How about the husband getting the Wife's Surname?
By kokopelli
@kokopelli (4842)
United States
35 responses
@srinathakarapu (3093)
• India
16 Oct 06
u said males and females got equal rights then it would be better if they takeup both the sunames and make a new one for the child..;)
@Tanya8 (1733)
• Canada
16 Oct 06
My huband and I did this. I personally would have preferred that we all change our names, so that everyone under our roof would share a name, and it wouldn't be so difficult to explain at school, the airport etc. My husband didn't want to give up his name and was worried about tradition. His last name rhymes with mine and would have sounded ridiculous. It also belongs to a father who abandoned him as a baby, so we gave our kids his mother's last name (which is lovely) as a tribute to her, as she was sick with a terminal illnes when they were born.
I think there definitely is an equality issue going on, if men think they would lose something by changing their names. If it's such a threat to one's sense of self, why do we expect women to do it?
I had the idea that a couple should change their names to a shared new one, before I met my husband, but unfortunately he's more traditional than me, and found the idea upsetting. It seems like the most logical egalitarian way to handle the issue in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
16 Oct 06
wow, this is now becoming more exciting for me. i'm actually learning ... tnx 4d reply.
@tentwo67 (3382)
• United States
16 Oct 06
I know of one couple who did this. It was a little bit odd but as long as they're happy I don't really have a strong feeling either way.
BUT, since the majority of the women out there got their surnames from their fathers, is it really a truly feminist thing for the woman to share their father's surnames with their husband. And she couldn't even really go back to her own mother's name first, because that most likely came from the grandfather.
There was a time when I didn't want to change my name at marriage but I have made peace with the whole thing in my mind. I don't mind the tradition even though I think of myself as a feminist.
@tentwo67 (3382)
• United States
16 Oct 06
I totally get where you're coming from on this, but it's been going on so long this way and it would take so very long to un-do, that I kind of feel like it's better left alone.
Besides, I'm all for girl power - truly - but why would it make more sense for the man to take the woman's name than the other way around? If neither of us took the others' names ever then where would all the names come from??
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
16 Oct 06
actually, this Q just popped out when i read a book asking:
"... so where do you get your individuality as a WOMAN? you and the rest of your female descent DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME. your name is your husband's, his is his father's, and his father's is his grandfather's, nothing from the women. same with your mother who got your father's name, and your grandmother..."
this kinda struck a sensitive spot you know...
thus this Q :)
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
17 Oct 06
from freedom of choice? i think having a choice would be good :)
@perkelvin (264)
• Nigeria
15 Oct 06
it will b a stupid thing to do cos a man is a man and a woman is a woman ,a man marrys a woman and not a woman marries a man a man is the head and not a woman man has been made to b the head and not a woman. man was created b 4 womanand a woman just mere rib so man surname shuld b answered
@cuddlebug79705 (2003)
• United States
17 Oct 06
I think that it is just appropriate for a woman to take the husbands name. He is to be the head of the household, and so I would think taking his name would be part of that.
1 person likes this
@gnilraps1979 (310)
• Australia
16 Oct 06
My man likes the idea of it, especially because it make his name the same as his late best friend.
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
16 Oct 06
whoa! you're the first so far to say that. i guess your man is extraordinary :)
@simonpaul (737)
• Nigeria
16 Oct 06
i have not heared of such a thing.but we live in a world where avery thing is possible. i think that it depend on how good the man can hold on to his intergrity maybe the man wants something his fathers name could not get for him he then answeers his wife family name so as to get what it wants be it money or whatever it is but in the process the man has lost the intergrity he has as a man it will be such a pathectic story.
@bhbirdie6 (1765)
• United States
17 Oct 06
I don't think it really matters. Maybe if one of them has a really weird or unpronouncable name that they don't like then they can switch... that's it... whoever likes their last name the least can do the switching.
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
17 Oct 06
yep, instead of twisting each one's and other people's tongue, hehe. tnx 4d reply.
@rejin_rob (394)
• India
16 Oct 06
well yeaaa......its the new millenium......tht does mean everything in this world should change?!?!?......males are regarded as the head of the family......
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
16 Oct 06
hmm, my personal opinion? tough, hehe.
i like the equality and individuality thing, however, to trace one's family tree, i guess what we have now works! :)
@revdianaholliday (41)
• United States
16 Oct 06
While this might seem rare in America, if a man would rather take his wife's name, I think it's awesome.
1 person likes this
@sherinek (3320)
• United States
16 Oct 06
Since it has been the practice for as long as we lived, no one will want to change. But I have known wives who have not changed their names or use both surnames (like myself). I dont think I live to see the day that a husband willingly taking wives name.
@sunsham68 (1376)
• India
16 Oct 06
Interesting option - I might not have liked it if i liked the surname, but in the event i did not, this could be an option - hard to digest though - since it is the man thats the head of the house and all that..looking what the general opinion is..
1 person likes this
@athreyas3006 (358)
• India
16 Oct 06
The purpose of a name is to identify a person. It all
depends on how our mind is conditioned to look at it.
1 person likes this
@Dark_Prince (152)
• India
16 Oct 06
haha..its upto the couple to decide..thou i wud say its a bit preposterous :P
1 person likes this
