Married Life

Okay, it seems that a lot of people are commenting the same way. And I agree with most. Marriage is what you make it. As long as you are considerate of each others feelings, get your own space, have your own friends as well as your friends together. You can have your life together as well as your lives apart, as long as those lives apart won't compromise your lives together. Know what I mean? You need that space apart to make things intersting in your marriage, have your separate friends and time apart so that there are always things to talk about...blah blah blah... Marriage isn't a sacrifice I don't think, at least it doesn't have to be. You shouldn't give up "who you are" just b/c you got married, isn't that who they fell in love with and asked to marry in the first place. But don't get me wrong, it is easy to lose who you are apart from your spouse b/c in essence you are becoming one once you get married. You just need to make sure it doesn't happen, and you seem like a very strong individual and will stay strong to who you are!

When you get married you are not only responsible for yourself but your spouse. It can be taxing and hard to live life with the new challenges that being married will bring you. You have to pay bills for two, get approval before spending or buying things that you wouldnt have thought twice about getting before marriage. You have to put the needs of someone else above your own needs. It can be hard to go from living a single, do whatever you want life - to being a married person, who checks in and has someone else depending on them.

There is a saying in the east - mind is the root for all bondage as well as for all freedom.It entirely depends on us of what we take out of life using our mind - bondage or freedom ?? Marriage has become a taxing hard affair because both the partners have made it that way quite unconsciously.In a better world marriage will not just be the coming together of the male and the female.It will also be the meeting of intelligence and creativity with trust and responsibility inherent in the male and female !!

I don't think marriage is supposed to be a taxing hardship. If it is such a hardship, why get married in the first place. Marriage is about loving and respecting your partner. It is about wanting to spend your life with someone who enriches your life. Being married does not stop anyone from pursuing a career, unless that person chooses not to pursue their career and then blames getting married. I personally believe that you can be married and still have a fulfilling career. You can still hang out with your friends and go out and do stuff. Marriage is supposed to be fun and great and wonderful. I will admit, my marriage is not always fun. We have our bad days and hard times, but we want to make our relationship work so when we are having issues, we try extra hard to remember why we wanted to spend our lives together in the first place. We still go out on dates, even after 6 years of marriage. My husband believes it is very important to never stop dating your wife. If you let life in general bog you down and allow it to make you forget what fun it was to be dating and stuff, then your relationship gets stale, married or not.

I do not agree that marriage is a taxing hardship. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. The important part of marriage is knowing that it needs constant work, but that work is not so much a hardship if you truly love the person you are married to. Wake up every morning and decide to stay married. Make the concous decision, and attack your marriage with everything you have, and marriage becomes a joy, a partnership, your completion.

I don't feel like it was any kind of sacrifice. My husband and I lived together for nearly 4 years before we got married, so it was basically the same thing, just without the certificate. Marriage only stops you from doing that if you let it. If you marry someone controlling who wont' let you live your life and be your own person, yeah, you are gonna have some issues. But If you find someone who understands that marriage is about 2 individuals coming together and still being able to be their own people, you'll have no problems.

I really like your character, gloom. You have a very strong character inside you. You are right. People always did plant the pessimist inside themselves before experiencing everything. To think bad before the fact shows up. Because I saw many of marriage couples who had been above 15 years of marriage, but they still a couple until now. They are tolerating and understanding what their partner wants. They make a good approaching even in a great conflict and can find a solution by not persisting self-egotistic, they did have the ego, but use it well in finding a solution. If a career woman can stand firm against other influence, and choose the best for the family, her husband, her kids, and pro-long the existence of her family. She will survive, because she knew when to reward which slots that is deserved for it. She knew how to control herself. She knew how to position herself, in office is different is when at home. What they mentioned about sacrifice is, because there is some urban culture who will ease a single woman to find a job rather than a marriage woman, it's not fair to me, but it's the fact. Mostly they cover their status, and run for hidden status for single woman, I think this is what they pin-down as left her husband and kids to find better income. I know what you are going to say, but we need to accept this kind behavior existence in some countries which have a different employee's job application method. By the way, nice thread.

Uh usually its the uninformed saying things like that. I've seen plenty of young married people that were in college, getting education, vocation, training and a few that were already quite successful in life. I have seen the opposite of the spectrum though, people that had to put careers on hold or change plans, that is possible too. For the difficulties in marriage it depends on the people and the relationship itself and again I've seen plenty of examples ranging from "good" to "hideous". For some marriage is a hardship due to poor planning, circumstance or other variables in life (some assign it to "fate" or life's unfairness). For others, hardships and difficulties pop up but understanding and hardwork counter it for the most part. Not being able to have a career, or go out or have friends based on a spouses say-so could indicate character flaws in that person and trouble for the relationship/marriage entirely, in fact there is already a definition and word for that... abuse.

Well dear your priorities is shifted...when you were single you can do whatever you want and have more time to do it and when you are married you are not thinking as one person but as a unit...your time will be shifted to be spent with your spouse and creating a family and time for females in particular would be in to nurture and care for the family while the men have to go out and support the family...but then again in today's society the men supporting the family thingy is out the door because females seems to be taking on both the roles of the men and the female....

Marriage is a special thing. And we have to treat marriage as a kind of business to run it well. We should just enjoy it.

marriage is a team effort

Being married stop you from having or starting a career? I don't think so. Marriage doesn't stop you from soaring up high to your career. It's the family composed with kids. If there are kids in the family and you're the mother that might stop the woman for having / starting a career. But there are lots of mothers with a good career out there. Going out?? Marriage doesn't stop you from going out too. That depends to both of you. Maybe it limits the time you're out because there's someone waiting for you at home but it depends to you and your partner. If you like party and it's no big deal with your husband because you're responsible enough to let him know where you are or what time you'll be at home(if he demands for it) then everything should be fine. Having friends?? Marriage doesn't stop you from having friends. Again it depends to your partner. If he's possessive then you'll have a problem. Marriage is sacred. Maybe other people describe it as a sacrifice because of the responsibility you'll have for your family (other people fret for doing their responsibility at home). Lastly, they say it's a sacrifice because a lot of people stumble with their marriage which shouldn't be happening. When I got married I was even happier compared when I was single.