How to make smoking benefit others!

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Believe it or not but there are ways to take a filthy habit like smoking and turn it in to something positive. I can prove it! The other day I was on my way out of my aunt’s house when she asked me to buy her a packet of cigarettes. I told her that I didn’t want to buy them because it’s a bad habit and I wasn’t interested in contributing to her premature death. She complained and begged and tried to force the money into my hands. Eventually, I reluctantly gave in and told her I would purchase them for her. On the way to the shops my mind was polluted with regretful thoughts of agreeing to purchase her cancer sticks. As I was walking into the shops an unfortunate guy, who was disabled, asked me if I could spare some change. I said that I was sorry and that I didn’t have any on me. I walked to the cigarette counter and asked for my aunts preferred brand. The store clerk then turned to me and asked (as if it was a sign from God) if I wanted the mini pack or the normal pack. I began to ponder: The mini pack was half the size of the normal pack and half the price. I knew that my aunt wanted the normal pack but I couldn’t spend her money on the normal pack knowing that there was someone less fortunate than my aunt and myself standing outside. I figured that if I bought the mini pack and gave the change to the guy outside and then explained to my aunt why she only got the mini pack, she would understand. I then realised that not only would my aunt and I feel good about helping the needy but I would feel better about contributing to only half of the amount of tar she would be getting from the normal pack. Clearly this is a win win situation. Or so I thought. When I got back to my aunts house and told her the story, she started flipping out at me. But as she continued, her argument became less and less convincing. I think that while she was shouting she started to realise how selfish she was being. I then said to her that her money was still wasted on the mini pack. I would have rather burnt the left over money because then at least she wouldn’t be putting more poison into her body. So there you have it, I helped the needy and decreased my aunts rocket fuel intake for a day. I recommend to all the people out there who are victims to a family member or a friend’s addiction to try this experiment. You’ll feel good about yourself and you’ll show that person how much they mean to you. Needless to say my aunt has never asked me to buy her cigarettes again. The downside is that I wont be giving any more of her money to the needy.