Divorce or not?

Hi there inconspicuous. Well i've been through this before.... :( anyway i would just divorce him and move on. The husband had no regard to the wife. Let the mistress have him. He doesn't deserve the wife!

When my husband and I married, we mutually agreed that there were 3 cardinal rules for our relationship, the breaking of any of which, means an immediate end to the relationship. 1- We both require moonogamy 2- the first time a hand ever comes up in anger and 3- The moment either one can say they do not love the other person, it's at an end...neither of us will live in a house without it. Illness...etc...would make it more painful to seek out the divorce, but it wouldn't change the basic rules.

I will not pursue the divorce. I will forgive him as you said he was diagnosed with serious illness. If you did not put a condition on this maybe i will say YES without without second thoughts.

That's a tough decision. The fact that your spouse is ill doesn't change the fact that he/she cheated in the first place. If this person has others to help him/her through the illness, I'd still look at getting out.

No divorce

Wow. Good Question... Actually, if he had only cheated one time, admitted it, realized what he stood to lose, and was willing to go to counseling and work through whatever issues he had in him that caused him to cheat, I probably wouldn't divorce him - the first time. "If he cheats once, got help. If he cheats twice, get out!" My ex was diagnosed with lung cancer a few years ago. I still broke up with him, but we are friends, and if he ever needs me when he's sick, I will be there for him, always, but it doesn't mean I have to stay with him or allow him to cheat on me again.

Its a hard one Inconspicuous, but i would suppose you would have to look deep on how much you love him/her, if any children what would be the effect on them. then perhaps take what neccessary action you dicide. further if no children involved and you still are pursueing divorce perhaps look into the medical and assistance she/he can have, make the divorce an equal one/fair to both parties where the seriously ill called be able to live what ever time of life left for them. It would be difficult but perhaps a logical one. Hope this helps

Everyone deserves a second chance. If you feel your husband is really sorry about the cheating & wants help for that - take him back. Don't just do it because he is sick.

I would talk it out with him/her and let them know that you know about there cheating and that if they don't stop the cheating you are going to get the divorce.I have caught my husnad several different times cheating on me over a 3 year period and for some reason i keep giving him chances to quit.I have decided that the next time i catch him it's over and i am filing for the divorce.I've had eneough.Hope everything works out with you.

That would depend on how long they've been married. If it was a long time I would try to stick it out and help them get better.

If you love them enough to forgive him/her, then you should stay by their side. Maybe the illness will bring you even closer.

Good question!!! Love it. I had to make a similar choice..he was dying and we were apart...I went back to help him live his last few month's happy with our daughter next to him

My head says go ahead with the divorce, but my heart I suspect would say otherwise in this situation if the illness were terminal. I think it would be hard to let go of all that history and abandon someone who is sick.