Would you end your marriage if your spouse was unfaithful?

If you can't forgive, then.....that's a problem. But believe me it's happened to me, and even when you forgive, you never really forget....

I don't make it a habit to watch Dr. Phil but my daughter was watching it the other day as I passed through the living room. It was an episode about a man that had an affair with his wife's sister. Anyway, the couple is still together but the wife is a mess over it all. The husband said that he thought, because "it was two years ago," that she should be "getting over it by now." Dr. Phil told him that time does NOT heal all wounds, as people like to say. The husband truly believed that just the passage of time should make his wife get "better" and get past the affair. This is something I truly believe and it mirrors what you're saying... you may choose to forgive but the memories never go away. I know that I am TERRIBLE for this. If someone hurts me, I can usually keep them within my circle (whether they are family, friend, etc.) but I have a fantastically long memory... I never seem to forget. This is what makes me believe that, if my husband was unfaithful, I wouldn't be able to salvage the marriage. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at him again and NOT remember the hurt and what happened - or I'd be dragging it back up during every argument, etc. I do respect, very much, the people who say that you can't know how you would react until it happens to you. I mean, who am I to say how I'd feel if it was a one night stand, an ongoing relationship, a flirtation... I hope I'm never in a position to have to make the choice about what to do :( I've been through a nasty divorce in my lifetime but it wasn't about any sort of infidelity.

I think the fact that your spouse was remorseful says a lot. I remember your story from another thread and I think you have a very mature attitude and I'm gald that things worked out fro yoru family. My ex cheated on my more than once. I chose to forgive him the first time. Then it happened again a few years later. I wish I hadn't forgiven him the first time,as it would have saved me from years of anguish and heartbreak. There is definitely no clear cut answer to this question and I agree with you, that you almost need to have experienced it to know for certain what you would do.