Childcare Question
By littlebear
@littlebear (64)
Australia
February 22, 2007 5:34pm CST
Hi, recently I have started back at work and my 1 year old is now attending childcare 2 days a week. In many ways she has adapted to care really well, (is sleeping well there, is eating well and generally has a full day playing with the carers and toys and is always really happy when I collect her). My concern is that she still cries at the moment I try to leave (granted she has only been in care for a few weeks and perhaps still needs to get used to this part) but I can't help but wonder if I am doing some psychological damage? I have read that it makes it worse if you just sneak off (ie the child might not cry but will not "trust" you is the theory). What are your thoughts on childcare - more damage than good? Has anyone on mylot attended childcare themselves, and do you think it harmed you in any way? Would love to hear other peoples experiences.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@CherylPH (32)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I am a daycare teacher, and I see this everyday in my school. Each child is different, but most children go through a transition period that can last from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, no joke, months. the best thing for you to do, is not linger too long. It is ok to talk to the teacher for a few minutes, and then tell your child , i'm going to work, but i'll see you later, then leave. Yes, she will cry, but if you have a really good teacher, she(he) will comfort your child and let her know that it's ok to be upset, but mom will come back. that is what i do with my kids that come in and cry. I love to cuddle with them when they are upset, it helps to calm them down faster than just letting them sit and cry alone. Talk to your child's teacher and ask what she does to help transition your child.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Excellent response. Children need to be reassured that mom or dad will be back. You sound like you are a great daycare teacher.
@littlebear (64)
• Australia
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your response. I try not to linger too long but I also don't want to "dump and run" either. I guess it is a fine line between the two. The carers in my daughters room are fabulous and are very good at distracting her when I leave and making her "forget" that i have gone. Usually I can hear that she has stopped crying even before I have left the building.
Just last night I asked the carers the exact same question as I have here and they basically gave me the same answer as you! I just hope that my little one only takes a few weeks for the transition and not months! I am hopeful that this will be the case as I never thought she would be able to sleep in a strange environment with lots of people around but she slept well from day one!
Thanks again - you have helped ease my mind.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I have not been in a childcare as a child but as a adult I have worked as a teacher. It is hardest on the child if you sneak away because than when they go and look for you you are no where to be found. It is better to work with the child and help them with some of the anxiety they have. One of the things one of my parents used to do is give her child a clock and have it set for when she would be there to pick her up. She sat down with the child and had the alarm go off a couple of times so the child would know the sound and she told her child that when that sound went off she would be there to pick her up. You would be surprised how that helped to calm the child down. I will keep you in my prayers because it is very hard for a parent to leave a child some where when they are crying. It also is a adjustment for you to make. Good luck.
@littlebear (64)
• Australia
23 Feb 07
The clock sounds like a great idea - but due to traffic I am not sure that I would be able to consistently be able to pick her up at exactly the same time. I guess if I was early it would not matter but if I was late I would feel awful for letting her down. Also I am not sure that my 12 month old would fully understand the concept but definately I will keep it in mind for when she is a little older (but I am hoping that she will have adjusted by this time!).
Thanks for your response and yes I think it is harder on the parents at times too!
