pregnant. Then when I had my son, it was like, wow, I had no idea. At almost 24, I know I have a lot more growing up to do, but have experienced enough in life thus far to be comfortable with myself.
I am a firm believer that you are only as old as you feel.
1 person likes this
@cajunmomma (624)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I am 24, married and I have a daughter and now a son on the way. I still feel like I have alot of growing up to do. I somewhat have felt like I am grown up, but not completely. I also have my nose pierced too and I love it.
1 person likes this
@aradia (68)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I get waves of adulthood every so often, but I usually don't think of it like that. I think that must be the perk of being 21. I am oddly mature for my age due to scenarios i suffered through as a child. I had to grow up fast. But I'm actually happy, because I have a very different perspective of the world than most in my age group. I see things differently. I don't take for granted the fact that I can still party all night long. I know it won't be like that forever, and to be in a position where I can cut loose and still act like a teenager even though I'm so mature in other ways because of the way my life has gone, is a good sign. I know when to act my age, and I know when it's okay to cut loose. I think that came with the wisdom of age. As far as actually feeling grown up...I'll let you know when it really hits me.
And by the way...congrats on standing your ground. You don't have to apologize for who you are, and I'm glad you let them know that. People expect so much of others, but when it comes to themselves they pass the buck. I feel proud that there is someone else in the world who's not willing to compromise themselves just to save face in a jewelry party.
Awesomeness.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
14 Feb 07
im proud of you not saying that to because i would have loved to be a fly on the wall if you hadda roflmao!....im 30 and have two kids i had to grow up pretty fast because i had my first at 20 but i cant say i dont still act like a kid because sometimes i do. i like being silly and doing childish things with my kids.you know the saying "your as young as you feel"? well i wanna stay in my teens lol
1 person likes this
@pagibig (297)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
When i was 14. We had some hard times when i was younger. There was this one time that i came home from school and i saw my mom just staring into space, no food on the table because there was no money to buy food. she and my dad had a falling out at that time. i was 14 and i was a spoiled brat before that. then i realized i have to do something, i can't just always rely on my parents for everything. That evening, i went to the neighbours and asked for food. The next day, i decided to get a part-time job... a typing job. i got paid 4 bucks per page, that's rough $.2 if you convert it. i stopped being a spoiled brat and started taking responsibilities. I knew i had grown up.
1 person likes this
@blushnpixie (216)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
When I turned 23 and started working, I started feeling all grown up. I spent for my own purchases and budgeted my money. It was liberating yet scary. I didnt think I could manage my finances and my schedules, but so far I've been dealing with it well. It made me realize just how hard to be all grown up and independent. But the trust my parents gave me was overwhelming and I wouldnt want it any other way.
@janiam (9)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Well, It's alittle strange- but true: I love to dance. I have always learned the latest step and was always able to demonstrate them with ease. It kept me feeling young! I took pride in showing my kid's and thier friends that I still had it:) One day I tried a new dance that involved bending down... and I stayed there! honestly, I was in so much pain (heart & body) that I had to take a pain reliever and soak! I think that I just skipped over "grown up" and fell right into "old" Before then , I always thought of my self as a big kid.Yeah right, a 40- year old "kid" grabbing her back and knees...how depressing!!
1 person likes this
@kittyloki (140)
• United States
13 Feb 07
My bf's stepfather is 80 years old and is in great shape and they are saying he is gonna live a long time because he acts young and enjoys life. People don't need to 'act their age'. If you have kids be responsible but don't let the life get taken out of life.
You seem to be a great mom! There is no reason you shouldn't be able to 'let loose' a bit. Happier people seem to live longer.
1 person likes this
@mikeymango (13)
• Canada
13 Feb 07
I'm 20 years old now and until just recently I really feel my age because I've made the step to changing my life by cutting out my bad and childish habit's that I've carried with me religiously for years. Especially the last two years of my life I really feel I've wasted because I didn't do anything productive and i never listened to the people telling me the write things. Now that I've made the step to make sure that everything I do is not only productive but beneficial to the loved ones in my life and my life. I don't just think about myself anymore.
1 person likes this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Well I have felt like I grew up a long time ago due to all the reasons I was forced to grow up fast. I think for me it was just a few days after high school graduation and I moved into my very first apartment and I had two jobs already. Then it was just one day at a time from there and I knew I had to take care of myself because no one else was going to.
1 person likes this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
13 Feb 07
About a week ago. When I called my son and he was out with my newphew and they were alone driving together. After I hung up I looked at my husband and said my two babies are alone in a car together. Not only did I feel like and adult because I was worried but I also felt old.LOL.
It's funny you mention your piercing. I got my belly button pierce around the same time. Guess that was my mid life crises.But I still feel good about myself and don't need anybody to pat my back to tell me that I am doing good.
@Bee1955 (3882)
• United States
13 Feb 07
When my only brother asked me to travel from my home in Germany to his home in the US and ask me to look at his second son, 4 months old, and my opinion as to what I think was wrong with him. I always felt young at heart, but here was my always joking, younger brother asking me a professional medical question I was qualified to give and treating me with RESPECT. Talk about feeling grown up and important!
Vincent was born with CP (cerebral palsy), but my mother refused to believe he was born with a defect and wouldnt let my brother take him to a specialist. He was living at her home and wanted to keep the peace, but knew I'd cross the Atlantic after a late night phonecall to me while Mom was asleep. The next day I took them all to a local children's hospital and had Vinnie examined and tested. Several future appointments were then made and my relieved sister-in-law and brother took all 3 children home and we (I) confronted our mother. She had a fit and threw me out of the house for 'interfereing', but I simply went to my friends home for the rest of my visit with my brother and family visiting daily after he got off work.
1 person likes this
@4ftfingers (1310)
•
13 Feb 07
inj law i'm supposed to be an adult now. but i still feel as immature as i was when i was 16. the last few years have gone so quick, and i'm probably more mature and awar than i realise in some senses. it surpises me sometimes when at work peole speak to me as an adult, and as an equal. even more so when people ask my proffessional oppinion, i thought it would take me years to get any respect like that lol, i still feel humbled by it. i find it funny too, when i meet people in clubs, pubs, socially etc, they tend to think i'me younger than i am. when i meet people at work, they tend to think i'm older than i am.
1 person likes this
@elisa812 (3026)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I know what you mean, I think it's an ongoing process too. I just turned 22, but I still feel like a kid. There are just these random times when it kind of hits me that I'm grown up now...like now that I'm engaged, I'm finding myself getting all excited over things like pots and pans and blenders! haha I used to always laugh at my mom for getting excited over getting new stuff like that cause I thought it was so boring. Now I always stop in those aisles at the store and daydream about what kinds of dishes I want to have, etc...it's pretty weird to think now that I'M going to be running the house now and becoming a mom in a few years!!
1 person likes this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I realized that when I was already 24. This was when I was accepted in a large company. I felt so much responsibility on my part and I had realized I had to be mature enough to handle things, when to talk or not talk, and when everyone was expecting much from you.
I was just glad that I was able to handle all things and then it hit me that I had to start getting serious with my life. I already started to save money and obtain an insurance. It was a difficult transition but it was for the best.
