Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

The reasons women stay in abusive relationships are very complicated. There are a wide range of emotional feelings that allow the abuse to continue and prevent the woman from leaving. Here are a few reasons that women stay in an abusive relationship: Fear - Women fear the physical harm that might come if they attempt to leave. Love - Women may truly have deep feelings for the abusive partner. Promises - Promises that this abuse will never happen again. Abuse = Love - Confusion between being loved and being controlled by their partner. Guilt - Being made to think that the abuse is their fault, that they have the problem. Not Being Believed - A strong fear that nobody will believe them if they speak out against the abuse. Thinking They Can Change Them - The belief that over time the woman can change the abusive partner. Low Self-Esteem - After being in an abusive relationship there is a feeling that they can do no better than their current relationship. Being Alone - To end the relationship could mean a loss of mutual friends, relatives and others associated with the relationship. Financial - Money, children and no place to go also hold women in these relationships.

Yes I was abused for 12 yrs by my husband. I still ask myself why did I stay in that relationship? Maybe because I did love him (to this day I still do) maybe it is because of the kids. this is a hard one to try to answer cause there is so many questions and answers that I can't even understand. But if someone is in that kind of relationship I tell them to get out now cause it's only gonna get worse. Cause it does. I'm seperated from him now and I'm so much happier.

The abuser breaks down the abusee to the point where they don't know what to do anymore. They truly believe they are loved and being cared for. They take away all of their resources so they must rely on their abusive partner for everything. That makes sure they can't run or communicate with anyone about the abuse. The abused partner feels truly dependent and feels that they won't be able to tell anyone because they wont be believed. It's simple, it's all control. They are broken down so much, they don't realize it's abuse.

I think there are many reasons a woman stays in abusive relationship,the biggest one being, this is what she believes she deserves. to go back a bit, a lot of women were raised with very low self esteem, They have been made to feel unworthy of anything, and when it come to someone loving you, you will literally accept anyone.It is not very hard to spot a person with low self esteem, and they can and are manipulated very easily. I know from personal experience my ex husband daily reinforced the thought that I was stupid, I was so ugly that no man would ever look at me I was lazy, useless worthless. and if he didn;t look after me I would die of starvation, as I was incapable of looking after myself. Now when I was a child my mother basically told me the same thing. so I grew up believing that My husband was as good as it was ever going to get.I often wonder why he did these things to me, and the only answer I can come up with was he was the most insecure person in the world. and he truly believed that if he did make me ugly (fat) I would never be able to leave him. He to this day can not believe that I will not come to my senses and come back to him and I have been away from him since 1983. So this is a small explanation as to why women put up with abusive mates. We were raised to expect this sort of treatment.

I have a friend who's currently in the situation. She's always been beaten by her boyfriend everytime they fight. Usually, they fight because of jealousy. Her boyfriend gets jealous so much like for no reason at all. Sometimes, his temper would raise if she talks to another guy friend. As friends, we always advise her that he's being too possessive already and it's time to let go of him because their relationship is no longer healthy anymore. But she is so hesitant to do that. She says she just can't resist her boyfriend's sweetness whenever he's not mad. I think in cases like that, like with that of my friend, women chose to stick with their partner who beat them because they're just being surrounded with a fake love. I mean, if you have been beaten all the time,I don't think it is still love. It's already obsession.

i think it was / is mostly fear beacause they are scared wat if they tried to leave the relation ship .some think they can change the man and that he will be different but most times it just gets worse .i know sum one who was in a abusive relation ship and had children bye the abusive man and she wanted to stay in the relation ship for the kids but honestly i thought she should have left the man for the kids because most kids do what there parents do and want to grow up and be like that .

It's fear. At least it was for me. I was in one of those relationships many years ago and I was terrified that if I left him, he'd come after me. I finally went to my parent's home and stayed there until he left town. Abusive people hold a psychological sword over another person by telling them they'll kill them, etc., and in a painful state both physical and mental, one can't reason very well.

I think Fabwisp stated it very well. I think a lot of times the biggest thing is fear. Fear of being alone, homeless, unable to provide for yourself or your children. I think it's very sad. We definitely more woman's shelters where woman and children can go to get away from abusive men, and be safe.

Most women who stay in abusive relationships are housewives. They do not have other means of getting money so they stick with their husbands even though they really want to go away. There are also women who cannot leave their husbands because they are afraid of how the society will judge them. Image is very important to some people. In some societies, broken families are not really acceptable yet. And still, some women become martyrs not because they are financially dependent on their husbands or because they are worried about their image, but because they are emotionally dependent on their husbands. They are afraid to be alone. These are truly sad facts of life. Personally, when I get married and my husband becomes abusive, I will definitely leave him. I can support myself, my happiness is more important to me than my image, and I have never been emotionally dependent on any man.

Some battered wife stayed with their husbands out of love. Maybe during their dating times the husband is very sweet and loving and it sticks to the mind of the battered wife, as they say first impression lasts, and this is what happens to them. And there are some battered wives who think that they have no one else to turn to other than their abusive husbands that's why they stay with them.

For me, it was the whole "love is blind" scenario, but as I was still young I was able to brush myself off and walk away quite easily, as I wasn't that attached. If you've been with someone forever before these problems materialise it makes it that much harder :( I feel for these poor women (and men, it happens the other way around as well!)

I have had a couple of female friends in situations like this, and the reason most of them have stayed in abusive relationships are because they are not secure with themselves to stand alone. Most of these women depend on the man to be there, and if he's not she would not know what to do with herself. For other women that may be different, I have a friend who thought that if she left the man she was with he would kill her and a 2 kids, and I asked her what about if you stay won't he eventually end up killing you, and her response was no because I will be there with him to love him, but if I leave I wont and thats why he will kill me and my kids, and this guy seriously meant what he said because he always use to tell her, if you ever leave me I will kill you and those kids, "even when he said it in a joking matter amongst her friends". Some women are just frightened.

Sometimes in cases of emotional and verbal abuse, the woman is unaware that she is being abused. She just thinks that he is being mean. And guys tend to say it isnt abuse and make you feel dumb about saying it is if it is only verbal or emotional. They love that person and they do not want to accept that they are doing that. Denial. Or they are scared to leave because they are scared they can't make it on their own. In some cases, the abuser will threaten other family members, or friends, causing them to feel selfish, or guilty if they leave. Abusers tend to isolate their spouse and leave them feeling like they have no other option. That is why I think it is.

I used to wonder the same thing, but after a situation I was just in I can see why. I wasn't in a physical abuse situation but it was emotional and trust abuse. The reason I stayed in it so long even though I knew I should've broken up with her sooner was I enjoyed the emotional attachment, the actual having a relationship. I believe that many women in an abusive relationship stay because of the emotional attachment they have with this person and like being in a relationship. They are led to believe by some guys that no one else could possibly love them or to think that they are not beautiful, when that is simply not the case.

thanks for this post. i my self i have been wondering too why women in this type of situation are still putting up with such men.i have a cousin who is been beaten by her husband.even when they came to out state to visit us during one xmas holiday the husband wanted to beat her up so a cousine brother that came to visit us to stopped him and warn him not to tourch her again.i find out later that she love the man so much and that she has got so use to the beaten and she still continue to marry the man that one day he will change.she has four children for him .she said she want him to be the father of all her children that she dont want her children to have seperate father .well i just pray that God will help her

Lots of women stay in abusive relationship first, because of love and second, because of fear. Women also think that there will come a time when there husband will change but a lot really dont. Experiencing abuse will also cause the woman to develop very low self esteem. That is why, they need help from concerned people.

yes that is a very complicated issue there are alote of reason but the first and the main one is: FEAR alote of women grow up with a certain problem with men i mean maybe they saw at home a problametic situation between their parents and they know or thing that the only way to be treated is what they saw between their father and mother maybe it is a reason of an abuse that happend in the past that that women feels responsible for it in a certain way maybe it is an issue of unsolved problems in the past that braught up to a situation that the women has a low self estime and she thinks she can not have a better partner or that she deserves what she got cause who else would want her and treat her differently and somtimes it is the mens fault he has a problem of violence that he can not solve and his partner no matter how she loves him can not solve- he needs professional help if he does not do that there is no other choice then to leave you can not live in fear and with a partner that abuses you you have to overcome the fear there are alote of people that will gladly help those ladies and leave the partner those women should know they can live a good life with a good partner and be loved without being abused i have so this before and that is what i recommand

two things... emotional and financial dependency....nothing else.. its not fear its dependancy

I really do not have an answer for this question, but I was brought up in a household where my dad used to always go off and get into arguments/fights with my mom, we always moved but ended up going right back home. My niece is in an abusive relationship with her boyfrined, he claims he doesnt recall hitting on her or anything. I try to tell her to leave him but she never does, they might break up for a day or so but then she is right back with him. The last time he beat her so bad we had to call the cops becasue he broke the front door down and was kicking her in the face and stuff. I would love to know why women stay in abusive relationships.

Im currently attending a recovery seminar and most of the participants in that recovery seminar are battered wives, most of them stay in the abusive relationship because of fear that no man will ever love them, be with them or even accept them as they are if they leave the current man who's abusing them now. Some of them says that its love.. unconditional love, they still remain optimistic with regards to their relationships with their abusive husbands, partners or boyfriends, at the back of their mind, they're still HOPING that things will turn out for the better, that someday the guy will realize his faults and change and eventually love their wives or give them the respect due them. I have partly been in an abusive relationship, he doesnt beat me physically, he doesnt verbally abuse me- although emotionally i know he just used me, he used me as his comfort measure- someone he ran to when he's lonely or depressed- and when he's fine, he would just go away, without ever considering my feelings, and now im carrying his child- he doesnt want to marry me because he doesnt love me enough... inspite of that fact- im trying hard to maintain the "friendship" -- im not scared that he'll go away, i dont even know if i still love him, i want him to leave me alone and just stop ruining me and my life. But things are different now, there's a baby involved- as much as i want to get rid of him, i cant bear the fact that my child will have to grow up without even knowing that for once in her life- she has a father. I guess im partly optimistis as well that things will eventually turn out for the better...