A baby to save a marriage is a good idea???

It depends on why the marriage falls apart. If the relationship falls apart because both parties are drifting apart because of boring marriage life and differing interest, a child is the catalyst. Both parties have something in common and will work towards caring for the baby. The relationship might improve too. However, if a child is decided just to "keep" the partner when getting out is the obvious choice, I would say it is not a wise choice.

A baby is a bad idea for a marriage that is falling apart. All that would do is add to the stress of the relationship. I think that she should try to work on the marriage first, and if that works out, then try for a baby. I think that you did the right thing by telling her that it wasn't a good idea.

I think saving the marriage should not be dependent on the baby alone but on the couples, if they really want to save the marriage, then there is no need to have a baby. If their marriage did not work and then they have a baby, it will add more to the conflict between the couple.

For a child to grow up healthy and well loved, both parents should know how to build a good solid foundation. According to what you're saying, your friend's marriage is falling apart. The solution to have a baby is certainly not a good one. Your friend should calmly sit down and talk with her husband about this matter. Rearing a child is no joke. It takes a lot of responsibility and commitment to raise one. Encourage your friend to think things clearly and with an open mind.

its not fair to have baby when marriage is falling apart as it is a disastuers step both for parents and the baby.it brings anxeity which further worsen the relationship.

I have found also years does in the situation of your friend and personally, the arrival of little Giuly resolved a lot of problems.A son is a common route...cause of pride...one experience that can help a couple to grow, to ripen and in may case,to find it self. @Max@

You are 100% right my dear. Very wise. I could not have said that better. They should go for some professional help. A baby will stress the situation more ways than they can realize. If is doesn't work out then, she and the baby will be in a mess more. I gave you a + rating for a fine post. It will help your star points. Don't forget to give a "best response" if you are pleased with my reply and +. Thank you dear. Keep up the good posts and advise.

I don't think it is ever a good idea. Unless she is willing & ready to become a single parent. I would get counciling first if she wants to stay married with a baby. I think a bad marriage will over all be undermore stress with a baby. There is the off chance that a baby could bring them closer though I guess. I don't think i would be willing to take that risk though.

every couple wanted to have a kid of their own. i guess that is one of the reason why each of us want to get married. a child is needed to have what we call "family" and in a way it will help to take the marriage intact as it is the only connection the two people have and no other. if they think that the reason why their marriage is falling apart because they dont have a baby then i guess they should take that as a consideration. BUT your friend should think first that this is the reason and no other. coz having a baby is really a huge responsibility to both couple and it needs a constant planning and taken cared of. i just hope your friend will resolve her problem as i really felt sad to know that another broken marriage had happen.

I think if you are having problems just keeping your marriage together, why would you want to bring a baby into this situation. I definitely don't think having a baby will help this situation. They should go to get some counseling and try to fix the marriage before they even consider having a baby.

The birth of a child is both the most wonderful thing for a couple, and the most stressful thing. A child will test a marriage in ways not much else can. Does she really want to do this to save her marriage or does she just want a child? A child might pull them together, but probably not. The best idea is to deal with the issues first and then think about it.

A baby is suppose to be a product of love. Hence, since their marriage is already falling apart, I don't think it what they are planning is the best way to resolve their marriage. It will probably just worsen things out. It might be able to help, but what if it won't? The baby is already there and would be affected with the situation. So better not. Remember, it's always a wonderful feeling that you bear fruit with someone you really really love the most. :)

If a marriage is failing a couple should not try and bring a baby into this world. If they want to try and save their marriage seek a marriage counselor, if anything. A baby may help for a little bit, but once all the ohhing and ahhing a new baby can bring wears off, then what? The couple would be in the same situation they are now plus have a child that is now wrapped up in the mess of it all. :(

to have a baby is a not such a good idea because after having the baby these problems will increase and if the relation breaks up then she will have to bring up the abby without its father. tell ur friend to try her best to have a with him and understand what is in his mind and what is disturbing him if she can solve the issue by that way then its much easier rather than breakign apart

tell her not to do it. having a baby is only going to make things worst. more heartache and drama. tell her to seek some marriage counseling maybe that will help with her marriage. I wish her the best.

No it wont. It would only cause more problems and now an innocent child is caught up in some mess. that is not good. Sorry.

Sutan74, I also have a lady friend who tried to save her marriage by having another baby. After a few months after delivering the baby, her third, the husband went back to his old ways and they ended up separated. So you were right, having a baby is not a good idea to save a marriage.

I've got a semi example of what you described. I have to say, I've heard of cases where the baby can save the marriage, but more than that I hear cases of things getting much worse, eventually leading to divorce. http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=658 There's the example. Note everything in it. If I find something else real quick I'll post it.

I personally don't believe that a baby is a good idea to save a failing marriage. Well, although it works to sum or some husband opted to keep the family intact for the baby, but the marriage is usually not back to normal. In cases like this, the baby is the one who suffers the most if in case the marriage will indeed fail. Having a baby is not easy, it is financially, physically and emotionally stressful especially during the early years and I don't think such pressure is a good factor to add up to a failing marriage.

I think it is worth saving the marriage by having a baby as the child always brings happiness and joy to both the parents. Of course at times it may bring a financial stress but this can easily be overcome with a little bit of making more effort and being more responsible.As you know that marriage is not a game to play and end it up whenever we get bored its an eternal bonding. But I agree that sometimes we make a blunder by marrying a wrong person and suffer for a life time, in that case it is better than it be broken and get relief.