How could you say that to a child?

If the mother had hit the child in your presence,would you report the abuse to someone??Verbal abuse like this is still abuse and should not be tolerated.The mother is obviously majorly stressed out but still can not be allowed to take it out on the child.The little girl probably has low self-esteem,is guilt-ridden and will be haunted by comments like that for the rest of her life or until she receives help.I am not saying run out and call the police to do a raid on the mother,but I am saying that abuse of any type should NOT be tolerated !

That is horrible. To use a child as a scapegoat?? Disgusting. I would tell her that her mother was angry and that she can't be the cause of her step dad leaving. As far as the child getting yelled at for watching tv; you should have stepped in and said something like "I'm sorry that is my fault, I didn't know that was against your rules." (I am not saying you were wrong by the way) That might have difused the mother's anger a bit. I am sorry you had to deal with this and I pray that everything will settle and the child won't be hurt forever by this.

That's insanely cruel! To blame an innocent child for the step father not being able to handle having a child or just not wanting to is unreal. She will indeed have mental issues because her mother told her this, and even more if the mother will continue to blame the child for years to come. My children come first...if a man doesn't like my children, he doesn't like me and it's adios a*shole.

The mom obviously needs to grow up a bit. It doesn't seem wrong to me, it is wrong. You don't say those kinds of things to children because they don't know any better and they'll believe it. I don't know the circumstances, but there's noway a small child with an "attitude" problem can ruin a marriage. Unless the marriage was pretty unstable to begin with. I think you're doing the best you can in the situation. I would personally probably get very pissed and yell at the woman, but you did good by not saying anything. If you did, the woman would probably stop having you walk her little girl to school and she wouldn't have you for support anymore.

It seems to me that the mother's marriage is going down the toilet and she wants someone to blame. And getting rid of the puppy seems unfair as it's a puppy and tear things up is what puppies do and if the puppy were properly entertained with the correct chew toys, he wouldn't tear up blankets. That is a horrid mean mother, and reminds me of my own.

I would hate to be in your possition. There realy isn't a lot you can do. The mother is upset becouse her marrige is falling apart and taking it out on the child. Who by the way I agee with you has nothing to do with it. Even if she did as a mother if you have to make a choice between your child and a man it is always your child. And you never let the child know it.

Thats horrible! But some parents do it., Man, I would have stepped in, talked to her as she was going to school. They really dont know things at that age and really will think its thier fault. Just because the mum is stressed doesn't mean she should take it out on the kid.

It is really sad to know about the plight of this little girl, I feel when parents show their own frustrations on kids it is really a bad thing. If a puppy tore the blanket where is the childs fault. Somehow i feel such persons should never be given kids by the God then that will be better.

Oh the poor thing. Since you witnessed it first hand could you call the guidance counselor at the school and inform them of what you know? The little girl probably needs someone to talk to that will help her understand it isn't her fault :( I will never understand how some parents can be so cruel.

This mother should be ashamed of herself for making this poor child feel like everything is her fault. The next day you walk her to school, explain to her that nothing is her fault. Also explain to the mother, that what she did in front of her is child abuse, it might not be physical abuse it's called verbal and it is very harmful to a child to hear that stuff. Also please tell the child to tell her father what is going on. If he cares any for his child he will not tolerate this at all. Also let her know if she needs to talk to anyone that you will be there to listen to her. Also this mom needs to get her act together, she needs to realise it's not her child's fault she can't keep a man. I mean she already lost her first husband. Good Luck with this matter.

My dad's best friend is a woman. My step-mom invited her to stay with us for a couple of weeks last November when the NASCAR races were coming through town. A lot of jealousy came about of it, and one morning early when I was getting ready for school (while my dad's friend was still here), my step-mom came up to me and told me that her fighting with my dad was my fault because they were fighting a lot about me, and that I should stay away from my dad's friend and not talk to her so that I wouldn't escalate the fighting anymore. It was a horrible thing to say, and it took my dad and his friend a long time to finally convince me that it wasn't my fault. Yes, it is wrong. This is emotional abuse, and sometimes the scars last longer than any physical ones would. I think you should get her to a counselor, someone who will explain to her what's really going on and how it's not her fault. Or, if you're not comfortable doing that, talk to her yourself. I know that you might think that you're overstepping your bounds by doing this, but she is your charge, and you are also responsible for her. That means all aspects of her health, including emotional and mental. Even if the mother says that you're overstepping, you aren't. This is part of your responsibility, and if the mother won't see to her child's emotional health, someone needs to, and it becomes your job. Get help if you can, but take care of it somehow. That's my advice, anyway.

If you witnessed abuse in any kind though it is not your place or territory..dont ever think you dont have the right to step in.. Most of us think that way and i used to think that way too, but i was changed by a friend...WE should not forget that even though we think that its not our house, its not our family, or its not our child, we just have to remain quiet and watch what will happen next.. lets not forget that we have the so called "SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY" (take note of this) that give us the right to do whats the best thing for someone. I hope we will not take for granted the responsibility we have. You have the reason to be there...destiny brings you to that situation for some purpose...and that is to save a child from abuse no matter what and no matter how...lets not just stand their and watch our action is needed before its too late...before damage being done permanently...

yaa its really wrongg

It does seem wrong and you are a great person for being that person the child can have fun with and talk to without being judged. If I were in your position I would talk to the mother privately if you are close to her and tell her that you didn't know about the TV and delicately try to get her to talk to her daughter. It doesn't matter how much someone comforts a child after such remarks unless her mother talks to her and tells her that it really isn't her fault then she will think it was even if other people tell her its not. A mother's word is the most powerful thing in a child's life, for better or worse.

That's terrible! Her mother sounds like a right cow. To blame a marraige break-up on a child is a horrible thing to do. I feel so sorry for that girl, it sounds like she's having a horrible time of it living in a household with a mother like that. At least you're there for her.

It's called "Mental Abuse" and a parent could get in trouble for putting a child self esteem down like that. If you cuss or call your child names and blame stuff on them, it can be reported for "Mental Abuse". You have every right to tell that mother to step it down a little and to rethink things before she speaks to her daughter like that again. I would of told the daughter that her mom was stressed and she didn't mean it. Poor child... I hope she doesn't really think it's her fault.

i have no idea....this would be so difficult to call

OMG thats horrible. That poor kid, its bad enough that shes split between two families, let alone her mum blaming her for her marital problems.

Yes, it is wrong. Children has rights, and their parents should be the one to protect them primarily. A child can never cause a marriage break-up, and the mother has no business telling this kid off. She may be feeling stressed and all, but still, that's not reason enough. She should see a psychiatrist if she feels it's the child's fault. The child could grow up bearing the guilt that she's not deserving off. It could do serious damage to her well-being.

I think you should approuch children with empathy and caring, but still be direct as they have to learn their own ways to deal with things and often they are saner and more understanding of human nature than many adults.