Death of a child
@Leedsrbest1973 (127)
February 15, 2007 5:07am CST
My son aged 7 died from cancer in 1996 and my wife and i went on to have a daughter in 1997 who has never known her brother although she does have an older sisiter. i just wanted to know if anybody could tell me if they know or think this will affect her as she gets older....she is 9 now
2 people like this
3 responses
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
15 Feb 07
I think if you talk to her about what happened and answer all her questions about it, it shouldn't have a negative affect on her at all.
As long as she doesn't feel that you loved her brother more than her (which obviously isn't the case) she will be fine.
2 people like this
@Leedsrbest1973 (127)
•
13 Apr 07
Yes, we have been trying to do just that. Thank you for your response and your advice.
@Darkwing (21583)
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13 Mar 07
No, I don't think this is going to affect her as much as it did her sister, other than she will naturally want to talk about him and see his pictures. I know you're doing a good job with her and making her aware of the fact that she did have a brother, and being close enough to you all, I can see she's accepting it, perhaps because she didn't know him.
She sometimes brings out his pictures and shares them with me, when I'm there, and she has no difficulty in asking questions or telling me about who he was, so I think she's going to be fine.
Her sister also seems to be coping better now she's grown. I feel that she, being younger than your son, relied on his lead, quite heavily, but now she's grown and the healing time has increased, I think she's getting her head around it much better.
Just answer any questions that the 9 year old might have, and talk about him comfortably with her, and I'm sure she will be fine. She's a very independent young lady. ha ha ha
Love and hugs.
@Leedsrbest1973 (127)
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13 Apr 07
She does seem to be coping well at the moment Mum, but I'm a bit worried about her in later life. Still, as you say, her sister still talks about him fondly and doesn't seem to get the sickness problems any more. She seems to have come out of it quite well.
Thank you for your response.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 07
Leedsrbest, first of all let me tell you how sorry I am to read this. How did you both get through that? I am so sorry. I do not think it will affect her when she is older, she might ask questions about him and you can answer them to her. You can get to know her Brother by telling her things about him and what he was like. This will way she will know him in a sense. Show her Photos of him and answer her Questions if you can
Hugs to you and your Wife
@Leedsrbest1973 (127)
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13 Apr 07
We got through it with good counselling from a MacMillan nurse. We couldn't have survived without her. She's become quite a good friend and frequent visitor actually.
We already show our daughter pictures and talk about her brother. She has albums of her own now and often brings them out to show Mum and talk about him.
Thank you for your response Gabs, and the hugs for Di.
