just a little rant about mylot friends,discussions,responces and deleting friend

Hi,yvonne:) I try replying to all discussions my friends post.I think this is the first I got after knowing you and here I am dutifully:-P Anyway,jokes apart.I always reply to ones I can relate to and will continue doing so.I have not deleted any friends on my list and doubt that I would in recent future.I haven't started many discussions,only a handful and it's okay if my friends don't like some discussion I post.I can understand it coz sometimes it happens to me too.I feel happy when I get to hear from them and if they don't then I keep popping up in their discussions ,lol.Just kidding.I think this discussion will pull in many replies ,lol.

Hello yvonne, I just accepted you as my friend. If you check on my profile, you'll see that I'm one of those members who have posted a discussion about deleting some of my own friend's list. You have a point in ranting about those things...I'm not offended seriously. But the fact is that I've been with mylot for a month now. I always check on the activites of my friends. Some members will vouch just how supportive I can be with them. No matter how irrelevant their topics are, I will still raccckkk my brain just to come up with a sensible response. For the whole one month, some of them are just an avatar without any movement or anything. They are just that, simply an avatar. I will not just quickly delete some friends for no reason at all. I have been in close contact with some of them exchanging private messages. I hope you understand my point here. I will still accept you as one of my friends.

I also don't understand. We should answer each other however life happens and we need patience. Too many want to mark a best response within hours or a day. Those of us with lives don't work that quick. I hope to see my friends and I do what I can for mine. I appreciate you giving me a snapshot so that I know that maybe it will be in a little time if you have something to say. I like to be kept updated! Thanks for expressing this. Should be no misunderstandings now! Take care!

I know just what you mean. My real life is getting busier by the day and I have less and less time to come on the site. I see my friends as a group that share my interests and I like to talk with when the opportunity is there. It's silly to expect that everyone on your friends list can or will respond to everything you post. i personally tend to dip in and out of subjects, replying to anything that ccatches my eye, or I think I can contribute to. I obviously make more effort to respond to my friends, but hope they understand that time limitations mean I can't respond to even half of the stuff that goes on here.

I agree with your assessments. One other point. The interests of each friends are varied, just as my interests are varied. I will probably have common interest in only one or two areas. So, if I'm not interesed in the particular TV show or music type which they have posted on, then I will probably not reply. It is not that I am less of a friend. I'm just not interested in that topic. But when they post on a subject we have in common, and probably the reason for us to be friends, then I will reply.

i agree with u,there r many times that people have their own engagements or problems which makes them not replying soon enough.i usually try to respond to my all friends but only when i have got something to say on their topics otherwise i just don't..! after all it's not good to reply only for replying's sake:) as for my friends i see that only few of them r really interested in replying to my posts but that's another thing i guess because i have posted only a few discussions and maybe they didn't find it interesting..:) i don't like deleting friends only because they r not being responsive, i believe we should keep a little patience about that matter:) by the way like i said something about problems right now i m having one myself with my connection and i m not being able to respond to many of them..hope u r not going to delete me for that!lol

I agree with you that we don't always know the circumstances of our friends and whether they can get to our discussions or not. For example, I have recently been offline for 6 to 8 weeks because of my ISP problem where I live here in Nicaragua. If I lost friends from that, so be it. They weren't much of a friend to begin with if that is the only reason they are my friends. We don't know the reasons our friends have for not promptly answering our discussions. We don't know if they have been sick, have other obligations or what. I don't sit around worrying about it. I have lots of people on my friends list and I can't get to them all everyday. If they can't accept that and don't want to be my friend, that is fine with me. I have never deleted a friend from my friend's list, except for two or three that are no longer on myLot. I want to have a happy life and I am not interested in bickering and fighting over who did or didn't answer my discussions.

I have deleted friends for the fact that they are inactive. With inactive I mean that they might not even have loggen in for 4 weeks or so. I do not accept friends on my list, unless I have seen them answered to atleast one of my post first - or hacve very good discussions that I keep coming back to. Not all people can be online all the time and answer to everything - but once is not to much to ask for. I get people wanting to be my friend and usually they have not replied to one of mine - BUT seen me answer someone elses and then I will not add them, Since I usually have 4-5 requests echday, that would just be too many friends for me since I do liek to reply to the discussions my friends started!

I couldn't agree more Yvonne. I know I certainly don't respond to every discussion my friends post, but I do read all of them. If one seems interesting to me or I feel that I have something to add, I reply. If not, I pass it by and move on to the next post. If someone wants to delete me from their list because I don't respond to every post they make, they're welcome to do so. Honestly, with the number of friends I have here, I probably won't even notice!

When it comes to friendship especially at mylot I'm not very demanding:) I understand that people have lives and complications, some have limited time online, etc but I do delete friends sometimes, I mean people can be on my list for a month and they seem to be fairly active but never answer to any of my discussions although I respond to many of theirs .. this is just not nice :( I don't expect people to answer to all of my discussions and I don't answer to all of my friends discussions but why choose friends you have nothing in common with? anyway it's nothing personal, I just try to keep my friends list short by deleting inactive and uninterested friends and also those who post trash discussions so I can be a better friend for the rest and don't miss good discussions from good friends because I can never check every new discussion started by my friends list when i have too many friends, quality over quantity applies to friends too :)

I agree that sometimes we can't respond to our friends' discussions immediately. We do have a lot of other obligations. Also, there may be too many friends starting topics at about the same time. There is also the chance that we cannot relate to the topic.

yes you are exactly right in what you are saying and i couldn't agree with you more. of course people do have a life other than living on mylot. i dont answer in the mornings or afternoons between mondays-thursdays as i am in college from 9.30am-3.30pm. thanks for putting up this discussion as the people who dont understand that will now realise hopefully :-)

It does seem like some people get all worked up over people on their friends list not answering discussions-- but I've noticed that some people (who used to post great topics) sometimes don't even LOG IN more than once every 3-4 days. I use my friends list as a STARTING POINT for what to read and comment on-- after all, they got there in the first place because they had something interesting to say-- but that doesn't mean that I am going to comment on ALL their discussions, for example when they post a disussion I neither care, nor know anything about. Whereas I can appreciate the whole "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" system, I'm ultimately on myLot to have fun and learn, not to pile a bunch of "obligations" on my head. If that makes me a bad "friend," so be it.

In my opinion, just as you will not force a friend in the real life to do something, you should not want to force them to do things here. I do not expect my friends here to reply to my discussions, if they want to they can if they do not they don't. Just as I do not answer to all of theirs. I am not going to answer to them if I do not feel I have anything to say as sometimes it is the case. I only reply to things I feel I have something to say about it, so forgive me people when I do not reply as I might like the discussion and all, but if I have nothing to say I ca not just make something up, either I am inspired or I am not about the subject. And I do not like leaving just a simple yes or no. If any of my friends added me on the base that I would respond to their discussions think again as I will only respond if I think I have something to say about it and you might have 5 discussions and I only reply to one or even none. I have all my friends on the "on" mode as I get an e-mail when they make a new discussion, I will check it and if I have something to say I do, if not I won't, it is as simple as that. I did not know the word friend worked side by side with the word slavery or anything like that. If anyone wants to add a friend solely because they want them to reply to their discussions then they should ask the person before adding them. All I know is I did not sign anything stating I am obligated to reply lol. I AGREE WITH YOU YVONNE

I think the friends list is kind of pointless. I'm sure peopelee don't actually know any of those people so how can they be called friends. It should be call the I'll add you so you can respond to my topics list. That's the only reason I can see that anyone would want to add me for the list. Is it really that big of a deal for people from your list to respond to your topics? If it's a good topic then it shouldn't matter who responds to it. Would you really want people to respond to it just because they are on your list? It's about quilty people not quntity. Just like REAL friends. I'd ratehr have great friends (which I do) then have a whole bunch of them. This has been my rant, thank you.

The topic is discussed there many times, actually. It's impossible to respond all my friend's discussions - sometimes I just don't know anything about the subject! It also seems there are many people who can spend in myLot much more time than you, or me. Just as you said, we are busy in our real life... I have also a full day job, and most of my work has be done with computer. Then I'm trying to set up my very own little internet business - it takes also much time. And there is offline private life also - my old and ill parents, my BF, my other friends, and they all very important to me. Until now I haven't deleted no one of my cyber friends, not even the one who has made only one discussion and disappeared afterwards. But the discussion seemed interesting to me, and I hope, he will return one day.

i don't delete people for not responding to my discussions, i did delete a couple people cuz it was just spam they were posting. i do not get to all my friends discussions either,i try but i also have 3 small kids and a house to take care of and i have about 40 or so new discussions in my email a day. so i try to get to all but most days i am lucky to get through 25 of them so once a week i do go through my email and delete discussions and start over. i understand not every one can answer a discussion because i can't and if these people can well then thats great but not all of us have that much time.

Works for me friend :) It would be nice if all our friends responded to all our discussions but the facts are - I don't respond to all of my friends discussions either. I do try my hardest but the fact is there are times that I just have nothing at all to say on a topic and rather than post a poor-quality response I simly move on to another. I have however deleted a few friends during my time here - I've posted some very easy to respond to discussions that I don't see why everyone on here couldn't respond to - hey, it's an easy point for my friends. When I post a discussion like that I watch to see who of my friends respond - those who didn't I check their profile and see when the last time was they were on myLot - if they've obviously been on regularly and have done this a couple times I'm pretty sure they are not getting notified of my new discussions so unless they post some really really good discussions I've deleted them. I don't see why I should struggle for a response when they can't give me an easy one.

I agree. There are some subjects I'm just not interested in, or know NOTHING about - or might be treading on dangerous ground & I don't want MyLot to get mad at ME for responding to things I'm not sure are allowed on the group. For example, I see people posting about other groups and I think that's against the rules... so, I don't post.

People with small children can't always be on the computer. We have to grab a few minutes here and there, and after the kids are in bed. Sometimes you simply can't respond to every discussion that your friends post, either due to lack of interest in the topic, or the number of discussions they have posted in a short period of time.