I'm sorry americans!
By Sissygrl
@Sissygrl (10912)
Canada
February 16, 2007 1:24am CST
On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.
I'm sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.
I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this, because, we've seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with.
This is a skit from a candian show called 22 minutes.
10 people like this
21 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
16 Feb 07
hahaha a massive plus from the uk, thus spake the rest of the world. I know the Americans find it difficult to accept the concept of a country existing outside of the usa but it really is true. My only difficulty with your otherwise excellent post is that Americans dont do irony and probably wont be able to understand it.
blessed be
keep on laughing
3 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
17 Feb 07
hahaha yes i did genaralise, i shall consider my wrists slapped, blessed be
it was done with much love, blessed be
2 people like this
@huanghaozi (1472)
• Egypt
16 Feb 07
Capitalism
A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, "What's politics?"
Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it to you this way." I'm the
breadwinner of the family, so let's call me "Capitalism." Your Mom is the
administrator of the household, so we'll call her "The Government."
We're here to take care of YOUR needs so we'll call you "The People." The
nanny works hard all day for very little money so, we'll consider her "The
Working Class." And your baby brother . . . we'll call him "The Future."
Now, think about that and see if it makes sense. So, the little boy goes off
to bed, thinking about what his Dad has said. Later that night he hears his
baby brother crying so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has
severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door
locked, he peeks into the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the Nanny. He
gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in
your own words what you think politics is about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class,
the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future
stinks to high heaven.
3 people like this
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I'm American, and I got the biggest kick out of your post. I'll never understand why some people can't just laugh at themselves. My grandparents came to Canada from Sweden when they were young, got married in Edmonton and then moved to Miami, Florida in 1914. One day I'd love to take a tour across Canada...because what I've seen I really love. I love your sense of humor, too. Here's a picture of one of my "Canadian" bears. Hope you enjoy him.
2 people like this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I cannot hate Canadians, I am half-Canadian. My father is from Canada and my mother is American. X-Men is filmed in Canada. How can I hate the best part of me? I LOVE CANADA! You people are awesome. By the way, I hate Bush too. He is a jerk. I never even voted for him. I voted for Gore in 2000 and Kerry in 2004. I even helped out in Kerry's campaign. I love Canada because I love Wolverine and Alpha Flight, I love Canada because I love seeing white people beat each other up on ice, and I love Canada because you people have free health care. You guys are awesome.
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
yes but i think what truely makes a joke funny, is when its funny and true. when we can laugh at ourselves, and have others laugh at us, without being angry then you know you have a good sense of humor and your not going to pull out a shotgun and start shooting up a school or workplace lol. Lets all laugh :) hee hee hee :)
I'm waiting for a joke about canadians. anyone got a good one ??
1 person likes this
@rameshkumaar57 (5908)
• India
17 Feb 07
Careful sissygrl, Mr.Bush might get angry and either try to bomb Canada or worse he might just annexe Canada and say that it is the 51st state of good old USA, and UN with the new Seceretary General might say in olden times Canada was with USA.
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
It's ok, i dont mind. i'm mellow enough and confident in myself, that i can laugh at myself and my country. Go ahead please. i invite you to post a joke about canada, i bet it'll be a funny one. please. come on. i'm waiting to hear from you :)
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I have nothing against Canada and would hope Canada has nothing against us. I don't really know what all this is about. I know this is suppose to be a joke or but it isnt really funny. It is like you said a "veiled insult". I am from the U.S. but I wouldn't find it funny if I was from another country either.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
No you didn't come across as humorless, i just said maybe you have a different sense of humor then i do. And i have nothing against americans :) at least not the nice ones lol. there are people everywhere that are not nice.. i dont like them either.
1 person likes this
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
17 Feb 07
You do not have to say that you are sorry for saying those things. We as American can understand. Not everyone can live in the US. Just relax and be happy. The day will come one day when Canada and the US will be one country. We will be glad to have Canadians as US citizens.
@karsted (240)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
I love that show!! It is sooo funny. They produce it in Noa Scotia.Its kinda a political satire type show. The charaters are hilarious; I like Sammy Crowfoot. I think canadian humor is great. Maybe its cause Im Canadian.... If you like that show, you should check out Trailer Park Boys. That show is fantastic. It is only on the showcase channel, and the humor there is intended for adults.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
Oh baby i know all about the trailor park boys :) i am from halifax nova scotia, and only moved away 3 years ago. i met julian, ricky, and layhe. i used to work at pizza corner kod, and they used to come in there after the bars :0) GOOD TIMES.
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
16 Feb 07
No need to apologize. Just keep shipping that great Tim Horton's coffee across the border and I will be a happy camper. I guess there is no chance that you will annex us and divide us into provinces. Oh shucks, and I have watched that great show 22 minutes. Canadian TV is 10 times better than the crap in this country.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
Aw right!! see this proves that not all people in one country are the same! some americans are totally outraged i would post a joke about them, and some, like you, see the humor and embrace it! If you wanna make jokes about canada PLEASE do! there's no doobt aboot it, we are a bit different then US, and we will gladly share our timmies with you's, as long as you take back star bucks LOL just kidding star bucks is good too :)
1 person likes this
@jjones474 (123)
• United States
16 Feb 07
We Americans are sorry that most of the world thinks Canada is another U.S. state. You are so passive, you have two national languages. Parley voo my butt! Grow an army and go conquer something! No one wants your frozen wastelands, and trust me, when we need the oil, your butts are ours!
1 person likes this
@candygurl24 (1880)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
Repeat it with me jjones474...I am an a*shole. The first step to recovery is admitting it.
And grow an army? What so we can all act like George Hitler Bush? And if you guys don't need us, STOP KILLING OUR CANADIAN TROOPS! Stop dragging the non hitler lovers into your bull and keep us there. We don't want to conquer anything at all..we are happy people, at least until morons like yourself step in with your American's are better attitude! Suck it up! Your country is run by a facist, rascist piece of crap!
Oh, and exactly my point "...and trust me, when we need the oil, your butts are ours!"
LEARN TO HAVE YOUR OWN RESOURCES instead of killing innocent people for theirs! We create more than you ever could so suck it the hell up.
Oh, and HAVE A NICE DAY EH!
1 person likes this
@smartie1685 (450)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Thanks for sharing, that was really funny. I am American but can still appreciate the humor in it.
1 person likes this
@itsokrelax (733)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Where is Canada again? Ohhh right.... thats the really cold on up there that no one ever seems to hear or care about. Lucky you!
1 person likes this
@candygurl24 (1880)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
*snorts, gags, hoots and hollers* OMG..this just rocks! I love it beyond words chickie! I am definitely scoffing this and doing something with it on my piczo site :P
22 minutes rocks a*s!
1 person likes this
