Doing The Dirty

You have to be realistic here. If you're being abused, manipulated, hurt, cheated on or lied to then it's time to get out! If you think someone is going to try to stop you and cause you even more stress you ARE NOT being a coward or Doing The Dirty for getting out before your partner, friend, housemate came home to found you packing. You have to put yourself first, its called self preservation, Protection of oneself from harm or destruction. Self-preservation is the first law of nature. Think about the future you're creating if you stay. If your partner is jealous, obsessive, possessive or overly emotional, consider the extra burden you are carrying all the time while staying and in dealing with those behaviours. Its not good for you or your health. If someone was putting me through mental abuse, feeling controlled, manipulated or stopping me from being able to live the life I want to live, i wouldn't think twice in escaping and disappearing. Even if I did leave them in dire straits. As they were the ones who hurt me and made me leave so they are the ones responsible for putting themselves in that way. Not me.

I couldn't myself. So people just get carried away with moments but I honestly say this is something which I would never do. My wife my world. Our son's the joy and we're just crazy but no one else is seen in the same way as I see my wife. This isn't young love speaking either, even when I've been with previous parts. well just the two I never thought about it =) Kudos, ~Joey

my partner and myself made a decision years ago that whatever we had to face in life, we had to face it together. Even if it would be easier to walk away we bonded to such an extent i doubt we would ever face anything alone. We both faced and beat cancer together, we both faced others trying to part us, we both faced debt together. I will never walk away. We made a commitment in the eyes of god and this remains intact for life

I typed out a lengthy reply to this discussion and it disappeared with one of the "runtime errors" that keep happening here tonight. I'll try again. First of all, if you are in a relationship with someone who is physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing you, then they have forfeited all rights to a decent departure. If you have the courage to leave now, then do it. Don't stay and try to talk about it; as you said, it will only lead to arguments that could turn ugly, violent, and dangerous. Do what you need to do to stay safe and to get out of this unhealthy situation. If that means packing your bags and having your partner come home to an empty closet and a note, then that's what you do. Leaving this person in dire straits is NOT your problem. How do they think you have felt living like this for so long? You deserve to be happy. A controlling and manipulative partner is not really a partner; they will suffocate you until you have no sense of self-worth at all. Take this opportunity, while you're feeling confident, to leave and start over. There is so much more to life, and you will find it if you have the courage to. Leaving is not cowardly; staying would be. Good Luck.

I am happy and can't see myself just leaving i feel blessed to be loved by my children and husband! The joy of a really happpy relashionsip doesn't stop me from knowing if i wasn't happy being abused phyically or mentally i would have to go, violence is never the answer in a relationship, i would take my children with me and try to build a happy future maybe alone or maybe not no one knows the future you can't turn the clock back or forget but i would try to look on the positives if it was me

I relocated (ran away) but I told certain people were I went so they would not be worried. The people I did not want to find out did. They called a Family member and they portrayed themself like a friend. It was wrong of them to do that and it was wrong of the Family Member to give out information. This guy is now stalking me and begging me to take him back and move in with him. I am happy living with a relative it is not the ideal life but it is a SAFE life for me to put my life in order and build a future. I am ok without a partner in my life now. At least I am safe from the emotional roller coaster and emotional and physical abuse.

I personally could never do that. The only thing that would make me do that would be physical abuse...otherwise I think that is the cowards way out. You need to at least tell the other person why you are leaving...

No Wolfie I could not. I don't know how People can do it as it is the most terrible thing to put someone through. The only way I could ever do that would be if I was Physically abused and would have to hide but then it would only be from the Person that is inflicting this on me.

I have done this before. When talking doesn't solve anything... and it always just ends up in a violent screaming match, sometimes you just have to pack up and leave... I'd hate to have to do that again, but I have.

If leaving meant my safety Heck yes- I'd go! If you're in danger or being abused-- you have every right to get out.. its more important than leaving someone high and dry.. I'm thankful I've never been in that situation. I live with a wonerful man--- Sure he drives me crazy at times.. As I drive him crazy too. But in all honesty I think everyone has thought at least once-- I wish I could just pack up and move-- Change my name.. move far away-- leave all my troubles behind- Thats why I play lottery every week... A dollar and a dream!

no i wouldnt just sneak out to get away. i would leave after i told them and i would also explain the reason for me wanting to leave. i think thats more appropriate

you need to do what is best 4 u. there are differences between a housemate and a wife or girlfriend. commiment. good luck

i know i could never do that unless they were extreme circumstances. By extreme, i mean EXTREME!!!!!!!!

Honestly, I wouldn't let life get that bad to start with. If I had a problem with something I'd want to ask my partner, housemate or friend for their opinion and advice and see if they could help me at all. I suffered domestic abuse and mental abuse for quite a while at the hands of my ex partner. When he tried to kill me that was the final straw and I told him so. I called the relationship off, and I packed and left the next day. I wouldn't ever let it get that bad. Bad feeling fester over time and things get heated. Thats just not worth the hassle. Getting things out in the open and dealing with them is so much better than just running away.

There's been a lot of times in my life where I've just wanted to dissappear, but I've never left anybody in the situation you're talking about. No matter how bad a relationship is I think we owe it to another person to at least give them the respect of telling them about a decision we're going to make if it has a direct impact on their life.

If someone wants to leave another person, than they should be grown about it, and tell them up front. Everything we do in life has consequences, and grownups must deal with these consequences. The only scenario where it would be okay would be if that person felt that they were in danger from the other person.

I'm currently behaving in a kind of runaway stile. I'm behaving in a way that is certainly causing pain to the person I'm leaving alone in a moment of need (my father); I'm doing it and I'm suffering very very much for my actions, for my behaviour. I perfectly know that the way I am, now comes out of years of serious and dramatic troubles I had with him in the past, and form the only way I found which could help me out: to cut any contact with him. By denying him my presence in amoment of need, I'm runnig away from him, but at the same time getting closer through letters I post every few days (I leave abroad from his city). So the situation is a bit inverted here, I'm running a way and getting closer at the same time. And I feel really down, also because I feel an inredible inner compulsion to do it this way