What hurts more words or blows!
By mummymo
@mummymo (23706)
March 8, 2007 5:26am CST
I have thought of this before but it has really hit home lately with some discussions how much word can hurt and eat away at someone, sometimes overshadowing a persons whole life and self esteem! I try hard not to say thing that I might regret to my kids( of course I sometimes do - we ar only human after all!) and I make sure that I try to build their self-confidence and praise the good that they do! I know about both physical and verbal/ mental abuse from a past relationship and while I would never wish to say that physical abuse has little impact ( because it has a huge impact on a person) I feel that words can cause damage that goe much deeper and lasts much longer. What do you think?
13 people like this
46 responses
@mykykko (424)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
well it is true that words can cause damage much deeper and last longer compared when someone hits you,the pain will just stay for awhile but afterwards the pain will be gone just like it wasn't happen.a friend of mine suferred from depression because of the things her family says to her which really breaks her heart.she bacame revel to her parents and got married at a very young age.until now whenever i asked her about her family,she don't want to talk about it but i can see in eyes how those words hurt her badly.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
8 Mar 07
for me its words, i can take a punch as well as any man but words can bring me back to my knees
blessed be
4 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
8 Mar 07
I thank God pal that I have never know physical abuse , and personally from anyone I know I had never had mental abuse either until yesterday on this website , I felt physically sick and my mind would not rest , but when I saw how quickly all my friends on here stood up for me I was crying with happiness , now that was from someone I didn't even know so my heart feels so much for people who has to stand mental abuse day after day , good discussion my friend xx
2 people like this
@cayennepepper (266)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I have never had to deal with this, so I am not sure. I think verbal abuse causes mental pain and can cause physical stress to the body that shows itself in verious forms like ulcers or high blodd preasure for example. Physical abuse causes immediate physical pain, but it also causes mental stress that can handicap a person as well. I guess the only difference is that verbal abuse can be hidden easier from those who don't know the signs to look for. As to what hurst more, I guess that depends on the individual circumstances involved.
2 people like this
@cayennepepper (266)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thanks for the kind words. I wish people didn't have to deal with things like this. I hope that you and others heal from these kinds hurts and find happiness once again.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
8 Mar 07
For me it's words. Physical pain seems to fade a lot quicker than emotional pain.
3 people like this
@lafavorito (2959)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
Personally speaking from experience words hurt me more because it's forever engraved in my mind. The physical blows I received during my teen years mended within a week but the hurting words I heard haunts me until now. I'm trying to use those harsh words as motivation to be stronger and to prove to that person that I'm worth more than she thinks of me. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband and friends who helped me during those times some people aren't so lucky and they tend to wallow in self pity and often self-destruct.
2 people like this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
I think verbal abuse has more effect on the person's mentality, rather physical abuse. Being abused physically hurts us only once, and the wound it leaves are easy to heal. I think the body can take all kinds of physical abuse, but I don't think the mind can receive such abuse verbally. The after-effects that it causes are prolonged, and that certain individual might brought these up to their social living..
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
31 Jul 07
I agree with you on this! Words cut deeper than any pynch can hurt. As women I think that words sometimes can last so much longer than bruises that we would rather be abused physically.
I am thankful that my husband is not the kind of person to ever hit me or the kids and he rarely ever says anything that would hurt someones' feelings.
@20031969 (932)
• India
9 Mar 07
definately blows. my opinion is that if one is doing any abusive or sarcastic remarkes in front of you, you can ignore them or you can forget it assuming that it is disgusting or futile but if somebody blows you, your patience will loose and you will blow.
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I understand completely what you're saying; I was married to a man for a year only (thank God) and he honored me (his words) with his fists and his degrading words of abuse. I know that if I hadn't gotten out I would not be in this world right now.
The bruises healed but the words still remain with me today. It's been over 20 years and they still haunt me. That's why I, also, try my very best to pick my words carefully when I'm talking to my son and husband; sometimes I mess up and apologize right away - as you say, we're all human -
@mummymo (23706)
•
9 Mar 07
we are all only human sweetie - I am glad that you managed to get out so quickly that shows how strong you are! I wish I could take the words that haunt you awayand leave you in peace! My ex begged me to leave him cos he was scared he was going to kill me, but it was still the words that lingered bur I'm lucky I have exorcised them now! x
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
The physical pain may heal in time but the emotional pain may definitely leave a scar in our heart. Some people forget to use their head and just keep on saying harsh words. The least we can do is to toughen our act and just move on with our life. All the best!!!
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
9 Mar 07
Mummymo, I feel both words and blows does impact an individual.
Physical blows hurts in that it gives physical pain. The gain goes away after a while, the worst one can expect is that there might be a stubborn scar on the skin which do not want to go away. If you touch the scar, it has no feelings, it is numb. This might not be so with words.
Words hurt when it touches the emotional belly. We all are emotional beings, how long we feel the hurt lies in how strong and adapt we are at managing emotions. Some peole are "cold-hearted" and can take most word blows. Some get hurt very easily. Some forget hurt easily. Some remember for life. Abuses hurt because your emotions is affected, no matter how much you deny it.
So what hurts more? Depends on situation.
@gokul_gocool (17)
• India
9 Mar 07
mee too worda can damage more than a 1000pound heavy punch
2 people like this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
9 Mar 07
That's right mummymo, blows inflict physical pain which will heal over time but words damage us mentally which is very hard to get over and can scar us for life. It is very saddening that more flame wars are developing on myLot and users have become so inconsiderate and thoughtless. People unnecessarily throw insults and say demeaning things. It is not required at all and after all other users are here just like them. Though it is often said actions speak louder than words, on myLot words being the only medium mean more than a thousand actions. We need to consciously make an effort to think before we express ourselves. For some this might be just another money making opportunity but to many being a part of myLot means a lot. There is more to it than just the money.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
9 Mar 07
Greengal thank you for that. I know that everyday I love to see how much my total earnings are but it wouldn't be enough to keep the family in toilet paper! I love being here on mylot as I cannot get about the same as I used to and my brain was going to mush! I have met a lot of very nice people and a couple of well I can't think of nice words for them so I'll just say not so nice and I have been stimulated every day to use my brain, laugh and cry! I always try not to be nasty as everyone is entitled to their opinion - just not to inflict pain on others! x
@sweetaspie52 (2359)
• United States
9 Mar 07
words hurt worse and the the pain of the word last for a long time I have post something like this before so tell me where did you get your ideal
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
9 Mar 07
From a friend who was in verbally/ mentally abusive marriage for 15 years before getting out - she could nor believe that her new partner was so nice to her - she didn't feel that she deseved it cos the words from her ex still stayed at the front of her mind all the time! Also I was both phyically and mentally abused and although the physical wounds hurt like hell at the time it was the things that were said to me that had a lasting impact that was hard to work through! It seemed to me that wors were a lot more harmful and had a bigger impact on peoples lives that being hit and thought I'd like to find out other peoples opinions!
I wouldn't take someone elses posting and re use it - that goes against the whole point of being on mylot! If you look at any of my postings I am here to meet people, make friends and stimulate my brain - hope you notice that it might make a little time but I always respond to everyone who leaves an answer to my posts! Hope this put your mind at rest!
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I agree that words cause more damage than physical abuse. Mental abuse can really damage a person. It can take years for them to get their self esteem back. Why is it that people can say the cruelest things to each other.
@domesticengineer (576)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
Abusive words can actually kill. It kills your self-esteem. It makes you so helpless that you thought you are what is being told of you. I think we should never let someone put us down too much that it hurts more than physical abuse.
@farnix (52)
• Singapore
9 Mar 07
I must agree with you, negative comments and opinions can be very harmful to person, and the possibility of causing the person to go into self denial and/or depression is somewhat there.
And negative comments can remain in people who are very emotional for a longer time. Well I guess that why the word "break up" can sometimes make a man cry for week on end.
2 people like this
@bettyrose20 (997)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
Yes i agree that words are more hurtful than physical blows cos wounds are easily healed but the words that wwere imprinted on your mind and heart affects your overall character..it mars your self, makes you feel insecure, unloved, depress.
2 people like this
