Why dont Nother-in-laws get along with Daughter-in-laws?

i guess its coz the moms tend to be a little jealous when they see their sons being too close to another woman! after all all moms want to be the closest thing to their sons!

I must be a rare daughter-in-law that gets along with her mother-in-law. We are always constantly doing things together and she is always telling everyone that she considers me as her own daughter. The only thing I can think of is that I had a chance to know her and be friends with her before her son and I got married. Plus I am willing to make some compromises with her. I think a lot of times in most instances of daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws not getting along is a lack of communication. Mainly being plans all of sudden being brought up at the last minute. Than those plans that are made for the whole family, only being planned out on one side, while the other party involved doesn't really get a say in what is gonna be done. I personally think that if a line of communication between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law were to open up there would be less of these silent battles going on between the two parties.

No idea it is like a vicious circle isn't it. I am going to try hard not to be like my monster inlaw though hehehe.

I dont think this is true anymore. Both MIL and DIL have become svery smart & diplomatic now. They ahve learnt to coexist with each other and come to amiable solutions to problems. I guess peoples attitudes are changing towards this relationship and is becoming more of a mother-daughter relation than a MIL-DIL one.

who knows really but i swear i will never make mine feel the way my mother-in-law has made me feel. i think she feels i have takin her son from her and she does not like it. my husband was told that i am always trying to keep him from them when we are home i always have made plans so they can't do what they want with him. my hubby is army so the past couple times we were home it was my sons birthdays so the first time we went home i had planned my youngest b-day party and they wanted to go to canada and was upset i would not cancel my sons 1st b-day party then the second time it was the same but with my oldest son so they said i was trying to stop him from doing things with them. i did not see it that way at all and either did my hubby but they did and are very upset. they wanted us to cancel my kids partys and go to canada with them but i have family there i want to see to and i was not going to do what they wanted us to so they said they are mad cuz i try and stop him from doing things with them.

The DIL and MIL relationship is a very strange one but i think i can handle it very well. I really love my MIL koz she understands me very well. What i would like to say to all the DIL is that when you get married; you should expect all sort of problems in life that may crop up and the best solutions to the MIL and DIL problem is ADJUSTMENT. i agree that some MIL are not as nice as others (like mine) but with a little bit of adjustment and compromise may solve the problem. I have always tried to think this way: I have got a brother and one day he will get married and bring a new DIL at my mothers place and i know i will never like it if ever the DIL of my mum do anything that will create problems at my mothers place or create a rift between son-mother. Just the same way i love my mother; my husband also loves his mother and i think i should respect this relationship in everyway! Problems do exist in everyday life but try to solve it in a diplomatic way!!!!

I think not only communication gap or generation gap, but also traditionalism of Elders is much more a barrier in this way. Mils want that their dils should do all those which had been carried over in her home from last many years. Sometime it happens that dils may not agree wid their mils and the problem all arises.