My girlfriend seems to have lost interest in me totally.
By smithy86
@smithy86 (137)
March 6, 2007 5:37pm CST
I will have been with my girlfriend for one year next week and i feel like she has lost interest in me. We dont seem to be very intimate with each other and when we are its always only when she wants it. If i make a move i get brushed off or she falls asleep before we get to bed so she is like a zombie and i let her go back to sleep. Even tonight, we agreed to watch CSI in bed and i made the biggest hint in the world, if i had it tattooed on my head it would have been just as clear. SHe still went to sleep anyway and even though she knew what i had in my mind she didnt even say im too tired, she just ignored the fact all together. I cry myself to sleep most nights because i love her and i know that she loves me but im not just going to sit on the shelf and wait for her to decide she would like to borrow my body for an hour and then put me back. Am i right? Or am i just being unreasonable?
4 people like this
27 responses
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
7 Mar 07
i suggest you asked the lady in a very respectful way what you do that makes her feel that way. for all you know it may the way you approch her. If a lady who seems to love you from the beginning starts behaving like that then i tell you something is really wrong. If you ask her and she does not tell you exactly her reasons of behaving like that then please she is really fedup with you. You see, love is lovely, love is patience and tolerance. A true love has a very effective communication skills. if all these elements are missing without reasons then love loses it validity and such relationship will not last.
Be of yourself man, and make sure you know her mind before its too late.
Be Bold
@smacksman (6053)
•
7 Mar 07
It's tough 'to be of yourself man' when you are a woman. Read the post.
Oh, I give up!!!
@Glaeken (109)
• United States
7 Mar 07
How old are you? Teenagers and early 20's shouldn't date for too long. Name teenagers need to date as many people as they can to get an idea of what they need from a relationship and other people, and 20-somethings just end up treating each other like crap if they stay together too long.
@Glaeken (109)
• United States
7 Mar 07
A "special connection" sounds like someone trying to overvalue a relationship, or making a fairytale.
A relationship shouldn't make you blind to other things in life, it should let you see them in different light. It's a personal denial when we think a relationship is going to last forever and be perfect.
The fact is people aren't perfect, and they aren't always best for each other, especially when they themselves don't know what's best for themselves. same goes for thinking of oneself as already complete, and the denial of flaws in the partner is aggrandizing and unfair to the reality of the situation. I believe the phrase rose-tinted glasses comes into play here.
They need multiple different situations to make mistakes in, to get different reactions from people and to see how they are in different sorts of relationships.
If you see now what's happening when people who are young stay together well past the typical time a relationship at that age leads to, maybe you can reevaluate what you recognize I wasn't so far off as to what I said about 20 year olds treating each other poorly can lead to.
You should think about what you really want in a person. Maybe take a break from the relationship and see where you go from there.
Any ways, that's why you should see multiple people growing up. If you stick with one person you lose the valuable tool of experience and you might never find what you're really wanting. You could just end up being miserable trying to make something work that isn't going to.
@laurabeth (145)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I hate to tell you this, and maybe some will disagree, but welcome to a real relationship with a woman. Thats who we are, we are not men, we need more than a "I want booty tonight" hint or attitude. If you want to be intimate you need to make her want it, thats just life. Men and women work very differently and need different things to want to be intimate. Talk to her let her in on how you feel and what she needs, maybe you aren't giving her what she needs either. I know if I don't get what I want and need no one else does either!
@hotburger (14)
• India
7 Mar 07
you are not being unreasonable. you do have a right on over oyur girlfriend and her body. as a man, you ARE ENTTLED TO GET PLEASURE FROM HER. but if you think as a woman, then if she cares for you then the affection she showers on you is far more important than physical intimacy. but for a man physical intimacy is a sign of love. so neither you are wrong neither she is wrong. may she is very tired in the night. may be she wants you to cooperate. i think both of you need third party interference in this regard. may be a common friend or a relative. or you can also talk about it to her if you are so perturbed.
@divvynuts (58)
• Andorra
19 Mar 07
i think what you need to do is actually persuade her to talk to you. Maybe she wants to have a little rest and concentrate on other parts of the relationships that are not so strong. If you two ave a good relationship otherwise maybe its the stress of work. What does she do? The worse case scenario is that she is maybe very stressed out at the moment and maybe she is feeling a little insecure, maybe she has put on a slight few pounds that you havent noticed but she has become very aware of it. just give her time to come to you. if u stop making a move maybe she will come looking for it
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
7 Mar 07
ofcourse you aren't unreasonable. you have feelings, too and that's why you feel that way.
sorry to tell you this... you love her, that's not of any question. but are you sure she still loves you? it's you who mentioned that it is like she wanted your body for an hour and then just put you back aside. so, i don't think that's love. the way you said it, you feel like you're just being used.
however, i say you two talk about it. maybe issues such as yours might be embarassing to open up with your girlfriend. but you both are in this relationship together and that you both are allowed to speak your mind and talk about it. if you still love each other, you will resolve the problem together. if it's only you who has love in the relationship, it's gonna be harder. well, i think you know what i mean, right?
so, i say, if you are prepared to talk about it with her, prepare yourself for whatever you might learn that day. open your mind and read between the lines of her explanations. you'll know it. your heart will know it. then, let your heart decide of it.
remember that a relationship should be taken cared of by both of you. if it's only you who cares for the relationship, it's not worth fighting for.
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Sounds like you are the only one putiing any effort into this relationship. You might want to think about putting that effort into another one. I know that may be hard to do but it might be better for the both of you in the end. Tell her your feelings first though. It might be worth saving. Good luck
@monty1010in (22)
• India
7 Mar 07
dear friend
just make her a little jealous chilly gets
spicer and tastey when u heat it a little bit
and enjoy the whole food
@smacksman (6053)
•
7 Mar 07
Homosexual relationships can be really tough because you are both on the same side of the emotional fence. Apart from talking, which I'm sure you have done already, there is not much else to do other than a sweet parting of the ways for a bit and see if absense makes the heart grow fonder.
Difficult for you though as all the love is on your side. Maybe a break would make her happy?
@dalfrath (6)
• India
7 Mar 07
As she seems to be not interested when you try, it is advisable to be patient and wait till she develops the mood for intimate relationship with you. By adjusting like this, you may by and by get her to comply with your wishes at the time you want. Thus you may win her over by patience and understanding. Urgency and compulsion may invite more negative response from her.
@sdawasthi (26)
• India
7 Mar 07
Frind you say that she is your girlfriend and this question u are posting to my lot. when i say that a girl is my girlfriend means i share all that is there in my mind about her and yes about all the other people. smith i dont suggest you to ask your girlfriend that wether she has lost interest in you but yes u can talk to her indirectly about this and also try to get the answer why she is responding in such a way, rather CRYING. friend this will prove your true love.
@777777777 (25)
• Romania
7 Mar 07
You should add more "action" into this relationship.A girl always looses interest if she finds you boring.Maybe some romantic dinner or some other interesting stuff to do.In the worst case, she could be cheating, but that's only in the worst case.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
7 Mar 07
i think you need to have a chat and let her know your feeling instead of just assuming... ask her directly why she can't be as intimate to you as before... she might have her own reason and i think you have to find it out from her... and the only way you can do it is just by asking her directly... that's all... open communication and honesty is very important to keep a relationship going... good luck...
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
7 Mar 07
My suggestion would be to talk to her and see where her heart is..Sometimes "throwing hints" can be brushed aside..You have to be direct and speak clearly, make sure you two are on the same page..
No offense, and not trying to worry you, but that could be signs of her not being "in love" with you. She loves you, just not "in love"
Approach her and just listen to her. It's very possible it could be as simple as there needs to be more excitement in you your lives.
Sometimes talking and communicating with each other is better than leaving things left unsaid which could further dampen the situtaion more...
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Maybe you should talk to her about how your feeling and how her reaction to you lately has made you feel like she has lost interest in you. There could be something going on with her physically and or emotionally (maybe) and isn't sure how to deal with it. If you're able to talk it out and find out why she is feeling this way, then you can go from there.
PS maybe watching something else than CSI might get her in the mood LOL
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
7 Mar 07
well you have to check what is wrong here
somtimes whaen people are in a relationship for a year
they get used to each other and things get tired
maybe she is having a tough period of time you have to sit with her and talk check out what is going on
and you can also surprise her with a special vacation or somthing that will make you both smile
this is normal what are posting here and the situation can change easily
try what i adviced you here and good luck:)
@marina1981 (627)
• Italy
7 Mar 07
in my opinion the solution in these cases is always the same: talking each others trying to get a solution.
talking is very important in life and it helps us very much!
