I Might have you yelling at me but I want opinions

I think it is a difficult situation, but really there isn't really anything you can do. They aren't breaking the law, so you can't report them to anyone, you just have to do what you can for the children when you see them.

No, I don't think they are breaking the law or are worthy of reporting to family services. I think you should keep on doing what you are doing and have the girl over as often as possible. It is obvious she loves being with your daughter and your family. I think it is great that you EX is also sympathetic to the situation and willing to befriend the child. You are doing all you can do. Just don't stop doing it.

I want to say what a great person your ex is. For taking in another child knowing her situation. I wish all kids had somewhere they could go like that. Maybe this world be a much better place. I am glad the little girl has someone like your ex and you to watch over her.

If you really see neglect, then report them. if you don't see any true neglect. Child welfare doesn't consider smoking parents neglect. (although they should consider it abuse since its second hand smoke). But yeah not much else you can do except make sure the little girl feels loved and appreciated for who she is.

Unfortunately your right, there is not much you can do. If she is severely neglected then you could call social services. If it seems to be common for them to drink and drive with her in the car...that IS breaking the law. I am such an advocate myself for kids who dont have a say in their situations, that I think it may not be a bad idea to put a bug in social services ear on what you think is happening. If nothing ever happens to that little girl great, but at least if someone else calls too, then they have 2 people concerned about her well being. Who knows, you may not be the only one who has done this. You may even want to discuss this with their school counselor and see where it goes from there. I would just hate to tell you to do nothing, and see this poor girl die in one of there binge drinking road runs. Good Luck

My parents smoked in the car while i was a kid, and i hated it, it was like trapping me in a chamber with the thing i hated the most, i can remember going on long car trips and just wishing i could fly out the window because of all the smoke.

My dad used to smoke and my hubby smoked for years until he had his 2nd heart attack ( has had 4)and a triple bypass, I have asthma caused by secondary smoking , But I never realised there was a smell from the smoking until they both stopped , Now It makes me feel sick and starts my asthma off , You are doing all you can do by keeping her out of it as much as you can , take care xx

I hope when they drink and drive, they don't take the children with them. I don't know if there is anything you could do. It is nice that your ex-girlfriend take's her with them, and give's her some attention. I am sure the little girl is in desperate need of some attention.

It is a sad situation but there is little you can do. If you suspect the parents of drinking and driving with the kids in the car I would call the police when I see them leave. Too bad they won't smoke outside. My husband smokes and he wouldn't smoke outside at first but now he does and it makes a big difference. Give the little girl all the attention you can, maybe you are meant to be her angel to deal with what she has to at home.

How very sad... There are alot of kids who live like this at no fault of their own... You can't choose your parents. What you are doing by letting her spend so much time with you and your family is wonderful... You're giving her a break from the rough childhood she has. Smoking in your own home is not breaking the law-- so there isn't anything legally you can do there-- but if they drink and drive and take their kids with them- that is breaking the law... I so feel for the kids.. Your ex is a great person also for taking on another child.. How wonderful that the mom lets her kid go every other weekend to someone else's house. Just keep doing what you can for this little girl. Hopefully these people will get a clue.

Hmmm that is indeed a sad situation and well there is not much you can do about it if her mother does not care about her. I know it is the cold hard fact but all you can do is to try talking to her if you have good speaking terms with her. I am also a smoker but I make sure that kids never get to inhale what I exhale. That is what I call irresponsible guardian. Maybe you could tell the kids to play in a room in which there is no smoke but I doubt it will work for your daughter's friend. If you feel very strongly about it maybe you should have a talk with the 'Mother'

These type of parents should be punished by the society. Are they human beings, that they smoke in front of their kids? When my friends come home and we have a couple of drinks, wwe always go to the balcony or terrace for a puff to avoid smoking in front of the kids. I think these guys are least bothered about their kids. But if the parents don't bother, howmuch can others help? Maybe you caan give the friend of your daughter little good time everyday by bringing them to your home. Or maybe just give a word of advise to her parents to abstain from their habits in front of their kids. I mean there are lot of other ways to do it.

It is too bad that these kids do not have a choice, but have to endure the health risks caused by their parents bad habits. Until Social Services decides that this is abuse it will continue as it is. It will do you no good to complain. I hope you will continue to be a guardian angel to this girl. It is great that you and your daughter have taken this girl under you wing and at least give her some much needed attention. Hopefully you can do this without making her feel bad. Let her know that it is not her fault. If she complains about it at home it goes unheard or ignored. Smoking is one of those hidden forms of abuse. People who smoke and refuse to limit/quit their habit think that the myth of second hand smoke is bogus. That their rights to smoke don't affect anyone but themselves. I have a very good friend that is a human chimney. He gets all bent out of shape when I make him smoke outside when it is cold. He thinks it is the smell that bothers me. I have asthma and breathing is more important to me. I can wash the smell out of my clothes. Some pesople care only about themselves. They refuse to admit that what they are doing might be hurtful to others. Good luck and keep up your kindness to this girl. You will be rewarded someday in your efforts.

why would any of us yell at you?? it sounds like you are doing what you can to help this little girl, aside from calling CPS, which, i don't think is completely merited in this situation. i mean, sure, they sound like not so great parents, but she has parents who give her a home, clothes, food, and a home life that is possible to rise above. please keep her close to you and your family and once she gets older you can maybe help her apply for college scholarships and show her that she can be better than the life she grew up in. take care:)

I am a smoker myself , but I try not to smoke as much when there are others around , I will at least ask if its OK first . If the person doesn`t mind then I will light up , but if they do I won`t . Why would you get yelled at for this , it isn`t your fault .

I feel for kids in situations like this. I have one that is somewhat similiar but in her case the parents are never home. I won't let my daughter spend the night or go over there because they have a bad habit of not watching them or letting their thirteen year old son watch them. So I just let her come to my house.

It is a shame that people can't see the effects of thier lifestyles. I used to smoke myself many years ago..so I know how hard it can be to quit...however I did...for my son and myself. I think people need to think more about thier kids and less about thier own selfish habits and addictions. I would just tell you and your ex to do what you can for this little girl. It is not her fault she has been put in such a bad situation...and I can't blame her for craving affection and a sense of well-being...and attention...At least she has you and your daughter and extended family..so that is nice.

I think that you have a wonderful heart. It is sad that children cannot pick their homes, but, that won't change. But people like you will but a dent into her heart for the rest of her life. God bless you dear.

i think there not that much you can do unless you can be close to her and start talking to her and be a good guide or or otherwise she can follow her mothers's way.and you can feel as a mother if she is a good seed or not and worth from you to look after as you daughter and may god bless all our children.

That is so sad. To be completly honest with you, I would call child services. That child should not have to live in that kind of an enviroment. I don't think people should smoke around kids. I am a smoker, but I have never lite a cig in front of a child. We don't even smoke in our house. We go outside. Nobody in their right mind should ever put a child in the car with them if they have been drinking. That is terrible! LIke I said, I think that child services need to be called.