I never thought I would be in such a moral delema within myself...

That's a tough problem. I have a few opinions of her right at the moment but I'll keep them to myself since I don't know the whole story and she's your friend. I think she is feeling very scared and worried about how she could care for three children on her own. Those fears are completely justifiable. I think what you should do first is be a good friend to her. Sit her down and talk to her. She is probably so stressed about the pregnancy that she isn't seeing things long term. Being a single, pregnant mom is only temporary. Her situation could easily change for the better in the near future. Ending her child's life is a quick fix but permanent. If you truly want to be a good friend you need to think about what you can offer her. Some spare cash now and then? Extra groceries? Babysitting so she can work more hours? Maybe just helping her find programs that will help. If in the end she still wants to terminate, then go with her. Hold her hand and be there for her. You might not agree with her decision but that's what friends are for. To be there no matter what.

If it was me. I would not give her a ride. I would explain to her that it was against my belief and just couldn't do it. I offer to tak ethe baby if she choose to carry it to term thou. I was injuried when I was a child. I was told I was never going to have any children. Well, Luckily..I did end up having a child. Than I lost two. It took me 7 years more before I could have another child...In that time...I seen a stepsister abuse her child. Leave him in dirty diapers that he had a bad rash that put him in the hospital. I seen another friend who decided to leave her boyfriend and go down hill with her kids. I even offered to take her girls in while she got on her feet or adopt them. Instead she decided to go to a homeless shelter. Than leave her kids in an area where people were going through clothes. Took off and didn't say a word. I watched her loose her kids. Than I watched another friend care more about a looser boyfriend than her kids. Didn't have a fridge or a working stove..Lost her kids to the state as well to. All this while I wanting another child of my own. I apprecaite my kids. Even on their bad days when they throw a fit. So as you can see. I could never in my life help someone get rid of a child. If anything I would be very upset at the friend. I can't tell you what to do. But I can suggest you follow your heart. Do what your heart, morals and values tell you to do. This does not make you a bad friend. But a good friend being honest. Even in a sticky situation....Good luck.

I don't think I would be able to do that . I tried for eight and a half long years to be able to have another baby and couldn't . I had been told it was virtually impossible for me to have another . I was on Clomid for over a year trying to help and it didn't do anything . I rememeber crying and wondering why people that didn't want their babies could get pregnant so easy and here I was with two beautiful children and wanting more and was not able to do it . I saw children in school getting pregnant and would see on the news , people having babies and leaving them out in the cold to die and this would break my heart and made me feel like I must be a horrible parent if someone like this could have a baby and yet I stil couldn't . I miscarried three babies and this was really hard to bear also . After going through all that I did , I would never be able to be a friend enough to have someone expect me to take them to do something such as this . I now have more children and was lucky but have never forgot how miserable I felt and still wonder why it is that those that don't really want their children can have them so easy while others are trying so hard and either have to wait so many years or never have the pleasure of carrying their own child . There is so many people out there that want to have a baby so bad and can't and yet your friend seems to have no problems doing this and yet she is just willing to end a life of a child she said she wanted . I'm sorry if this comes across harsh as I am not trying to put anyone down for their decisions in life , it just still hurts to know that there are still people who can be so callous when it comes to the life of an innocent .

jeezu talk about a rock and a hard place your in. but like someone above said..you're the one who has to live with helping her or not. if it upsets you THEN DONT give her the ride. she can find someone else to do it. i have always been Pro-Choice. however i DO NOT condone abortions just because a woman makes a stupid decision then suddenly decides to change her mind. your friend doesnt sound like a good mother or a decent person. sorry to say that but there it is. you cant decide to bring life into the world and then partway thru change your mind like you change a food order!! one thing i do agree with the Pro-Life ppl is..life is life! and shouldnt be disregarded as an afterthought. certain circumstances, in my opinion, override that "life is life" statement (like rape, danger to mother) but your friend just taking an "oh well" attitude on the subject has got to be one of the most childish and pathetic excuses for a GROWN woman to come up with. sorry..but true. dont give her the ride. tell her why too. whether your pro-life or pro-choice can you remain a friend of someone who is so flippant about a child?

Oh God, what a terrible situation to be in. At the end of the day, I think you should do what is morally right for you, because you have to live with the decision you make. Yes, it might be her choice whether or not to terminate the pregnancy, but you do not have to be involved. That said, if you don't drive her, it could be the end of your friendship. But that said, is she really a friend if she expects you to comprise your morals and beliefs? A true friend would respect that you disagree on this issue and do not want to be involved. It sounds to me like you have a valid reason for her not terminating the pregnancy, and an abortion really is against what you believe in this case. I think you should stand your ground and stick by what you believe in. Like I said before, a true friend will understand your decision and, although likely to be hurt in the short term, will respect your integrity.

If I were you I would tell her that you want no part of it. It is not right for her to destroy that babies life if she was trying to get pregnant in the first place. She should carry it for 9 months and give it up. She is killing a baby and that just is not right in my book. I can't understand how anyone can do that to begin with and also if she planned it. I guess she does not feel anything then.

Jesus how selfish can you get... this is why religion SUCKS... She is your friends, and if you are in fact a friend you would help her in WHATEVER HER choice is. It has absolutly NOTHING to do with you and your beliefs. I personally think she IS being sensible about it, with already 2 kids and single why bring another child into this forsaken world... There is enough trash already to deal with.

I was in the same situation as you are now. I have a 17 year old friend who got herself pregnant and because she is afraid of her parents, she wants to have an abortion. I kept telling her the downside to that and even offered her to live with me to hide her pregnancy from her parents. We are not in the US though and abortion is pretty much a no no here. If it's legal in your country or state and if this is what she really wants, maybe you can tell her you don't want to be a contributor to this thing she is planning.

I don't think as a friend I could stand by someone who would do this. Especially since she was trying to have a baby and doesn't want it now that the man is gone, that just makes me sick! Men leave pregnant women all the time, it sucks, but they carry on, if a man does that he's not worth the time, but the baby does deserve to live, it's not his/her fault that the relationship didn't work out. I would talk to her about your feelings, perhaps offer support should she want to keep the baby, show her some resources for adoption. You have a chance to make a difference to this woman and you should take advantage of that. Good luck!

i would definitly tell her everything you just wrote. as her friend, you need to tell her your feelings and how you feel it is wrong to involve you. don't take her down there if thats your feelings. it will only make you feel as a willing participate. if she still wants to terminate, it is still her choice but let someone else take her. maybe she will reconsider if she has more time to try to find a new ride. ?

You really should stand up to your own beliefs on this one. The situation doesnt matter that much compared to compromising yourself. Youre not the one who has caused the situation to happen. I can understand that she wants a friend to hold her hand and come along. But she really should show a little respect on how you feel. Personally Ive had helped her. But thats because I dont see any reasons why its not her choice to make. Im not against terminating pregnancies personally, and I personally dont think that that is the problem in this case. The problem I see is your friend. Her point of view on how to keep a man around doesnt coincide with how most ppl work it appears, and she most likely wont learn from personal experience seeing that this is already the third time she has done it. This is not just a minor error in judgement. Its pretty much a catastrophy for both parties involved. The first action would be not to have the child. Adoption or termination would work either way. But its not a solution.

That is a very hard situation. But I feel that your friend should be able to respect where you are coming from and be able to find anohter way to get to planned parenthood, if that's what she really wants. If you give her a ride, not only are you enabling the termination of the pregnancy, but you are enabling her actions. And while I believe, as do you, that termination of pregnancy is a choice for every woman, doesnt mean you have to enable the behavior.

I had a very similar situation in which my best friend, who already had two children from two different fathers, got pregnant with a third child from a third father. (This one wasn't planned though) She called me up and asked me if I would give her a ride to the abortion clinic. I was feeling everything you say you are... I believe every woman should make that choice for themselves, and I personally would never choose to abort a child but that doesn't mean others shouldn't have that option open. But when asked to actually take part in helping my friend get to the abortion, it was a really hard thing for me. I said I would do it because I love my friend and would do anything for her. I told her that I loved her kids that she already had and I would love any child she had so I'd be happy if she kept the baby, but I'd also be supportive if she chose the abortion. In the end, she cancelled the abortion, and now she is keeping the baby. I think so far you have done the right thing by talking her about alternatives like letting someone else adopt the baby... but in the end its going to be her choice. Whether or not you give her a ride, she will do what she's going to do. If you ask me, I would say that if you really feel uncomfortable giving her the ride, you should just be honest and tell her you don't think you can help her with that. Maybe you could help in another way, like offering to watch her other children while she goes, or whatever. If you do choose to give her a ride, do your best to be supportive in how she's feeling, because its going to be physically and emotionally painful for her. Try not to bring up your judgements of her and just be there for her in the moment. Good luck!

I wouldn't do it. Sure, she would find another ride and that's fine, it's her choice to make, but I, personally, would not be involved in helping her destroy a baby she actively sought to create. And to go a step further, based on how you describe her to be, I would probably no longer be friends with her, either. She sounds like a selfish person with very poor judgment and little impulse control. I feel for her children, but she sounds like a nightmare.

Reading your post made me feel very sad. I think you need to tell your friend that in good conscience and as her friend, you cannot co-operate in this. Obviously you can't stop her from doing what she intends to do, but at least maybe you will send her a strong signal that she is doing the wrong thing.

well being a friend means promoting the right and stopping thw wrong or atleast telling your friend that whatever she is doing isnt right(atleast for the momenT) my god! I am typing it for another time now --- I dont understand why people think they can take life from somebody (including themselves) when they cant actually give life to someone? if your friend is thinking of doing away with the baby, mind it she would never be able to actually get away from her, sin apart of it!!! You being a true friend should rather stop her and calmly make her understand the things and alongwith that make her realise her mistake!

I would think you should be a friend to her--first and foremost.. Talk to her-- be sure this is what she really wants to do. Take her to a counselor where they will go over her options-- Professionals might be able to talk her into having the baby and putting the baby up for adoption. If you are against this-- Do not take her to have this done.. But also try not to give up on her either-- She sounds like she really could use a friend. Whatever she chooses it is her choice-- and hers alone. Give her the information to make a great choice and then continue to be a friend for whatever choice she makes. Just don't take her.. Especially if it's not something you believe in! Good luck to you and especially Your Friend!

i thing you should ask her that she should up her child for adoption as there are lots of parents who are without children,so it's a good option for her.

Don't give her the ride. A true friend is not an enabler. You tried to warn her about the realtionship, that was correct. Abortion will compound the error. Obviously, the choice is yours but there are consequences for wrong actions, as you've noticed. Co-habitation, wrong; intimate relations outside of the marriage relationship, strike two; strike three (abortion?).... don't be a part of it. Tell her you love but can't be a part of this decision. You won't regret it. My heart goes out to you are your friend. We, as a society, have let you down by turning away from absolute right and wrong. We need to get back to God's priciples for living. Not popular today but look around, how are we doing without Him? countdown21.com

I dont think it is for anyone to judge her right or wrong. Having an abortion is a big decision and ultimately the choice is hers. She has admitted that she was struggling with two kids so a third would not help this situation, especially as it looks like she will be unable to rely on the father. Personally I would favor abortion to adoption although I do understand the reasons for both. You need to decide if you can accept what she decides either way and continue to be her friend. Perhaps you need to look at how much her friendship means to you if you are questioning whether or not to give her a ride?? If you still want to be her friend but are unable to support her in this decision than you need to talk to her and explain that to her. The last thing you need to do is worry about whether what she is doing is right or wrong - you only have to decide if you want to give her a lift or not and how this will affect your friendship. Good luck