I thought they hired him

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So I ended up going to the premiere that night. The DayQ*il took away the body ach*s, and I just didn't speak to anyone to save my throat. Maybe it gave me an air of mystery. The afterparty was at Shag on Cahuenga. They had valet parking in front. Right where the valet spaces ran out, which was basically right at the valet station, some old du*e had parked his ba*tered pickup truck. He was in a legal space, so they couldn't make him move. And so now, he was sitting in the bed of his pickup truck, yelling at people coming in and out of the party. "Hey Angelina! Put on a hat!" and "None of you got no ba*ls under your dresses!" Non-sen*ical, in this sini*ter, broken-bottle voice. He was my favorite part of the party. No one could make him leave. I didn't want him to go. He reminded me of one of the wei*der things I've ever seen at a movie. I went to see the awful Val Kilmer/Elisabeth Shue's bre*sts remake of THE S*INT. And as everyone's leaving the theater, there's this huge retarded black guy in the ha*lway, and as everyone passed, he screamed, "IS A COMIC BOOK COME TA LIFE!"It wasn't.