I am beyond furious right now!!!!

I do find this behaviour disrespectful. How hard is it to quickly call or even send a text message. My husband knows that if he is going to be late, he has to let me know because Im such a worrywart, he did forget to ring me once and i sat there and imagined all the horrible things that could be wrong so now out of respect, he calls. Its bad enough that he was late but to think of how much work you put into dinner... Grrr Id be very mad.

It is an issue that bothers me quite a lot as well. It shows immaturity and lack of consideration. MY husband always calls when he's late now, but hey we've been married for over 20 years and it took him a while to understand why it bothered me when he didn't. Like yours he felt my need for him to call as a need for him to report his whereabouts and resented that. The fact that I could be worried seemed to be foreign to him. He used to "forget" calling specially when he was with friends, because he felt that if he called me they would think I was the one "with the pants" in the family, and feared they would make fun of him or criticize him - again , very immature. With time he finally started understanding my point, but it took a while.

I find it a bit suspicious, myself. It's as if he's trying to keepyou busy so he can find excuses for being late. Why would he turn off his cell, then call from a friend's house? YOu might start having him make his own meals when he feels this time needs to be so flexible. What friend's house would hbe at after staying at work late for a car sale? Sounds suspicious to me.

I will look at all your other discussions but can I ask you one thing and thats only because I have been through this before do you think that he I messing around on you? when he says that a deal walked in just before closing have you ever call the dealers that he works for to see if anyone answers the phone? ok two questions.

I think you are seeing his actions as a betrayal of your trust.From the sounds of it you have had your fill of excuses and reasons, So now is the time for you to take charge of your life. From here on in you do what has to be done for the safety and comfort of you and your children. Let you husband be the one that has to try to keep caught up. He has put you in the back seat and had to follow him, if this is not working for you change the game field and the rules.You are only a victim if you volunteer. . You can do this. all you have to do is do it.

Yes you desirve a phone call or some sort of message. I used to work long hours an hour drive from home and there were very few times that I could get to a phone. We had an agreement that if she did not hear from me by 4:00 or so to make dinner for her and the kids and I would get leftovers. It was me that was holding up everything so why should they suffer for it. Maybe this helps

this is pobably as disrespectful as it gets. I would be furious if my bf or husband acted like this and didn´t think I was worth more than that. I havent read all your other posts but from this one it sounds as though you are amaking a last effort and that should go BOTH ways - it shouldn´t just be you who make an effort to make it work. I am sorry that this has happened and I totally think that u have a good reason to be angry, especially since he had the guts to make a request and then not show up... That is just soooo... Argh - I would be so angry!!!

You are totally right. It is a matter of respect. His phone being off is a sign that he lied. It doesn't take 4 hours to close a car deal. His reply to you that he doesn't have to report to you is another clue that he lied. You need to confront him and get the truth. This is probably not what you wanted to hear but it sounds like a wake up call.

Actually that is very inconsiderate behavior. Not to mention unacceptable. He lives with someone..whether he is married or not isn't the point here. If he had a roommate, and he decided to stay out late, it is only common courtesy to call and let someone know. If he lived at home and wanted to stay out late again it is only common courtesy to call. The fact that he is married and seems to think it is perfectly ok to do whatever he wants and he does not feel he needs to let you know just appalls me. I think its training time. I think you should go off one evening when he is expecting you to be at home and not tell him or have dinner waiting. Then when he finds you (by phone, or when you get home) tell him that the way you understand the rules is that you don't have to report to him. You don't have to be at home, and you don't have to cook for him either..and since he feels like it is ok for him to do whatever he wants, then its ok for you to do it too.. The rules should be the same for both parties. I learned this trick from my mom as my husband was notorious for doing his own thing without checking with me while i sat at home and worried and wondered. It worked too because guys have the tendency to want us to live by one set of rules while they live by another. I had tried talking ot him about it and he blew me off.. So my mom gave me some good advice. She said..you were a person before him. you should still be a person. you come and go as you please, and do not be so available to him. He will get the message. And he did. She was right.

I just went and read all of your posts concerning the problems you've been dealing with because of your hubby. He is really putting you through the ringer!! He sounds like he is 33 going on 2! From what you have said, he seems like a very immature, inconsiderate, selfish guy. His behavior toward you is totally unacceptable. And it's not good for you either. And all of that stress is probably being felt by the baby too. You deserve to be loved, respected, and fairly treated, and he isn't doing that. Frankly, his behavior seems pretty suspicious. Don't stand for it hon. It might be difficult, but put your foot down and tell him to knock it off. If he starts in on you, take the little one and go to a friends, parents, etc. until he cools down. Hopefully, he'll get the idea and straighten up.

ya i think that type of behaviour is unacceptable.

he's really too much i think. even by sending a massage doesn't waste him too much of his time right? its a matter of respect between a couple. yes its really very inconsiderate n unacceptable for wat i see. if this happened to me i will sure be as furious as you.

He is disrespectful and inconsiderate..and I'm sure he knows it..what adult in a relationship can NOT know that it is common courtesy to call one's partner when one is going to be later than expected...especially when a meal is being prepared at their request...Shame on him...What do you think he would do if you treated him this way? I haven't read previous posts about your relationship...but it does sound as though he is testing your patience...or the strength of the relationship...Best of luck...sounds like counseling may be in your future.. couples or singles......Sending good thoughts and energy your way....

moon magick. I feel badly for you because I think that you really are trying so hard for your husband. I can't see why he isn't doing his part. I woudl be absolutely FURIOUS if my husband had done that to me. He HAS done things like that once or twice, but when I get mad, he's very apologetic and truly doesn't think it's a big deal, however, it IS a big deal because it upset me so much. I think it's selfish that your husband didn't even apologize especially when you made a nice meal for him. He doesn't seem to act very responsible. I'm sorry to say.

It is horrible and unacceptable behavior. I would have been very upset as well. Since you being upset seemed to encourage him, I would just start trying to pull away from him. Don't cook him dinner one night and be out at a friends or something and not tell him. I would just kind of show him how it's like rather than yell, argue or pick a fight.

This behavior is 100% not acceptable.

Yes I do find it inconsiderate of him. To make matters worse he made a dinner request! and mind you that dinner is not that easy to prepare. Sometimes men can be insensitive. My partner once asked me to cook salmon pasta and only to tell me after I ask him to taste it that it's good that he already ate some bread! Perhaps your husband feels like he is a little child who needs to report to his mother. Men never liked it when their partner asks where they are, what they are doing, who they are with etc.

Wow, moonmagick, you sound fed up! I'd be royally ticked off if my boyfriend had done that to me. Calling is a courtesy and a show of love and respect. The fact that he requested a special dinner then didn't bother to show or call is almost unforgivable. I guess my question would be.... how much more are you willing to take before you make some kind of change, whatever that may be? Good luck!

I have had this happen to me a few times. It's one of the few things that infuriates me about my partner. He never calls if he's going to be late. Well, he never used to. He was late home one night from a shoot he was working on. 7 hours late to be precise. I'd tried calling his phone - with no luck. Switched off or out of range. 5 hours after he was supposed to have been home I was worried out of my mind and calling round the Hospitals to see if anyone with his name had been admitted. No luck there. He strolled in 7 hours late with a bandage round his wrist and apologizing profusely. I went absolutely mental on him and he said he should have made time for a quick call to let me know they were going to be late. As for his wrist? A light back had popped open and landed on his wrist burning it quite badly. He ended up taking a week off for it to recover and lost his place on set. Now he makes sure he calls me if he's going to be late. As for your husband, I find it very disrespectful, mainly because I've been there. I honestly don't know how you can end this behavior. My partner didn't fully realize how worried I'd been till he saw the phone book open with the phone numbers of the hospitals underlined. Maybe you need to really impress upon him how much you worry about him when he doesn't at least call you to let you know he'll be late. If he isn't willing to let you know, then you shouldn't be expected to wait on him hand and foot. It works both ways.

I know I am a stranger to you, but trust me when I say I have ben where you are. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. In the early years he was very immature and self-ish. He would "work late", not call,be rude and verbally abusive etc. I stayed and we fought like cats and dogs for many years. It took me finding out about another woman he was having an emotional affair with for things to change. The first thing that changed was the locks... he lived in his car for 3 days. We are still together, but ONLY because he made an effort to change. Now we are a loving couple. But it took going through Hell to get here. Now here is the important part.. our daughter who is now 18, had to listen to all those fights and see all that pain... and even though we are happy now, i wish I would have left my husband back then to save my child from all that pain. You sound young and able to care for yourself and your child. Gte some self respect that I didn't have and move on. If your husband truly cares he will change. But HE has to do it for himself. Trust me if he doesn't change you and your son are better off.. besides do you really want your son to grow up with that influence?? How will you feel in 15-20 years when he is treating woman this way? You can do this... email me if you want to talk some more: funnyfarm1993@sbcglobal.net Mandi