When will life get better?
By patgalca
@patgalca (18391)
Orangeville, Ontario
March 15, 2007 7:57am CST
Does anyone have the same feeling I do? Stuck in a rut never able to climb out. I have joined PTR sites that have been very slow earners so I bailed. I had another accuse me of cheating, so I bailed. Now I had one delete me because they said my user info was not checked. I checked it twice. Everything looked right to me.
I went to see my psychiatrist the other day. Although I told him I was not depressed he said my questionnaire signfied that I am slightly depressed. I said it was all due to outside circumstances. He agreed - stress in marriage, money, illness, life in general. How can those stressors be fixed? Does anybody have any answers? He didn't.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. If I get to sleep at night, I awake early and cannot get back to sleep. If I go to bed late, I sleep well but have to force myself out of bed for fear of sleeping the day away. I am so tired. Just so tired of it all.
I read inspirational books. I've watched "The Secret" (and will watch it again). But it is just so frustrating. I know so many people are in the same boat, but that is not encouraging is it? And then there are people out there who are just too busy to care. That hurts.
Yeah, bad night again last night. LOL! So pick me up, my friends. Turn my frown into a smile. Cheers!
8 people like this
24 responses
@BarBaraPrz (47667)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
15 Mar 07
Well, Pat, I don't know what I can do to pick you up, because I'm down too. One thing I do know, is that psychiatrists rarely have the answer, just a lot of questions...
Have you tried screaming?
3 people like this
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 07
LOL! I am trying not to scream because at this very moment DH is redecorating my 10yo's bedroom. He is not much of a handyman. They have done a wonderful job with painting but I have heard a lot of cursing and swearing come from three floors above. I am trying to be calm.
2 people like this
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
15 Mar 07
WoW That sound like me just a few months ago!
Then it dawned on me that I was the only one who could change
the way I was feeling.
First sit down with a pen and paper and write down all the things that are bothering you, no matter how small. Then asked yourself "what can I do to change
this?" Start with the first thing on your list and search for a way to fix it. If it can be fixed, fix it, and if it can't be fixed your wasting time worrying about it, mark it off. Think only good thoughts, avoid negative people and make things happen. Get out and meet new people. Do the things that make YOU feel good.
Be happy you are alive and whole. And remember no matter how bad things seem today theres always a brighter tomorrow to look forward to. I care because I've been down that road myself. Once you change your way of thinking you will see and feel the difference. Read the Rockfeller Files it will help you to change the way you think. http://www.therockefellerfiles.com/?download=21781
Have a HAPPY Day
3 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear things are not going well for you right now. (Key words - right now) We all get into slumps and some last longer than others. I know for me, I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to let things get me down. It was a very hard habit to break, but I just started "being" happy. I started acting happy, thinking happy, I just put a positive spin on anything. Eventually, it got contageous and things just "got better". I know this sounds really corny, but I just made a mental decision to not be misereable any more. Now, I did have to change some things in my life (I got divorced because I had to face the fact that it just wasn't working) but dumping all the negativity around me made the world of difference. Give it a try, just tell yourself that you're happy, it might work for ya!
Best of luck!
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Yup, like I said, it was a very hard habit to break. It did take a lot of work, and it was hard. I was just determined so it worked out for me. I do hope all works out for you as well!
@patootie (3592)
•
18 Mar 07
My rut just gets deeper and deeper .. I am getting financially worse off each year which is unlikely to ever change as I can't work ..
I am fed up with being ill although having never been well in my life I wouldn't know what it feels like to wake up bright and fresh and raring to go and full of energy ...
I long ago stopped being envious of others seemingly never ending joy in life as it simply made me even more disappointed and depressed with the way my life has stalled in neutral ...
BUT .... do you know I am sooooo happy that this is all that's wrong with my life .. we are the lucky ones .. we can think for ourselves, we can use our skills to help others who have even worse problems than we do .. and we can appreciate the daily mini miracles like a spectacular sunset ... a bird singing it's head off with it's pure joy of life ... we are not incarcerated, mentally impaired, or so physically damaged that life is a constant hardship ..
Whenever I feel 'extra' depressed or life seems 'extra' hopeless .. I take a minute to reflect on just how bad my life really could be .. that always nakes me feel glad and joyful ...
2 people like this
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
18 Mar 07
Yes, our illness is not progressive, and it is not fatal. We are lucky for that. Unfortunately I am struggling with a husband who thinks I am well enough to work (he doesn't know the extent of my brain fog) and is on my case all the time now to get a job. I have tried to get part-time work but nothing has come and I don't know whether I'd be able to handle it anyway. I am also dealing with having lost my father a year ago. He was my support system. He never criticized or judged me and said "It wasn't your fault you got sick". It is really hard being without that support because now I feel I have none. DH has done a 180 on me.
@BarBaraPrz (47667)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Mar 07
Yes, because we look whole, people don't believe that there's anything wrong. I remember my husband once saying (near the end) "It's all an act, just to make my life miserable!" (meaning his life). And some years ago, a work friend kept complaining about his wife being "lazy" and not wanting to get a job... (she had fibro). I tried to set him straight, don't really know if I did. People who rarely deal with pain do not know how tiring it is.
Hope you're feeling better today, after the all sunshine yesterday and today.
@domesticengineer (576)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Whenever you're feeling like this don't look up because you will see a lot of people with higher status in life, happier, wealthier, people who have more achievements in life. When things go tough, try to look down then you will see people with more sufferings than you actually have right now. Again, you are better than any other person and be thankful that you even have computers which others cannot even afford to buy because they just can afford to buy food for daily survival.
1 person likes this
@prajesh87 (46)
• India
15 Mar 07
life will get better the day we know and understand our inner self.
3 people like this
@timou87 (1638)
• Singapore
16 Mar 07
im really horrible at giving advice, when sometimes i could be in use of some myself, but all i can say is to cheer up there is more to this world and this life than what is going on around you try to look beyond your own life and see how you can touch others.
1 person likes this
@vinu123 (224)
• India
16 Mar 07
i think you are overreacting with the simple fact, people seem to act with you normally as far as i am concerned. These things with most of us on a daily basis but don't just go to psychiatrist just because everything around 8us is going out of our ways. I think you should sit down relax & think about what all happened to you, how you should have faced them ^ how did u react to those situations? Then be your own psychiatrist, consult yourself, cure yourself. Even i face lot of situations & problems like you & even feel of going mad with them, but whenever i start feeling like it, i sit down relax & think over the mistakes i did & solution too. The suddenly everything goes right, everybody starts feeling nice & situation is under control now.Well & the book you mentioned was never read by me & i feel should also give a shot & read it over. Tel me does it cure mental patients? i am just kidding. Well my last advice to you & to all all of you who are tired & tired of being sick, live your life happily with a nice , big smile on your face because smile doesn't cost anything Does it ? i don't think so.
1 person likes this
@lalav1 (1052)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Psychiatrists are really just for giving you medication. If you really feel in the dumps, consider seeing a therapist. I went to one who helped me tremendously. I had some real issues. It sounds like you do as well. The first therapist or counselor I ever went to sucked, but luckily the second one was a perfect fit and she charged depending on your financial situation. I love her for all she did for me. I first did individual therapy and then group therapy. Group therapy can be very helpful. It's scary at first, but it's worth it. You may not like it at first, but give it a chance if you consider trying it.
Wish you well,
Leigh
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
19 Mar 07
Yes, my psychiatrist recommended I contact our local health unit. Hopefully they won't charge too much. I used to see a therapist at Catholic Family Services. I went for four years. She was really helpful and I really liked her and she only charged me $10. Now they want to charge me $30 and the same woman is not there now. I am going to check with the mental health clinic because I think they can also find me a job compatible with my illness.
Thanks for your best wishes.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
16 Mar 07
Try meditation. You can borrow a free tape at the public library. This will give you peace of mind. Once you have peace of mind you will sleep better.
Then you will be more postive about life.
1 person likes this
@jojobang (8)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 07
galca...i dont really agree with "stuck in a rut never to climb out".you cant climb or you the one that dont want to climb???how can thosed stressor be fixed??try to be positif (+) and not negatif (-)!!!i mean if you sick and tired been sick and tired, dont you ever put a fullstop at the sentence of that.say like this to yourself.."i sick and tired of being sick and tired, what should i do??try to love your life...galca. thers no problem created with no solution.and thers nobody create problem for you, you are the cause of this problem.my opinion,try to be positif in your life. if you dint find any solution to your problem,the last solution is pray.
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
15 Mar 07
OK, did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? Stop exercising so much! If you find that difficult to do, stand on your head & you'll turn that frown into a smile and get your exercise too. j/k
Thought I'd try to brighten your day with just a little silliness. Hope it at least brought on a faint smile.
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
15 Mar 07
LOL, I've been destroying my apartment too. Mine is due to a garage sale this Saturday though. Wish it was for decorating. :)
@ipodbaby (53)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Keep yourself busy man! Do the things you enjoy doing most. Do the things you missed doing while you were busy on something else. Have a planner and plan the week ahead of time like what time to sleep, what time you should wake up, your activities for the day; be discipline enough to follow your planner. Have a balance time for sleep/rest, leisure and work. Put everything in God's hand. I believe He has a good plan for us all. We should take advantage of the trials like these because these would make us stronger and better person. All of us experience these stressors. Time flies so fast. Just enjoy every sec of it instead of complaining about how life sux. You'll pass through it anyway.
@edz3105 (66)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
The answers are in you as well. My opinion was, in life theres no word perfect. All was in a balance and you couldn't have it all. I know you were not referring to perfection in life but only how could we make it better. The answers will be find within ourselves.
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
16 Mar 07
Well i think life will get better as the country grows yea , as more jobs will be created and salary will be increase eventually life will be yea
@OmegaSri (37)
• India
16 Mar 07
Pat...just break away from your life patterns that you are
engaged now.Get your psychiatrist,inspiartional books,friends,computer,internet all out for atleast 7 days.
If it could be 21 days that's great.During this space just be yourself.Relax and just be yourself !!
My friend - come down to earth.Stand on earth and make life simple.May be in 90 days you will be smiling like anything !!
@sweetsue (758)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
take it easy my friend. Have you come across with Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata"? you see, it is very inspiring. This world is indeed harsh but at least we should strive to be happy. Your happiness lies on you. Just be contented, remember we can not have everything in this world. But the world is huge for the taking. Let's be a survivor and make the most out of it rather than getting sick and tired with life. Relax and take things lightly. Be optimistic and everything will be in place sooner than you expect it.
God bless!
@lucy67 (819)
• China
16 Mar 07
i can understand how you feel because sometimes i have the same feeling. when the outside situation is bad, it's really hard for us to cheer up by our inner force. anyway, let's believe we can overcome those terrible situations and feelings. they will be gone. if you have such a belief, you will feel better.
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Mar 07
I try. I didn't mention in this post that I have fibromyalgia. I have had it for eleven years, so these problems have existed that long. I asked my mother a couple of years ago when this would end (the financial difficulties). She asked me how old I was, then said when I'm 50. I laughed and said, yeah that's when our house will be paid off. Actually it won't though. I think we have 9 years left on our mortgage but I'll be 50 in 5.5 years.
