forgive and forget

The secret of forgiving and forgeting is love. It is good feeling if you are going to sleep at night that you don't have a feeling of guilt and insecurity or hurt in your heart because you have forgiven those who sins against you. If they hurt you, and really in pain, go out first, try to relax, realize good things that that people do good things for you, afterwards, go back.

We do both and neither. We can forgive and forget, or sometimes just realize that those who we are to forgive are just not that important. I don't think it is so much taht we forget but that we can learn to accept that yes this happened and then move on. Some people need definitive closure, others will never "let it go" until they can get justice or even or revenge or be allowed to be forgiving. As for those forgive and forget moments of life, I guess to me they are not real. It is a matter of what you give importance in your life. Example, my sister and I had one really harsh argument, which as far as I am concerned was never resolved. For her it is a matter of she stays mad until she needs me for some reason in her life, or enough time as passed that she can talk to me and pretend it never happened. I don't forgive, this one particular instance, I haven't forgotten it or I would not have remembered it now. I have forgotten it in that I don't make it a major issue in my life. I had to learn to understand who she was as a person, and either accept her for who she is, or not. I choose to not let it bother me, does this mean I forgave her I suppose by some that would be yes, but for me it is more that there are other issues in my life that are more important to me. On the other hand, I had a friend, whom I loved very much, we were very close, this person was getting out of control with their temper, etc, I simply told this person that I wasn't going to take their crap, but I would still love them and be their friend, just not the point that it is going to be emotionally, or mentally hurtful to me. I didn't forgive or forget, I accepted this person for who they are, and moved on. It is the hardest thing to do, accepting that we can not fit others into our molds, that their differences may be hurtful to us etc. In more extreme cases it can come down to this, do you love the person more than you hate what they are doing, or do you hate what they are doing more than you love them. It can also come down to if they were to do a turnaround and apologize begging forgiveness, would you want that person in your life? The thing that they are doing does it hurt you and if so in what way, how badly does it hurt? How does this affect your life and your own need to take care of yourself? Sometimes you find you can accept them for who they are, and move on, sometimes you can even accept the situation and keep going on with it, sometimes you fight it and become so angry you need to forgive, you need them to apologize, but the only person we ever really need to forgive is ourselves. Often when it comes to forgiving others they don't really care if you have forgiven or forgotten because you have been dismissed from their lives.

we can't ever forget the negative things people have done to us. and we shouldn't. only because those are life lessons. what did you do to move on? what did you learn about yourself from that situation? has it made you stronger? those are the things we should get out of "bad" things that happened to use. so you forgive that person to move on. to take your lessons and apply them to your life as it is now. don't live in the past because if you do you are doom to repeat it. move on and now that because of what you went through you are a better person today.

i think to forgive is easy but you can never really forget.. i think the trick is to focus on the present rather than thinking about the past which can hurt you..the only thing that one should delight in the past is the happy memories that makes you cry and laugh at the same time..^_^

It is hard to forgive and forget something that is wrong done to you but it's life. Love endures all things.If you love, not all the time you experience perfectness but still you love and you will love. A thing that you can't stop.

I'm a person than can't forgive so easy.There is a person that hurted me 4 years ago and even now I can't forgive and forget this person

yes, it is definitely not easy to forgive and forget... i completely agree with you... but i learn that it is even harder to hold a grudge against a person as it makes your life really unhappy... so, i learn to be forgiving and it really lightens my life and make my life much happier... please give it a try...

I have trouble forgetting. The forgiving part I think I am okay with, but the forgetting part is difficult -so maybe I haven't completely forgiven?

Forgiving can be easy when you mean no malice toward your fellow person. It makes a difference too whether they have hurt you intentionally. Some don't realize it. Fogetting is not necessary since you can learn from it. Also if the same person hurts you then there is a problem that could be rectified with discussion. Communication is key in this world. Takes a really big person to be albe to assist those that have hurt us. It is a real learning experience. Two wrongs do no make a right!! Good luck with this, it is worth learning!

While I generally think it is better to forgive and forget. In some cases it is better to forgive but don't forget or turn your back on the offender. Holding a grudge can be bad for your health. But so can turning your back on someone who is out to hurt you. Tell that person I forgive you but also watch your back and don't put too much trust in that person until they have proven themself. If they really are sorry you will know it sooner or later. If they arn't they will show their true colors also. Mishelle

I also don't think it is easy to forget or forgive. But we must learn to do it, because we want to be happy not hating someone.

It's easier to forgive than to forget. But how come you forgive if you can't forget about it. On my experience, if a person do something bad to me i just ignore it sometimes. So the next time we meet it's nothing to me coz i forgot what you did to me...hahaha... because i don't let my self get affected. I'm not the loser, the one who did bad is the loser coz i ignored them.

I don't believe in the saying that one should forgive and forget. I say that it is really divine to forgive but I do not agree that we should forget. I could not forget a circumstance with a person that needed my forgiveness because I believe that I should not forget the lessons that this gave me.

I can usually forgive someone but to forget what happened doesn't come easy for me. Especially if that person was a friend.

its not really easy for both to forgive and forget if the person still feel the pain deep inside. Sometimes we think and picturize it that we can forgive but for real nop i can say its very hard. Its a feeling so i think only time can tell. maybe you can forgive someone but its hard to forget. if you already let go of all the pains maybe that i can say its easy to forgive and forget.

I used to believe this was true...but now I believe...forget enough that you can carry on and live your life, but remember enough so that you learn not to make the same mistakes twice. Forgive someone for not knowing any better, for not being able to change... but I don't believe you have to forgive them for hurting you...don't wish them any ill will, but you don't have to embrace them with open arms either, because most of the time they aren't going to change and you could be setting yourself up for another fall if you do. Everyone has a right to distance theirselves from toxic people...and there are plenty running around out there.

Generally time is the cure for each and every thing. If the same person comes to U immediately, U may not be able to help. However if this happens after some time (depends on the depth of hurt) we would forgive and ready to do the favour. Humans are humane.

I believe the we can forgive, but we never forget!

Well no I don't forgive and forget easy. I can do it easier after I get even. The same thing with me, if I make mistakes, I don't expect people to forgive me with or without getting even. We can never tell how much we hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally and anyone who thinks they can go away without fixing their mistakes will find that karma does exists. Well in my case, their karma is me getting even, then they don't have to face another karma ..hehhe

First off, PLEASE learn hoe to type. You are not 2 years old. Moving on, i know it is incredibly hard to forgive those who hurt you. Unfortuantely, i have to deal with that all the time and when it comes to someone i love, i tend to forgive too much...but everyone else...nope. i don't forgive them.