To offer or not to offer?

What i do know is it kinda look rude to argue about who offers what when someone already did offer to pay it. I mean if they will say no no its ok il pay for it, then fine. If you dont agree, only argue for it once and if it works or not then fine. If he says he'll pay the bill and the other say he will take the tip then first offerer should just say yes rather than argue about it. Its kinda rude talking about money at the table. A friend from Uk told me that when my friends and i went out with him and invited this other Mexican guy along. Mexican guy offered to pay his share and Uk guy said no its rude because we invited him. So Uk guy paid all of the bill and Mexican guy wanted to share some or give some and so UK guy told him that this is how it is. Who invites pay and should never argue about it in front fo other friends, guests or people since it appears rude. Understand too that UK guy is 50s and Mexican was young at 30s:P

This is an interesting custom! I've never heard of it myself but then again, tipping isn't encouraged in Singapore since we already have a 10% service charge added to the bill (though I think the restaurant is gobbling this up instead of the service staff). If we pay by card, then definitely no tips usually. But if you pay by cash, you can always give a bit more and say keep the change - or we just walk off without waiting for the change to come. In the situation you encountered, if your friend really insisted on paying, then fine. What I would do if I were your husband would be to say something to the effect of: Alright, let's go for coffee/dessert. And this time, I'm buying. Then we go and have another fun time. If this is not feasible, then I would be sure to promise that the next treat when we meet would be on me. Remember greengal, generosity is a 2-way thing. If you give graciously, that's being generous. A much harder form of generosity is receiving graciously. A truly generous person must learn to give and accept graciously. ;-)

You must offer because its better to give than to recieve

in the US it is polite to offer the pay the tip if the other person is paying the full bill. i could be seen as rude to NOT offer to pay the tip.

oh I think that it is always nice offering to pay something for another person...I mean..first of all it is nice offering our beloved people something..and then I think it may be a kind of courtesy offering to pay at least something, even the tip, just to make the other feel we appreciate his effort and are interested in a contribution...cultural habits are numerous and different and we can always count on an explanation if we have the feeling of being misunderstood...for example..here in Italy it is a good habit that the man is offering to pay for the woman when they go out for a date...well I am a very independent woman and I hate a man telling he was the one in charge of my bills therefore I like paying everything I consume or buy, but I find it a courtesy him offering to pay for me for our first date for example....so see how many choices there might be...kindness and a bit of care for other's feeling are the most important rule where relationships are concerned

I don't see any problems with what your friends are doing, greengal. When I dined with friends, we usually do not mind very much who gets to paid the tip. If a friend offered to pay for what we eat, then fine. But I make sure to return the same gesture when we meet again. It should be a two way thing, greengal. The next time you meet with your friends again, you can offer to pay the bill as well as the tip.

we really only go out for a meal with the family , Hubby me and Ross sometimes mum and dad and sometimes with the boys and their family too , When 1 pays the bill another pays the tip , sometimes we split it all , but I think you were quite right in offering , I would have done the same xx

I think ideally the bill should be split equally. That way there is no situation about one person paying the bill and one person paying the tip. I actually find it funny that one pays the bill and one the tip. Rather if one person is footign the bill, then out of courtesy the other person should offer to take the person out the following week or month or something.

Yes often and I think it is a very nice gesture whether it is accepted or not. I also had never heard of it before coming to the States but I approve of it very much.

We do the same...if a friend offered to pay the bill, we offered to pay for the tip...but if a friend said no, then we asked, are you positive? Getting a confirmation then we accept it. Before we part ways, we always say, next time we go out to eat, definitely we will be paying. And the other person will agree. I guess this kind of exchange is just a routine coz it will be a long time to go out together especially if this friend is the kind who lives far from you or you seldom see but definitely we will keep in mind that it is our turn to pay the bill.

For me it depends on the situation. If a gentleman has asked me out to dinner I do not offer either, he has asked me. If friends and I are talking and one or the other says "hey lets get together for..." and I agree then I will offer. It is common curtisy as far as I know, if one pays the bill the other gets the tip. Even my adult children do this now if I pay for the meal they will say, "Thanks Mom I'll get the tip",

This past Friday we went to dinner with a friend, we offered to pay for our meal which they said no and the server was to put it on one bill. Also offered to leave tip but again they said no ,I have it. As to be couteous , offer, if no accept and say thank you.

the question is who did the invitation to go out and eat?well, who is who will pay..hehe

offering to pay for the tip when the other person paid for the bill is one of the most courteous gestures i was brought to believe. it's a tacit way of saying thank you and if the situation was turned around, if i paid the bill and a friend offered to pay for the tip, i wouldnt be offended at all, i would actually be most grateful.

No I would not as the Person who pays the Bill will automatically pay the Tip to. The one thing I would do is if the Person that offered to pay would not pay the Tip then I would put the tip with the Bill and I would not care what the other Person says.

Hmm, if someone else is paying the bill here, he also pays the tip, if they get any =) here the waitresses earn good money and the tip is already included in the tab, howvever sometimes we might still tip... But from what i have learned the waitresses in the started will not even survive on just what they get paid from the resturant?

It's just common courtesy to offer to pay the tip. If the other person paid the bill & the tip, I'd excuse myself & go back leaving another tip on the table letting the other person know I also left a tip. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!

I sometimes offer to pay the tip when my friends pay the bill but they often decline. It's not a big deal for me, as long as we had fun together it's ok.

Yes, that is something that we do. Whoever picks up the bill is not expected to pay the tip. The person who is not paying the bill, pays the tip. It is just something that we have always done. I dont know about any common courteousy but we have always done that.

here it is usual, when someone pays the bill, the other one pays the beverages, or the dessert with coffee. the tipp is included here but we always give a bit extra, when the service was good.