Why is the parent child relationships a mess these days?

If you look at certain stations like MTV or BET, you would discover the answer. Children are influenced more by what they see on TV and what they hear from their friends than anything. Almost everything on TV portrays a "do what you want" attitude and such shows gives no morals. This is going in the heads of kids and teens constantly. This is why their are relationship problems between parents and children.

The parent child relation turned out as a mess just because of the generation gap.Now a days parents are treating their child as a slave in matter of studies.They put lot of pressure on their child to get very good marks.And child never wanted keep his complete concentration on studies.They wish to play, they like to spend their time with friends.And in some relations child take too much of intimacy and take all wrong steps in their lives. The only reason for disturbance in their relations is GENERATION GAP which need to be avoided through good understanding and little bit of adjustments.

I would say the biggest reason for this is because of what children are told in school these days and what their friends tell them and what they see one t.v etc . Children don't like to be told no and are told everywhere they go that as a parent you don't have rights to discipline them , leaving parents feeling that their only option is to give in to their children all the time . This allows the child to get away with so much in life that when they are told no , they rebel .

I think that part of the problems with the parent child communication is the fact that parents are busy working a lot of hours just to meet their childs needs,then they work even more hours to meet wants, then their children are taken from one class to another, and basically while everyone is rushing around being busy and doing all kinds of things. No one is taking time to talk or get to know what the other likes. A parent may know more about their coworkers feelings than their own child because of their child being at school, then after school programs or classes, then maybe their kids will be doing homework or talking to friends on the phone or playing a video game or using the computer. Then getting cleaned up for bed, then going to bed, only to get up to do the same thing again the next day. Also a parent may leave for work before their child gets up and come home about the time their child is getting ready for bed or maybe already in bed. Which leaves very little time left to communicate well. Then on weekends some parents still have to work and their kids may be involved in different activities too, because of trying to live in a bigger bettter home, drive a better vechical and because of wanting to buy the newest things on the market etc, something very important is being lost. Parents are exhausted trying to buy everything and provide everything that they feel their child needs deserves or whatever. So when they are home they don't enjoy even talking to their kids they just want quiet after a long day or week of working. So their child feels like their parents just don't like them or want them, and communication breaks down in a major way. While the child may see all the things.,things can't hug you and tell you great job or ask you how your day was. It takes a person to ask those things. Anyway add an outside job to your teens life in addition to everything else, and you can become like strangers just sharing the same address. JMHO Also some people do not have good parents and that also causes problems.

These days there are less communication between parents and their childrens.Without communications,how do we want to know each other well.It may lead to dysfunctional families.Parents spend more time working.While children blaming their parents for whatever happen to them. We need to correct this. Spend more time. Parents should listen to what the children want to say.If you do not agree with them,let them finish then u can say your thought. Childrens..what they need i a bit of attention.... and love... from someone they called parents....

I think that parent/child relationships are a mess because everyone is working so many hours and so hard, nobody feels like spending quality time together. It is much easier for some parents to plop a new video game system down in front of their child rather than actually spend time with them. Another problem I see are parents who are trying to turn their children into superkids. These kids go to school all day, then go to soccer or dance lessons. No time to cook dinner, so its a Happy Meal on the way home..and then bed. I have seen kids who are absolutely exhausted because they have no time just to BE. They have to always be involved in this activity and that activity....and even in all of this there is still minimal communication with the parents. I saw on a new's show recently where a poll was given and kids were asked if they had rather go to ball/soccer practice after school or just come home and have some free time. The majority chose the free time. Interesting...

i think that the parents dont have time for their kids this day all think of is to make money so they dont pay attenssion to the children any more

A parent is also the childs best friend and this rapport should be built and nurtured from a very young age so that children are free to confide in their parents in all matters and parents correct them without being judgemental,do you smoke for fun or force of habit,before taking the next puff take a walk in the ward of Tata memorial hospital, where 90% of cancer patients are or were smokers and given up albeit too late,to see them and their near and dear ones suffer is sad and all because they felt they did the right thing at that time.

we in india face similar problems but from the other end. we have large joint families & the grandparents and other cousins are messing up & poking their noses so much into each others lives that there is no privacy left. so the child tries to go out of the house and acquire all sorts of relations who give them freedom and then the children spoil themselves

Most of the reason is that parents are too busy trying to be their child's friend instead of being a parent. A parent has to discipline and teach a child right from wrong and sometimes that isn't the popular thing. Also, they don't develop a relationship with their child. A lot of people these days are so busy working to just pay the bills that they are too exhausted when they get home to spend any real time with their children. I'm guessing that your mom spent some serious time with you as a child and took the initiative to get to know you and to keep the communication lines open later. I would imagine that she hates to see you smoke because she doesn't want you to die prematurely but she also knows that you have to make decisions for yourself and deal with the consequences. When I was growing up, most parents from my Mom's and Dad's generation were so busy trying to give their kids the things that they never had that they never took the time to get to know their own children. My parents and I have a fairly good relationship now but it's taken over 40 years to get there. It's just real important for parents to spend time with their kids and get to know them. And, they can't allow the child to run the home. If a parent doesn't act like a parent, the child will do whatever he or she can get away with and they won't have any respect for their parents for allowing it.

my relationship with my mom really sucks! I mean I have been a good daughter.. she tells me that but she doesn't trust me. She's over protective. i hate that but I'm kinda used to it. I don't go out at time even during weekends. I'm allowed to go out whenever I have something to do in school. School related activities are fine but sometimes I can't even go because she doubts. She always doubts she thinks I'm also doing wrong things outside. I don't want to communicate with her also because she concludes right away. But even if I don't communicate with her she knows everything about me. i don't have privacy and I'm not the one living my life. It's like I'm a toy with a remote control. I hate this life! But what can I do I'm still 17 but I'm turning 18 in two months time.. Still she treats me like a kid! I'm so sick of her.

Wow isn't that the truth, there are a lot of problems these days with the parent-child relationship. I thought it was rough when I was growing up, not having the guidance or protection that I look back now and think I should have had... But then I look at things today and think wow I actually had it pretty good.

i think it is case to case basis. There are families that are parents show to their children that they are very superior that is why children are afraid to open up. There is no open communication. Most parents are too conservative that they can't accept that we have a new generation now. They are always trying to compare before during their time and now. Haller!! like its how many yrs have passed already.. hehee :) On the other hand, some cases also that the parents are too lenient with their children that the children forgot that it's their parents whom they are interacting with that they are not giving proper respect to their parents in terms of the manner of speaking. i guess that's my opinion.. hehehhee

Here in South Asia, where the system of family is collective mostly, Children live withh their parents and they got married and their grnd children also live with them.... The point is there are also differences in between Parents and Children, but since their lives are shared (in any manner) they are hesitating. Second point is the Media, i am not against the media development in south asia, but when our parents was of our age, there was no TV, internet, even telephone, when ever they watch us using these facilities intensivley, they thinks tehnselves that whether these techs aren't going to harm us......here the conflict arises.... i just mentioned one type of conflict and scinerio of south asia.....Thanks

it is very simple actually... parents nowadays are busy earning money and neglected their children... they either put their children in childcare or ask the grandparents to look after the children... of course the quality of education, values and upbringings will be very different if the parents raise the children themselves... some parents don't even get to meet their children for the whole day because they left very early when the children are still sleeping and they go home very late when the children are already sleeping... and the pitiful children have to be look after by other people... that's the reason why the relationship between parents and children are not as close as before anymore...

Well being a parent myself, I have open communication policy with my son, we do things together, I get involved in his life...As a young child, He had his moods, which I would believe all kids would, that's when disciplining took effect, over time, He knows and today going on 12, he don't talk back to me...I think it all stems how a child is raised, if you let the child fall out in the store and cry and talk back, the parent should have a hold on that, if not, well I can see why a child would do it. they know nothing will happen... Myself at 33, I have a open relationship with my mother and she knows alot about me...I believe before television or friends or anything of that, the parents should have a hold on their children, teach them that everything they hear is not true, and if you are curious about it come talk to the parents. Great topic and it's wonderful that you have good communication with your mom

this is because parents nowadays fail to give their children enough quality time with them. the gap is widening between them because of lack of time and this will keep widening until parents give time.

I should say it's basically because of the generation gap..the children wouldn't understand the way their parents see things and vice versa..but even then, both parties have to meet half-way so as to keep disputes which could lead to some bigger problems. True, communication lines have to be always open, letting each party be aware that they are always welcome to air out their thoughts, concerns, problems, or whatever they need to say or tell the other party about. However, I guess it has to be the parents who need to make the first move, open the communication and let it be known to their children that no matter what happens, they are still their parents and are always willing to sit down with them and listen to whatever they need to say. By that I presume the children would be encouraged to go to their parents when they are feeling lost and needed some advices as that would reassure them that their parents are the only people who would understand them when all the rest won't.

In every relationship communication really plays a very important part. Without it any partnership or relationship for that matter would never survive. Likewise, everything to be said should be expressed in a nice way because it is how you say things that usually matters not what you say.

The problem is too many people are starting too young and having too many too close together...I've met so many young women who "want" a baby...but don't have any idea what it takes to raise a baby. Unfortunately what happens is people get their babies, and then suddenly realize that they wish they didn't cause they miss their fun lives...and then comes the mental neglect where the parent blames the child for them losing friends and not having as much fun anymore! I see it all the time, it really is sad.