Do you experience the grandparent takeover?
By mariazain
@mariazain (11)
Malaysia
February 18, 2007 12:40am CST
I'm a new mum. Fairly new at least. My parents don't see me as a mum though but they see me as their daughter. Sometimes I feel that they view my daughter as their daughter too! They insist I spend every waking moment with them and if I don't - I'm depriving them of their pride and joy. When I am with them, they make all the decisions regarding her daily routine without consulting me or my husband. One minute she is there and next minute she's in the car with the m going somewhere. This does not onyl happen in their house but when we meet at relatives' / friends' place. They hang on to her, introduce her to everyone as their youngest one and don't let her mingle with other people... including her other set of grandparents...!
Tell me, how do I deal with this type of stress? It's madness and I feel guilty when I say no to them. I've tried over the past year or so, set my principles and to put my foot down when I don't want to comply with their whims and fancies. They just call me an ungrateful daughter.
2 responses
@boyer_megan (23)
• United States
19 Feb 07
Maybe they want another child of their own. Perhaps they are even trying to make up for losing you their baby....now that you have a baby of your own. Sit down with thtem and tell them how you feel. Tell them that that is YOUR child and you would like to do what you want with her when you want to and you feel as though they spend to much time her. Don't take away alll their time, just limit it. Maybe set them aside some special time that they can have on a set schedule every week. ]
This will help them hold on and you to be more free....
@mariazain (11)
• Malaysia
20 Feb 07
thanks boyer_megan
i'm new on mylot and was wondering how this thing works. thanks for responding. i was feeling a bit of a doofus after posting my note.
yeah you're rite about what you say. i'm pretty sure they want another baby after seeing my daughter. unfortunately they're a bit elderly now so they will have to settle for "sharing" her with me. guess i'll think a lil differently when i come to their age...:))
@stacs0319 (16)
• United States
24 Apr 07
You need to put you r foot down and prepare for some drama. My son is 13 months and I had some problems with me dad and step mom. It was too much, and it was NEARLY as bad as what you are going through. I say stand up take your child back and SAY NO!!!! When they take your child. This is YOUR child. I just know form experience that they will probably cut you off, but they will be back. Expect attitude and anger because everyone reacts that way, but eventually you will be happy and not feel so frustrated your self.
I tell you start with just going over and TAKING YOUR CHILD.
