Your Matrimonial Bed

thats true.. ifeel the same way as you do.. it will spoil the intimacy of the relationship...which is more important than being able to sleep comfortably...moreover they will get used to sleeping together i mean used to get some sleep when the partner has some problems, after a certain period of time...

I have answered a similar discussion about this, but feel pretty passionately about the topic, so will share my opinion again. I have read studies that suggest that sleeping in seperate beds and or bedrooms will help a relationship, not hinder it. Experts equate this with the fact that when both partners are well rested they will be more easygoing and less likely to argue. I could never sleep in the same room as my partner on a nightly basis. I am a light sleeper and his snoring and thrashing keep me awake. Not to mention the fact that he steals the covers. If I got such a poor nights rest, you would not want to mess with me in the morning!I'm sure that sleeping in the same bed works for some people - I even have friends who say they have trouble sleeping without their spouse in bed with them. However, I think there's also a lot of people who get poor sleep due to their partner's snoring or other annoying behaviors, but cringe at the thought of separate beds because it goes against what society tells them they should do. They might not even realize how much their sleep is affected until they try sleeping alone. Have an open mind people and think for yourself people. I think sleeping in separate bedrooms keeps our relationship much healthier. We are both easier to get along with when we are well rested, so we don't argue as much. Also, we don't have the same work schedules, so we would always be waking one another up at all hours of the day and night if we slept in the same room. We still cuddle on the coach before bed or craw into bed with one another on occasion, but it's nice to always have the option of your own quiet space. I don't really get why waking up and falling asleep next to each other is such a big deal. I have plenty of quality time with my partner filled with physical affection and interesting conversation during the day. I don't feel the need to give up a good night's sleep just so that I can be in his presence. I would rather be well rested so that when I see him the next day (and he's actually awake), I am happier and more energetic and can better enjoy our time together. I don't think this means that we don't love each other as much as other couples or that our relationship is doomed. I think it's just the opposite. I get frustrated because people are constantly judging us for it, when we have a better relationship than most of them! People are afraid of anything that goes against convention, even when experts have done studies that suggest that sleeping apart helps a relationship, not harms it. If sleeping in the same bed were the key to a healthy marriage, than why would the divorce rate be so high? A lot of things contribute to a successful/unsuccessful relationship, and this is just one of them. Of course, I'm sure sleeping together is just fine for some of you and I'm not going to judge you for that and tell you that it means that your relationshp is doomed. But please, just stop judging me! I've heard enough, as you can tell from this long ranting post:) And if you think that you might be getting a poor nights rest, just give separate beds/bedrooms a try for awhile. If you don't like it, then you can go back to sleeping together.

"And i cant believe just because someone or one of you will have a problem such as snoring and stuff, one will opt not to sleep next to you anymore. Now that hurts!:P" - it doesnt hurt at all...he snores (and farts), it keeps me up, drives me nuts and makes me cranky...I thrash about in my sleep which keeps him up and makes him cranky...He's a cuddler, I'm not in fact I cant stand being touched when I'm sleeping (its a trigger)...I smoke before goin to sleep and when waking up which is something he doesnt care for....so yea....we need to have our own rooms LOL So how can sleeping well by sleeping in a separate bedroom all the time can help make a relationship healthy? - because we arent tired, miserable and at each others throats because we've kept each other up all night long with the thrashing, farting, snoring, slapping him cause he's trying to cuddle and so on.. Wouldnt that at least take away the intimacy in your relationship even just the evening ones?:) - nope..not at all..if we want to be "intimate" either he comes to my room or I go to his and when its done we go back to our seperate rooms Wouldnt that mean you miss out all the joys of ending your day and starting it with the one you love? - To be perfectly honest with you I dont want to end my day by getting into bed with him...when my day comes to an end I like to have a cup of tea, watch some tv or lay in bed and read a book (he goes to bed at 8:30, I have insomnia and generally lay awake til 11 or so EVEN WITH my medication and if i forgt to take it, I'm up most of the night)....I like to end my day ALONE, unwinding, relaxing and so on.. Wouldnt it be lonely waking up in the middle of the night with your husband in the other room rather than next to you? - not at all...Wehn I wake up in the middle of the night (which is fairly frequent) its not a gentle waking up..I usually bolt up, gasp and then try to get my bearings and calm myself...the last thing I need is the guilt of my waking him and him touching me and asking if I'm ok....

oh no my boyfriend sleeps in the same bed every once and a while he will fall asleep on the couch but that is ok but if you are married and have different bedrooms then why be together. just get different houses then.

Ohh! who write that article grrr!!! a misleading information lol!! I think you made a good point sechsey sleeping on a separate bedroom will lessen the intimacy being a couple. It never crosses in my mind that I have to be sleep in our reserve room everytime my husband snores like a ship whistle when he is sleeping lol!! What I did is I made it a point that I will be the one to sleep first before he did lol!! I would not trade a good sleep in the expense of my husband presence I love to be my husband * even he snores like a ship whistle* because our time is limited together and having a separate room is advisable only for couples who have somewhat suffering from ailment and the other one needs a good sleep that I can say is tolerable but in a young couple like me I don't think so It's a no..no.no lol!!

I agree with you that you would miss a lot of intimacy with your spouse. My wife has a tendency to snore, but breath Right strips help alleviate that. I have a hard time sleeping alone when my wife is not home or she has left the room for various reasons. I think that by learning to sleep in the same bed, as your spouse is important in a marriage. By separating, you are living almost separate lives. As married people, we are one with our spouse and need to learn to live as such. By living separate lives, we are avoiding working things out and are setting ourselves up for an easy divorce.

well I know that at times, we do go to the other room to sleep if one of us is having a hard time, but now that we will be no longer having a guest bedroom, we will not have that option unless one of us sleeps on the couch. we are downsizing and though at times I do think that having a separate room is sometimes helpful when trying to catch zzz's it is not as fun when you have to leave the room. I know a few people who do have an extra bed just so that they can for sure get their sleep...

We could easily have seperate bedrooms since we have plenty of empty ones since our children are grown and have lives of thier own. For 26 years I have slept cheek to cheek (you choose which set of cheeks) with my husband. I would never change that. To hear or feel your husband move in the night beside you is comforting . Not annoying. I have a worse sleep if he is not in the same bed as I am . He feels the same way. I would never recommmend 2 seperate beds for a happily married couple. Seperate bathrooms.....well that is a completely different post.

I am a big hater of snoring, hahah.. well hate is a string word, so I should revise my statement, but I really do not like sleeping with people who snore cause I seriously will not be able to sleep. But then if ever I get married and my husband snores, I know it will be a problem for me but then we have to resolve that, maybe there are ways to stop snoring, which I know there are. I will try my best to find a solution to that. Just to avoid the necessity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. Because that totally would kill the intimacy, would we let a snoring habit ruin everything for us? NO, we do something about it!

Somtimes like once a week, I have to go into the guest bedroom in the middle of the night so I can sleep. My husband always has something ailing him and it makes it hard for me to sleep. I only leave when he starts snoring and I have tried several times to get him to be quiet, and it doesn't work. It does take away the intimacy when I have to do that more than once in a week. I wouldn't ever move out of the room completely, but I have had to move all of my make up and some clothes out of the room so that I can get ready in the morning while he is still sleeping. I try to keep everything in one room so that we are still "one" but it seems like it is having a negative effect anyway. I don't know what to do, I mean I guess I could lose the sleep those one or two nights a week so that we wouldn't have to become so divided. It just makes me feel so terrible when I go without sleep for so long.

As an insomniac I see where this article is coming from. A good nights sleep is very important in a relationship and seriously, when a partner snores and it keeps you awake, that second bedroom is going to seem VERY tempting! I'm an insomniac (as I stated) and so rather than disturb my partner by tossing and turning all night, I opt to stay up till I'm so tired I can barely stay awake, THEN I know I can go to bed and actually sleep without disturbing my partner. One of my friends is an insomniac also, and she sleeps in the spare bedroom when she can't sleep on a night. She says not disturbing her partner is better than having them grumpy with each other the next day because she kept him awake with her tossing and turning. Insomnia is a horrible affliction - and it's not always east to shake it off. If you have loving partners like we do who understand, the loss of intimacy isn't such a huge problem. It can be made up in many different ways :o)

well here is the two things ...as it describe that both partners need good sleep hence its actually not wrong having separate bedrooms ..provided if one of them is having problem ..you are having two bedrooms not because you hate snoring but because you want both the person to sleep nicely...i know as two partner loves each other hence they can sleep together and can ignore the snoring and i think it gradually grows and its actually people choice ..end of the day both should be comfortable

Yeah Im not gonna lie, Thats shady!!! Id want my husband in bed with me. Thats one of the joy's of marriage. This society dillutes the sanctity of marriage, it's really sad:( It makes me question what kind of society our kids will live in, probably quite scary!! However I will be sleeping with my husband regardless. If he's got these problems I would invest in the best pair of earplugs money can buy!!! On top of there being a major intimacy issue, its not good to show kids that that is normal, because it's not!!! There are divorced people that still sleep together, in more than one way sometimes but still...seriously?!?!If they can do it so can everyone else...LOL Crazyness!!

I would rather sleep in the same bed with my husband. I really enjoy falling asleep in each others arms and waking up next to each other. Now if it snored or talked in his sleep I might consider it sometimes.

For the first time in our marriage, my husband is away for more than two nights in a row. I find that I don't sleep as well as I do when he is beside me. I can't imagine not sharing a room and a bed. There is more to intimacy that sharing bodies, and I think I would miss out on so much if he was in a different room. I don't care that he snores - I'm usually asleep before he is anyway.

Would you change your mind if your partner snored? Hmmm...

Sometimes an extra bed could come handy especially if you really want a good night's rest because you tend to wake each other up whenever the other goes up for a drink or a trip to the toilet.

My husband and I have never really shared a bed. He prefers the couch and I don't take it personally because I prefer not to share the blankets. But the thing is, I learned that he feel safer for the family if he is near the entrance of the house, that helps him sleep. I think that is sexy and so we actually got kids out of the deal and we get sleep too.

I am not sure about on having 2 beds for a couple just to get a good sleep every night so that they can have a great day tomorrow when they wake up! What will be the used of the word "Couple" when they are not sleeping together in one bed? I think the best solution for those problems regarding sleeping like "Snoring", "Insomniac" and etc is to get a One big King Size bed for the couple so that they are still sleeping on one bed. I don't think that having two beds in one room is healthy. Well that's my opinion. Have a nice day ahead.

I for one am a fan of the seperate bedrooms. My boyfriend snores like crazy, has to have a light AND the tv on. That is just way to much for me to deal with. It's bad enough to be in the next room and have to hear his snoring and the tv at intermittent periods throughout the night. It really depends on the person. I HAVE to have it quiet and as dark as possible. I leave a touch lamp on low for if the kiddo needs me, but sometimes even that is too much for me. We never have slept in the same bed, we are big people and have just never had the bed for it. Has intimacy dwindled... yes, but we have been together for 4 years and have a kid together. Its more about being tired after a week of working for him (hes a truck driver) and I'm tired from being the housewoman. Especially with a VERY active and VERY nerve fraying child running around for 16 hours out of the day. We do however find time for the small things. And there is a genuine appreciation there of knowing we both got the rest we need to do what is necessary to keep the house running.