I need help with mt 5 year old daughter

I was quite the tomboy myself as a child and was rougher and tougher than most of the boys in my neighborhood. Instead of playing with dolls I was outside helping my dad change the oil in the car and learning how to build model airplanes. I avoided most things considered "girlie" stuff. By the time I was 13 I was racing my motorcycle on a motocross track and beating guys 5 yrs older than me. I was able to change a tire and the oil in a car and fix a leaky pipe under the sink. My mother was a little worried about me being so boyish, I grew up during the 60's and 70's so being a tomboy meant you were a little weird. My father and grandfather both encouraged me to do anything I wanted to do no matter what anyone thought. As a result, I am an independent, strong willed, self-sufficient, well educated, capable woman. I have a wonderful husband who lets me speak my mind and feels comfortable turning to me for help with something and doesn't put me down when I ask for his help with something. I get very upset sometimes with some of my single friends when they get a flat tire and won't change it themselves or won't do something as simple as check the oil or tire pressure in their car. They call me or stop by my house and ask me to do it for them. Several times I've told them if they want me to do this then they have to stand there and watch me and I'll tell them step by step how to do it themselves. Some learn some don't want to. I love being the person I am because my family accepted me as I am and didn't try to change me. I would encourage you to accept your daughter as she is and not try to turn her into your idea of what she "should" be. It will only cause conflict between you. Just love her and guide her but let her be her own person.

I agree with most of the responses. Don't worry about it. If she's a tomboy or a girly girl what's the difference? Growing up I was an independent tomboyish girl. I didn't like dresses and preferred to play war with the boys than Barbie with the girls. I often took charge of the group of the girls I played with because they couldn't come up with cool ideas to play. And I sometimes chased the boys simply because I thought they were cute. Even now I can mix it up and be really feminine and wear dresses or have a bit more of an edge and wear pants or whatever. What you wear doesn't make you who you are. Let your daughter wear what she wants as long as she's not wearing something totally crazy like pajamas in the snow. If you try to force the issue you might it a bigger problem/issue than it should be.

I didnt wear a dress outside school until I was 13 1/2 and suddenly I started growing out of being a tomboy. Thats what you have now and yelling at her, punishing her and making her wear dresses is not going to help. Some grow out of that stage before 10, so just mark time and let nature take its course.

I had a niece who was also like that. She was boyish in her younger years, but today she is married and had 3 children. As she grows older she will realized that her actions should be change specially if she has friends who will tell her to be more like a girl.

I think with time it'll pass . . . I like pants too :) Maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable in skirts , dresses and so on . Maybe I could help you if you answer my questions . Does she have a favourite cartoon character that is a girl ? I think you know what I mean . Usually the cartoon girls are full of girlness . . . Maybe you could make her to follow it . . .

My advice is to NOT try to force her. Let her develop as she pleases, forcing her to do something that she doesn't want to do may have serious psychological repercussions. Five year olds like to run around and play and skirts can get in the way. My younger sister wanted to be a boy when she was younger, in 2nd grade, she convinced her teachers to call her George! My recommendation is to get her playing with other little girls, that way, she can relate to them and perhaps make the choice herself.

I'm not sure that there is anything you can do about the fact that she wants to be like a boy. I really think that the only thing you can do is buy her pretty trousers with flowers on and grow her hair long so people know that she is a girl.

My advise to you is to let her act the way she wants, as in time the hormones will kick in and matters will get back to what you would like to see happen. Forcing her in this stage does more harm then any good.

Hi Lett :o) I really don't think you need to worry about your daughter, she is obviously happy to dress they way she prefers, it is quite normal. Some girls just don't like skirts and all that frilly stuff, some grow out of it and some are happy to remain the same. I was never a girlie, girl myself, I am not now either, I don't feel comfortable wearing skirts, I much prefer wearing trousers, jeans (pants), although I will wear one in the summer when its too hot for my skin. I wouldn't try to encourage her to act or dress a certain way, let her find her own personal identity in her own time. I'm sure you'll be proud of her no matter what she chooses to wear.

I dont think you have anything to worry about. she will soon become girly when she is older and becomes interested in boys! For now she is happy in trousers/pants - for one they are much easier to run around in and play than skirts. You may even find that this is just a phase - next year she may want skirts. I remember that I used to wear jeans all the time then one day when I was 10 I decided jeans were for boys and I would only wear skirts. I soon grew out of this and went to wearing both as most girls do. Perhaps you could encourage her to wear skirts/dresses for special occasions and trousers for playing in. Although I dont think you should push the issue as it could upset her and you and blow it out of all proportion. As long as she is happy then I dont really think it is too much of a problem. Many tom boys grow up to be beautiful young women!

Dont worry about her, she will blossom before you know it. I was the biggest tomboy when i was a kid. Use to fight my brothers for their toys, and try to stick them with Barbie. she is only 5, let her decide what she wants to wear, it probably makes her feel grown-up to make her own decisions.