Do you think he's cheating?
By fieryfrost
@fieryfrost (316)
Philippines
February 28, 2007 11:43pm CST
I was talking to a friend, let's give her the name Anna for the purposes of discussion, married and has 2 beautiful daughters aged 2 1/2 and the other is 4 months. Her husband is working in a different province (just like different state) during the weekdays and goes home every weekend. Anyway, when we settled down to eat, she started crying and I was surprised. I asked her what's wrong and she said, she feels that her husband is cheating on her. I said, don't jump into anything first, I asked her what her proof was and she told me the story. She said, last week her phone rang and it was her husband, her husband kept on asking "where are you?", she then responded..."hello? John (husband's name)?Hello?", it seemed that her husband can't hear her...he continued.."Where are you? Who's using your phone?" then my friend said "Hello John? This is Anna. Hello?". Still the connection wasn't that good...her husband continued..."Hello PEARL...Where are you? Who's using your phone?", my friend got shocked! She replied..."John, this is Anna!", then her husband turned off the phone immediately! She texted him asking who Pearl was and he avoided the question and even got mad at my friend for asking him this. Anyway, I was shocked when I heard about this. I told her to investigate more and not to get too emotional with everything. I told her to surprise him 1 day and all that. But as for you, do you think he's cheating?
4 people like this
8 responses
@sandgroper1 (629)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
If i was her i would leave the kids with someone for a few days and then SURPRISE the hubby mid week. If he is messing around hopefully she may catch him in the act (otherwise she could always snoop around where he lives) I have no idea if he's cheating but it definetly sounds strange and needs to be investigated further. Personally i would be surprising him and talking to him about it. hopefully it works ok, goodluck
2 people like this
@fieryfrost (316)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Thanks for the response. Yes, my family and I are willing to take the kids in for them. I am also praying for her. She's been through a lot with him, what can I say she really loves him.
@MissMo (170)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I don't think that is enough to automatically assume he's cheating, but it is rather shady of him. What makes it worse is that he avoided her question. Perhaps Pearl is a business associate he was meating for lunch or something? Or perhaps he said Earl? haha. Yeah, she needs a bit more information, because this isn't enough to go on. Best of luck to her.
2 people like this
@fieryfrost (316)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. LOL Earl! Ohhh right, that's possible =) I'll try to speak to her about this, that maybe he's talking to an Earl not a Pearl!
@SouthernRain (59)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I would say she needs more than one instance on a staticky phone to be convinced he's cheating. It might not have been him, only someone who sounded like him, unless of course the caller id was working properly. She should be able to tell when he comes home again whether he acts different. I hope everything works out.
2 people like this
@fieryfrost (316)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Thank you for the response. They were actually using their cellphones and the caller id was working properly. She doesn't usually answer her phone when an unknown number calls her. Thank you and I too hope for the best.
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
For me it is hard to say that Anna's husband is cheating based on that phonecall. Pearl could have been anybody from work or a maid or an assistant. But I would advice that Anna should be observant at this point. My father travels a lot and stays more in the site of his work than our family as he is an engineer, he confessed to us that he got one girl pregnant and there were really no clues before to lead us to believe that he is having an affair. So you will never know. It is said that a woman's instinct is sharp so Anna should trust her instinct. I would advice her that she should not let her husband to believe that she is suspecting an affair.Do not bombard John with questions and accusations at this point.Act naturally as men would lower their defenses if they know the girl is not suspecting anything. If a man lowers his defenses a he is more prone to commit mistakes and be caught. Watch for signs like John being secretive or talking in whispers with another person on the phone....etc bottomline is watch for actions that he don't usually do before but does them now.
1 person likes this
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
When she has gathered concrete proofs of the affair then that would be the time to confront him. That is the time he can no longer deny it because you have proofs. Just a word of caution, though a woman's instinct is sharp it is not enough...don't let paranoia get into Anna if there really is nothing happening.
1 person likes this
@fatal_ivory (238)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Same thing happened to me with my ex-boyfriend. I recieved a call from him. And when I answered it, he calls me in a different name. I know for sure that it was not me who he wants to call. I was so disappointed. What was more hurting is that the name that he call me is the name of his ex whom he was having a relationship even we have our relationship still going on. He lied to me. And that nakes the end of our relationship.
As for your friend, if she really feels something is going on to her husband. Better investigate. Gather enough proof to prove your contention. It is not easy to do that because it is painful but you have to do it. Woman's instinct has really something to say. Never ignore it but don't just rely solely on it. Tell her to ask his husband about that without looking too obvious that she is confronting him. Always be calm when talking about that issue to your partner. Distance is really an obstacle for partners but you have to be strong enough to handle this situation. Just consider the welfare of your children and everything will fall to its place.
@desimanero (419)
• United States
2 Mar 07
ive been forever traumatized bcuz of a cheating ex and bcuz of that i would say....yes...especially cuz he avoided her question and he was quick to get angry.One thing i always noticed about my ex is when i would find out something and confront him he would get really mad!!
1 person likes this
@Sarguis (14)
• Nigeria
2 Mar 07
You and you friend should not conclude yet till you see the evidence to prove it. as form me it is natural with men that doesn't live with their wife constantly due to work or any other thing. Let that not bother her to much, she have to put her husband in prayers and GOd will keep him for her
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
1 Mar 07
It does sound very suspicious but there isn't enough evidence to proove it yet.
I think she needs to talk to him honestly about it first. Give him the chance to explain. If she isn't satisfied with his answers then she should look into it further.
1 person likes this
