"it's hard to trust again "
By gem0211
@gem0211 (38)
Philippines
March 6, 2007 6:32pm CST
My husband cheated me once 5 years ago with my best friend's sister and until now i am having doubts about him.It's been over long time and he promised me that he will not going to cheat on me again.I couldn't give him the trust 100% after that.Do you think i could trust him again and how?I have been thinking maybe i don't love him the way i used to that's why i can't trust him again.He has a hard time trying to work our relationship and get back where we used to,but the problem is myself.Do you think we need some space and figure it out what i really wanted to do?In my case, I wanted to leave the house and find myself and figure it out what i really want but i have 3 kids to consider...
5 responses
@decimus785 (1419)
• Aruba
7 Mar 07
I think you should trust him,if you dont you'll never live happy with him,because you will always think he's cheating on you again.Not trusting him and thinking negative is the reason you don't love him the way you used to
@coolchic101 (848)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I disagree with decimus. Since we can't read the future, sometimes it's hard for people to trust their partners again after they've been betrayed. Please read my post below.
@gem0211 (38)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
I know i have to trust him again, but that is one thing i can't do till now.It's been a long time but i still couldn't give him 100% trust.I have talked to people i know and has a problem like this and mostly they said they could not totally trust the person after what happened but they are still living together because they don't want a broken family.anyway,thanks for the comments...
@joven222 (84)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
hi there,
this is one bad situation on you my friend. actually, the thing is, when trust is broken, it is very hard to regain again. it is very hard to trust a person that had broken the trust that you have given him. but in your case, there are some things that you need to consider. the first one is this, it has been a long time and you can see that your husband has been doing everything to regain the trust you have given him. this does not really mean that you are losing your love for him. the only thing that you need to do is to give some time to learn to give your trust again. i know this would take some time, but i know you can get over it. let your kids be your inspiration.
@coolchic101 (848)
• United States
7 Mar 07
A lot of parents think that staying together is for the kids. Kids are smart. They sense tension between the parents. Don't underestimate them. You are examples that they will follow when they go into relationships themselves when they get older. Remember the saying "It's better to be alone and healthy, than to be sick in a relationship".
Being in a toxic relationship will make you sick-physically,mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Stress manifests itself into illnesses and diseases. Your kids can't afford to be sick. They need a mother who is strong and will be there for them.
Who knows..maybe you husband will remain faithful to you for the rest of your lives. Or maybe he may be tempted again and become unfaithful. I suggest seperating from him for a while and taking your kids with you. You need space for the time being, to see if it works out. If you don't know where to go, stay with some relatives or friends of yours, until things work out for the better.
Hope this helps!
@gem0211 (38)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
Thank you so much for the advice, i have been thinking about it and just couldn't do it till now... i am jobless and that's one thing am here in mylot , trying to earn so i can do something for myself.I have been a plain housewife and mother to the kids and i was happy and contented before i found out he cheated me.You are right it's been eating me since then, i change a lot after that incident,physically, mentally and emotionally and so on.Your advice helps a lot.Thank you and god bless you!
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 07
I think this can be better answered by wife of my friend (he he he)
