How do you stop the teasing when your child has no control over it?

It may sound rude, but I honestly think that when kids pick on other kids, it's because they are jealous. You mentioned that a kid called her a midget. She really shouldn't let it bother her. She should look at everything from the good side. I know that is hard for a child to do but, maybe if you explained to her some good things about being short, it might make her feel better. Example: Being short, you won't hit your head as much as a tall person. Little things liket hat are a great way to help kids deal with being picked on.

Oh I'm so sorry, that is sad. I know I was quite short until I hit highschool, I was the shortest one in my class, and everyone called me shorty, but it wasn't in a mean-way, it was just my nickname. My heart breaks for your little girl though, some kids can be so cruel. THere really isn't much that you can do for her, unless you are willing to pull her out of shcool and homeschool her, but even then, I fear you would be sending her a mixed message. I think the best course of action would be to help her find a few really goodfriends. Friends can help you through anything sometimes, and you don't need a lot of them, just a few good ones. Help her by setting up a "play date" (yes, I know, she's too old for a play date) or one on one time with a few girls that she chooses, have them do something fun, maybe even a sleepover. The more time she spends developing these friendships, with girls that you BOTH like, the better off she will be in the end. Junior High/high school is hard on teens, they are constantly confronted with peer pressure, not only to do things we may not want them to, but also to fit into the 'box' society has set for them. Encourage your daughter by telling her we are all different, and God made us that way. (I don't know about your beliefs, so I'll generalize it) The way I look at it, God designed her that way for a reason, it wasn't by accident, and she should not be ashamed. Yes, she may grow more, but even if she doesn't she should know it's not a defect. GOod luck to you and your little girl!

You are 100% right... Kids can be so mean- All kids.. It is so hard as parents when our kids come home crying over something some other kid said. You are doing the right thing.. Teaching her that it is ok to be small- giving her the pep talk- giving her a shoulder to cry on. It is so hard.. I know-- My daughter gets picked on from time to time... Over silly things- She isn't as good as some of the better girls at basketball-- She struggles with Math so at times some of the kids in her class call her dumb! or say that's so dumb.. I just keep building up my daughters self-esteem.. I tell her all the time that she is a great kid. I hope that by building up her self-esteem-- it will outweigh the bully type kids and their picking. By all means- tell your daughter that all children get picked on at some point..It will be ok.. And for you mom- Keep your chin up-- it'll get better!

That's so sad to hear. I know they say kids can be cruel but I guess you never really fully understand how mean it is until it affects you or your kids. Does she have any other friends that she could play with instead? Or could she play with her sisters maybe? I hope this gets better for your daughter. Kids should be enjoying their childhood without having to battle other kids at every turn.

I'm so sorry for your daughter. My eldest daughter is also a little short for her age. She is turning 9 by the end of this year and stands only 3'11 while all her classmates are 4' and above. But she didn't mind about it at all. She may lack the height but she got the brain. Sometimes, kids can't understand yet that teasing other kids are bad. Your daughter might be late in her physical development. But try to extend your patience more and to keep reminding her that she's special. I once was a chubby little girl. And my classmates always teased me about it. I admit I was a little hurt by all of their teasing. But I showed to all of them that I may be chubby, but I got the talents they don't have. I joined our school cheerdancing team and was able to show one side of my personality and talent. From then on, everybody had nothing but praise for me. I even landed captain of our cheerdancing team. Let your daughter continue to explore her talent.

Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. My middle child, my son Michal, is 11 years old. He, too, gets teased for his size. My 8 year old daugher is the same size as him. My family all ran down to the store a few minutes ago. In the store, a lady came up and started talking to my husband and I about our beautiful family. She proceeded to talk to my kids. She looked at my daughter, who is obviously the youngest, and said, "My, you are going to pass up your brother pretty soon!" Of course, that made my daughter smile but my son was not so impressed. He just gave me the look. You know the look. It is the one that says, "Why? He comes home from school, a private Christian school, daily in tears from people calling him "shorty" on the bus. He will do anything to make a friend and even more to keep one. I hate him feeling so bad all the time. I just hope and pray that people will realize how great of a child he is and look at themselves in the mirror for a change. Recently, Michael is just coming to the realization that people that tease him don't feel confident in themselves. He realizes that people who are self confident don't need to feel better by teasing others. He realizes that now, but it still hurts! Good luck to you and your child.

I would talk to the school again...and if its the same kids bugging your girl time after time or if there are certain kids that harrass her more often than others I would tell the prinicipal who they are...Just "telling" the school more often than not I've found doenst do a damn thing, but demanding results or your goin to go over their heads etc, being firm wiht them and so on and letting them kow that having nothing done about it is unacceptable is the way to go IMO....Many ppl think that "oh kids will be kids" and so on but I know from experience with my two kids that constant teasign etc has long term affects and it IS damaging and as parents we shouldnt accept it..Its up to us to back our kids up and take care of biz see what I'm saying?

Oh Tricia I feel so bad for you. I know it must be heart breaking to see her come home so sad. I have a 9 year old daughter and we have been lucky so far but I know there is heartache to come. I've told her that sometimes girls can be cruel (more so then boys) and that you just have to learn to laugh at yourself too and if they realize it doesn't bother you then maybe they will stop. I know as a mother you feel her pain and you are right we always want to make their boo boos go away but sometimes it is out of our control. I have an 18 year old son and I've been very very lucky with him and had no problems. But my daughter is 9 and I just pray I can get through the next 10 years with her. I know there will be breakups, teasing, etc... I just hope she is strong enough to get through it. I guess all we can do is mothers is talk to them and make sure we boost their self-esteem every chance we get. Good Luck.

Awwww .... I feel so badly for both you and your daughter as this type of thing is very hard to deal with while we are growing up. You are doing all that you can do and there just is not anything else that you can do but comfort her as you have been. I would probably wind up crying as my eyes are already welling up with tears just reading your post. Just let her know that pretty soon all children mature and that they will stop the teasing as soon as they realize just how wrong they really are! Good Luck and God Bless!

Teasing often begins around the age of 4 or 5, when kids become aware of differences in others. Kids tease for different reasons; sometimes it is caused only by curiosity where kids wonder out loud why someone is different. Other times, kids have a longing to be the same as everyone, and having any difference signifies vulnerability. Parents and providers can help to minimize, if not eliminate, teasing by talking with kids before and/or when someone has a difference, and then talking through it. Kids may tease another for wearing glasses, when in truth they simply don't understand what they do or why they are needed. The same holds true for braces, headgear, expanders, or other types of orthodontic gear. A recommended step is to introduce what is different in circle time or in a group setting and let kids ask questions and help them to better understand.

Oh Dear. That takes me back to when I was a child. Nearly all my school days kids made fun of me. I was small and thin, wore glasss and my last name rhymed with "tomter". Then in high school some boys teased me and called me "Oswald" because I was smart enough in English class to catch on that if I read the books the teacher wanted I got good book report grades. The boys didn't. I finally learned not to take them seriously.Being very shy it was hard for me but when I auditioned for the Junior Play and got the major character role, the gys quit bugging me. Later these same guys would yell "Hi" to me across the golf course when I played with my parents. "Rolling with the punches" and learning to laugh at myself seemed to help me.

My heart breaks for your daughter. What a horrible time she's having. I've watched that "Little People, Big World" show so many times. It's very inspirational and shows just what small people can really do. I know that you don't want to see her keep hurting and I understand. Maybe it would be possible for her school to step in and have a talk to the kids that are making her life such a misery? Its not fair that your daughter has to suffer through all this. Her height is not her fault, and there's nothing she can do to control it. Other kids would do well to remember that next time they think about calling her names. They say kids are the cruelest and they are. Every single time!

If she has a medical reason behind her being so small you could go to the school and educate the other children about it. Maybe you could put together a presentation and give it at her school explaining why she is the way she is. It might stop some of the teasing. Have you spoke with the coach or physical education teacher about this?

I know how you feel, but you know what, i admire your love for your daughter, i admire that you feel for your daughter, its nice to know that some parents are like you. I was also being teased at when i was young because i was because i was fat and ugly i couldn't bear it, everyday, more and more people in my class feast at my ugliness, and there came a time when i wanted to explode or set the school on fire because of all these resentments, gladly i didnt.. i just wrote a letter to my mom, telling her everything that i felt with my school, and i told her i dont wanna go to school anymore because i cant bear the pain anymore, and instead of hugging me she scolded me. She got mad at me for submitting to what people say about me, she scolded me more and told me that i shouldnt care what people say about me, she told me that i should let other affect me most of all my studies, she scolded me for being weak, which i was. and i was so devastated after that. Some people would stand up and stop crying and take my moms advice to be strong- but given my circumstance- i was already drained of all strength, i was so down and weak, that part i think my mom didnt understand. For some people that kind of treatment would do really good as it would pose a challenge to them, it just doesnt work like that for me- if im as sensitive as your daughter- i think you should just go on and love your daughters more, make them feel special, give them praises and affirmations, to boost their self confidence, try doing what my mom did- just dont scold or tell it to them in an angry way, tell it to her in a soft spoken caring way and assure her that whatever happens you will always be there for them.

Well, whenever someone bullies or talk badly about my kids I go and confront them and tell them not to do it because it's wrong..I sometimes tell them that I will report them to the principal office so they'll get a record...Anyways,If you are in the US I know you'll get charged child abuse if you do that...Anyways, why not invite this kids one by one in your home and try to convince them to play together..like pretend you want to play with both of them and then when things are getting along well give them space to play alone. Better yet tell your kid to practice more so when they see her play they will be astounded..Tell her that sticks and stones will break her bones but words can never hurt her. Tell her not to show the other girls she's affected or else they'll keep teasing her..tell her once they see you are not affected they'll stop eventually...Let them tire of it..Hope this helps.

Kids tease her because they get a reaction from her: they tease, she cries. If she can be strong enough not to cry, to learn to say, "Good things come in small packages," with an enigmatic smile and then walk away, the kids will get tired of it and stop teasing. Or she can confront the children who are calling her names, tell them their comment hurt her feelings and how would they feel if she called them Stretch, Fatty, Bucky Beaver or some other name ridiculing one of their less attractive physical traits. Eventually, if you can keep her self esteem up, the kids will start seeing her for the unique individual she is and not as an oddity to be tortured.

My youngest daughter also had some issue's with kids at school. I can only tell you the things I did to help her. 1. I ask her to look around one day at school and notice that just about everyone gets picked on for something. Their name,their hair,their cloths, their school work, and some stuff just made up. 2. I always pointed out to her that she is smart, beautiful and able to do anything she wants. 3. And I broke out the old school books and was able to point out the people that had made fun of me for different reason's And I was delighted to tell her that the school years aren't forever by also pointing out what these same people looked like now. The ones that made fun of my weight. Now Fat, The ones that made fun of my grades never made it to collage We do live in a small town so I was able to introduce her to a few. As far as sports go She may have to prove herself; such is the world. Even if it means Mom has to get out and practice with her. Once kids see she can kick butt she is in. Plus I think there are leagues that everyone and everyone plays They are cheap or free.

I was in baskitball when I was 10. But I was the shortest girl on the team and I was TERRIBLE at the sport. Did I hate baskitball? I still love it! Did I give up trying to play after? kinda. I KNOW what its like to be teased and bullied. I know cause for 2 years 6th through 7th grade for reasons I still dont know I was the target of the teasing in school. My mom didnt know what to do either. I was crying EVERY day after school in the 7th grade. My parents did the BEST thing they could. They pulled me from public school and I went to private school 8th grade through graduation. BEST thing ever for me and my sister (3 years younger). Just to let you know. Personally. I DONT think I am STRONGER cause of the picking on but weaker. It only helped to more deeply influence me to have low self esteem. Not to mention being self consciness. I have dirty nails that will GET dirt in them WITHIN SECONDS of cleaning them. However, in the 6th grade they picked on me claiming I had dirty nails cause I "picked my nose" Now a days I HAVE to keep my nails clean constantly cleaning them with toothpicks. Its just NOT fun. So yeah I know whats it like and its not fun. Just do your best, comfort them, and when you cant figure anything else out do what you feel is best for everyone around you.

I too lately have had a similar problem.My oldest son which is 8 is very small for his age.He still wears a size 6 slim at 8 yrs old.The teacher pulled me aside yesterday and told me that Sean(my boy) wasn't going to be able to play at resess tomorrow because he hurt a little girl. She also said he wouldn't tell her why and neither would the little girl but she didn't get introuble. He told me what had happened and at first I didn't know what to say. Later at dinner we talked about it.The girl who was teasing him was calling him shorty and making fun of him infront of the whole class while the teacher stepped out and he said he told her that she was mean and to not talk to him but she kept doing it anyways so he grabbed her by the neck and shoved her away. He started crying while he was telling me this so I knew it really just hurt his feeling to even tell me what had happened and understood why he didn't tell his teacher. I told her what Sean had told me and he still had to sit out after lunch on the bench and watch everybody else play including that girl. So the next day I told his teacher if she is only going to punish for what she hears,like a one sided story with no facts then maybe she should learn some new methods of discipline.Yes she was not happy about it but it's true. There seem to be a lot of teachers not doing enough. This was the third time he had been introuble for the same thing with these same two girls that maily pick on him. He is the shortest in class but is one of the brightest too.I try to point that out to him to make him feel better with great rewards for good grades and home chores but he's a softy. I finally decided to talk to the princible about it and he agreed that this specific teacher was not watching her class enough for the kind of punishments she is handing out.Things are looking better but no matter what teacher or where we are there will always be cruel people. This is a hard concelt for a child to learn, but they can learn it. I put him in sunday school at a church where some of his friends go to where there are other small children like him and he ishaving the time of his life. He get's to see other children his age who are also small like him but don't care.Sometimes the more he's involved in things the easier it is for him to let go of all the negativity. Plus now that his dad told him those girls are only picking on you because they like you but that is the only way they know how to show they are interested in you his by picking on you he's lightned up a bit. Of course now when they are mean he tells them eww you like me get away I don't want a gf..That has seemed to close their mouth more. I hate hearing about children being so cruel like that to other children.You are right about small people big world. It's a great show for people to get their minds more open and stop beinf so closed minded and mean.