I am so weak

Because you're a mom. Sometimes I feel that my mom is trying to say no but she can't bring herself to say no all the time. Now that I'm a mother I'm going through the same thing. Saying no is hard because we are moms. But let's not forget that THAT is the same reason why we have to say no and actually mean it. It's hard but who ever said being a mom is as easy as 1-2-3? chin up, you're not alone :D

Well he is your own son. He is the child whom you have given birth. I don't think you are weak, you only care a lot for him. You cannot separate your son from you although he is now living with his girlfriend. Every parents know the best they can give to their children and I believe you giving him what he's needed and you're always there to help your son whatever the situation is. Parents need to sacrifice themselves to protect their children at all costs, I think you should know that. Well you can also tell him to look for jobs and stop giving him money. He needs to learn his lessons and needs to grow up as a matured person. You can't give him money all the time, it just mean that you are not allowing him to grow up. He will keep asking you for money and he did not feel shame at all for keep begging you for that. You need to learn your place and his place and if possible work something out the best for both of you. Hope that helps.

Aww sweety...its not your fault..its just that thing called unconditional love we have for our kids..but you have to relize that sometime.,..someday you will have to say no..it wil be hard and kill ya..as im sure your hurting so bad from kickin him out..my mom kicked me out when i was 16..and at that point i was amn average Teen..and she couldnt handle it..and when i did ask for help and monmey she refused..i did everything on my own after that..and she has never helped me..and i think its a godo thing..or i may have not learned to be independent..and survive on my own..I worked 40 plus a week..went to high school and graduated..and had my own apt..by myself..I know it wil be hard.but when u do say no..just remeber its for his own good hun..:)

Because he is your son and whatever it is he has done to make you kick him out ( i haven't read your prior discussions about it) you still love him and care about him, so you still have the need to help him and take care of him. I don't think kicking him out is the best idea to punish him, but i dont know the situation. I know when i was kicked out at 16 I got into a lot more trouble on my own then i did living with my parents.

your just being a mother.. mothers are like that... when it comes to your children you'd sacrifice your own things just so you could provide for them... try talking to your son and try to patch things up... and start to build a much healthier relationship... let him understand your side of the story.. whatever it is you were fighting about...

I think you not is weak .you are very angry in that time . so you Kicked your son ouf of the house. I think you son definite can excusal you :)

I have read your other posts and I really feel for your situation. You're not weak, you just love your kids! Until you get some counseling and work on some issues, maybe it would help to just let your husband handle all the money for the time being. If you don't have it on you, you can't give it when they ask! It might be a short-term way of breaking them of the habit of expecting you to hand over money whenever they ask, until you gain the self-confidence to say no!

I think linda you are not weak, you are a good hearted mother to be exact for no matter how headache and pain your son brought to you, you still think of his welfare and that is not being weak it is being a good mother for me. You even sacrifice your own personal leisure in able to give to your son because you knew he needed it, I think you are bieng true to yourself as a mother. And I admire your for being a responsible mom. Take care.

because hes your son. my kids are still young but its hard to look at them and say no. you love your son and don't want anything to happen to him so you help. it just works that ways

It is very hard to be tough with our children. But just remember that enabling him is not gonna help him. My husbands son was living with us for a while and it got really bad. He was 24 and wouldn't do anything we asked him to do. We kept telling him that if he didn't straighten it out he would have to leave. I guess he just never expected that we would do it. We did and he was very angry for a long time. But we let it alone and he has made real strides because of it. So in the long run it really does help them to grow up. Try to stay strong and he will straighten out.

You can love him without giving him money. I would make it clear to him that if he wants to follow the rules you have set up for your house, he is welcome, but if not, you love him, but he will have to take care of himself. Giving him money just helps him to continue in a destructive lifestyle.

its not only you who is so weak ..thats a common phenomenon among all the parents... they again and again tend to go weak in front of their child and forgive the repeated mistakes he or she does..... well i feel if you don't want such a thing to go on then either have a one to one confrontation or be strong on your stand point.......

kids have a way of bringing out that weakness. The thing is, once they know they can get to you, it just never stops. That is where the term 'tough love' comes into play. By refusing to help him every step of the way, he will eventually reach the stage where he will have to go out and help himself. Then, you will be doing him a world of good as opposed to delaying his opportunity to grow by making things easy for him.

because he is your son

you're a mother, no matter what your son did to you, he is still your son, and that is not being weak, it is because you got soft heart when it comes to your sibling, and that is understandable. good day

The son-mother relationship is such a kind of that always provok mother to love and care for her child! So nothing new in that and then it leads the mother for so many other things which are not apropriate for her, considering situation like money providing, helping the son for something which is making him taken for granted about mother that she will do this for him every time surely! Here lies the reality and mother has to control or to hold her for not doing much in the name of care and love to awaken him for his responsibility, as well as independance as a person! Mother has to put an emphasis on getting mature as son grows since his adolescene and teenage! But when you forgot to do such process then it is always taught you that you have missed something which was a part of child care! That's why now without giving him money or any special treatment just ask him to earn or to help you in household things! Convert your so called and self promoted weakness in to active strength of love and care to awake the son from the sleep of 'taken for granted' about you! And see what happens!!

Hi, I feel your pain on several levels. Your love for you son is not weakness. It's because you care for him that you make these mistakes. there's nothing wrong with love but misplaced love can be dangerous. Look at the situation differently; love that lifts up is based of committment and not feelings. Become committed to seeing him finish well and you will stop enabling bad behavior. Ignore your feelings and concentrate on the end-game. Sometimes, tough love is best. He'll thank you for it later. countdown21.com

I think it's called "being a mother" it is very very hard to say no to our kids - I know, been there done that. Sad think is these kids are so smart these days they know mom is a push-over. And I'm a tough love mom - they still catch me on my weak moments. I don't think your being punished for doing it but I'm guessing the next time he asks you'll think twice before you hand the money over.

He's your son, and no matter how he may hurt you or push you to the limits, you still love him and care about him and feel a need inside to help whenever you can. Its natural to feel like this, but the only way to overcome it is to harden your heart. This is much easier said than done. Once you say No that first time, it gets easier. You have to break the cycle is all. I wish you all the very best of luck.

Hi there, sorry to hear about your worries. I know how hard it is to put our children out, but you know what? If they choose not to listen and get themselves together, we have to boot them out of the nest. It is one of the hardest things you will probably do in life. But he will be ok, and when he gets it together, he will probably thank you. It is called, tough love and I personally think it is tougher on the parent. I have my best friend who took her son to the men's shelter and left him there. He would not work, did nothing much at all. She was at her wits ends. Well, he is back home, actively looking for work, doing things around the house and it is getting better. But she had to put him out before he realized that he needed to get it moving. Good luck to you linda345, I will keep you in my prayers...take care...