Do you think basic manners should be taught in the schools or home?
By Bee1955
@Bee1955 (3882)
United States
February 27, 2007 10:10pm CST
I overheard a lady in the library the other day ranting about how her child is ignorant of using manners because he is so disrespectful at home. Then she blamed the child's school for "not doing their job".
STOP! I mean, COME ON! What was this parent doing with the kid all the time while between the ages of 0 to 6? Think back to when you were a young child, didnt you say Thank you and Please and Excuse me? Didnt you know how to sit at a table correctly, address your grandparents and other adults properly BEFORE kindergarten?What is with parents today? Dont they know the basics are to exhibted and taught in the home? Or are they too busy with their own lives they dont care and "let the schools do it" is their new motto?What do you think?
24 people like this
115 responses
@LindaLou (483)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
I agree. That's outrageous. Manners are the parents' responsibility not the teachers'. Why do some parents think that schools are responsible for everything? They are not and it is impossible with all of the tax cutbacks. They can barely afford to teach the basics of academics, let alone how to socialize your kid!
6 people like this
@mandachow (186)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 07
No...parents are also have the responsibility to teach their children.
3 people like this
@yoongkheong (139)
• Singapore
28 Feb 07
Manners, moral responsiblities and integrity are to be taught by the parents. Teachers should only be role models to students.
I fully understand what you've described. Some parents complain that teachers don't teach manners, and then they complain the teachers for scolding their children. Poor teachers. That's why young teachers don't stay in their job for too long a time.
Yoong Kheong
http://www.wecaretuition.com
http://www.whyhireatutor.com
5 people like this
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Children will act out the way they are being taught at home. It is the parents place to teach manners and respect. They should be an example so the child will see first handed how to act. Seems everyone is looking for someone else to blame for their mistakes. Children learn from example.They learn imulate what they see at home
4 people like this
@HolyMosesMalone (415)
• United States
28 Feb 07
basic manners should be taught to kids at any point they can be taught, so i guess i mean they should be taught at both home and school.
@sappho99336 (354)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I think the schools' jobs are just that much harder when the parents don't do their jobs. I actually think manners should be taught both at school and home. However, it really starts at home, before the kids even start school. Certainly a parent shouldn't be blaming the school if her child is rude.
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Definitly it is the parents job and responsibility to teach their child manners. I have seen this so many times. It's sad and is leading to the downfall of our society because of a lack of respect for others. Teaching children needs to begin at home and at an early age...as soon as a child starts walking and talking. I did teach my children manners and am happy to say they use them. Also, kids learn by the examples set for them. These people that just let their kids run wild and then blame others shouldn't be allowed to be parents. That's just my opinion.
4 people like this
@spiritwolf52 (2300)
•
28 Feb 07
It seems the parents don't want to take the responsibility of raising their kids the proper way. Manners were drilled into my head when I was growing up. We didn't even think of calling an elder by their given name. At that age, an elder is any grown up. Parents seem too much in wanting to be their kids friend.
2 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
From childbirth until school age, kids are parents' sole responsibility. This is why parents are tagged as the child's first teachers. When they are attending school, some parents may find it to their dismay when they notice that their children has been acting differently.
I have had a bad encounter on the way school affects a child's attitude. A friend brought me along with her when she fetched her son. It was supposedly the best school in town. Upon reaching the classroom, we saw two kids engaged in a brawl. She reported this to the teacher believing that the teacher was too busy to have noticed it. To our surprise, the teacher replied, 'Oh, these children, they're giving me headaches, let them fight if they want to.' There goes the reason why her son became good at picking fights when he started attending school. The following school year, she enrolled her child in another school.
We, parents, expect that everything we have taught our children at home will be enhanced in the schools. They claim to be teaching, among others, good manners and right conduct. I wonder where the right conduct in the teacher lies when she uttered those words.
@mememama (3076)
• United States
28 Feb 07
The child should learn these things from his/her parents, not school, but the child should still behave this way at school. My son is 18 months and learning how to say please, that shows that a kid can learn early! A schools job is to teach a child things like reading, math, etc and the parents should continue to brush up on these subjects at home. My late uncle was a teacher, I know he was sick of being thought of as a babysitter.
2 people like this
@DeSquallie (88)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
I believe that the child should learn from their parents at home. Children in school can learn the basic skills of academics and other skills such as socializing. Manners differ from each family and you wouldn't want to see your child doing manners that you see wrong. From a child's point of view, manners learned from school is correct but you tell him it is wrong. This will make him confused of right and wrong, yet they still hear that school is right. The best way for the child to learn manners and his/her culture is at home taught none other by their parents.
2 people like this
@chokolate (123)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Respect and manners are to be taught at home. If they are taught at home,the will be prepared for what is expected of them at school. My children are 17 and 15 and they are very respectful.I am a single mother and I think I have done a wonderful job.
2 people like this
@pooweasel719 (49)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I think too many parents nowadays are passing their children off as everyone's responsibility but their own. I definitely think manners should begin and be taught at home. I also think that they should be reinforced at school, church, daycare, the library, etc. Please and thank you, yes sir/ma'am and no sir/ma'am are so rarely heard anymore. Teachers and caregivers cannot and should not take the place of parents as far as instilling morals (which I believe includes good manners) in a child. And if the manners are regularly and consistently used in the home, you don't even have to "teach" your child to be polite. They pick up on it naturally, and the more you as a parent use proper manners, the more likely your child is going to pick up on your habits.
2 people like this
@danabfunny (100)
• United States
28 Feb 07
You hit this topic right on the money!
GOOD JOB!
1 person likes this
@desimanero (419)
• United States
28 Feb 07
no i dont think its another persons responsibilty to keep your child in thier place.Im a young parent...VERY YOUNG!!Im 23 with an 8 yr old and a 2 yr old and i refuse to let my kids run my life!!!My daughter is the most respectful kid i have ever seen...SERIOUSLY!!!I taught her since she was a baby and im still working with her.The way your kids act is how people look at YOU.Honestly i think it is so embarrasing when a child is telling their parents what to do in public.I see some of these kids and i get embarrassed for their parents.My daughters only 8 and she knows in order to be successful in life you need to go to school and respect everyone who crosses your path.And not just go to school but watch listen and learn.Its hard work but its worth it in the end cuz in the end you have this bright respectful and successful kid that makes you smile
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I did and still do use those words. I don't rememebr who taught me, my parents or the school. I probably just picked it up from around home. My friend tries to teach her kids and she is doing a pretty good job at it. they say thank you to me and sometimes without ehr reminding them. It is definatly up to the parents more then the schools to teach manners.
2 people like this
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
28 Feb 07
What nerve. Sheesh. I guess no one wants to be responsible for their own kids anymore. They try to foist the blame onto others and keep themselves out of it. I learned everything from family and friends. They influenced all of us kids, and tried to all teach us the good things. I remember even learning from our neighbors down the street. One of them is so close to my family, we talk to them even now, after we have all moved away, and she used to be such a good role model, because she did not have daughters, only sons, and liked to teach us the things that she learned in life. I learned how to make good Italian dinners from her, actually. The community has to really work together. But, because society believes in separatism, that is not always possible. And, so, some people just believe that they can blame the schools, instead of themselves. I'm sorry, there things that public schools just cannot be blamed for...
1 person likes this
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yeah, lol. That is how it was here too. And, that is sad that a lot of parents are not teaching their kids the same. They end up going their entire lives without learning anything. Because it is not for schools to be teaching these types of things...they can barely teach the students the subjects they are supposed to know.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
28 Feb 07
I believe that manners should be taught at home and reinforced at school. My mother started teaching me manners so early that I don't even remember learning a lot of them, but I knew them.
I do, however, remember learning table manners and my mother was very particular about such things. Chew with your mouth closed, (no smacking)no elbows on the table, do not scape you fork against your teeth, don't talk with your mouth full, and always say grace.
I remember one time my older sister was eating an apple and she took about three bites out of the apple before chewing the first one up, my mother was noticably annoyed and I don't think my sister ever did that again.
My mother wasn't the mean type, but when she meant business you knew it. She would always gently remind us of our manners. I remember her saying many times how she got tired of saying the same thing over and over again.
@bananamanuk (835)
•
28 Feb 07
Basic manners should always start at home and with the parents and family and should be reinforced through schooling and lessons. I also think that teachers should be supported by parents when the child has done something wrong and been disciplined for it rather than the parents trying to sue the teacher or blaming the school.
2 people like this
@nowment (1757)
• United States
1 Mar 07
To often it is let someone else do it, or passing the buck.
Basically it comes down to parents should take responsiblity for their own children once a child reaches majority and then the children are no longer that, so they are responsible for their own actions.
My cousin could take her 3 year old into the fanciest restaurants because she knew he would behave himself, why because he was taught table manners and common courtesy and how to behave from the earliest age.
My mother was complimented on our behavior since we were young because my mother took the time to teach us how to treat others, and to behave.
At one point because we had been taught how to behave well, my sister went to the hospital with my mom, and they tried to get my sister to admit my mother, it took a while for them to accept that she was not 18 but rather an 11 year old child.
It is sad but true that people will blame everyone else for what is wrong.
There was a story of a woman who sued a furniture store in the midwest, and got millions, the reason for her suing the store is because there was an unruly 2 year old running wild around the store, unsupervised, because of this the woman tripped fell broke her leg, and sued the store they had to pay her medical bills, and got compensation for her emotional distress over the incident.
The reason I think the jury should have ruled in favor of the store rather than the woman with the broken leg, is because the the woman with the broken leg was the mother of the hellion, who broke her leg.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I have noticed that more and more parents are blaming the schools for the way their kids turned out,instead of taking responsibilty.I do believe that schools should have a small part in teaching manners but it should mainly be up to the parents.the parents are the ones that are supposed to be responsible,not the teachers.I think some kids have no manners because their parents have no manners.
@chokolate (123)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Respect and manners are to be taught at home. If they are taught at home,the will bw prepared for what is expected at school. My children are 17 and 15 and they are very respectful.I am a single mother and I think I have done a wonderful job.