do you feel unappreciated?

I am so sorry you feel that way and have to put up with that. My husband took forever to understand that what I did 24/7 was like a job, only I didn't get paid. When he lost his job, and had more responsibility with our son, he understood. Now he does everything without my asking. But every once in a while, it's good to hear that you're appreciated for the things you do.

Hi happy2bmommy. Don't feel guilty about what you do or don't do. Is he the one that controls the money? If he is, then don't think another thought over it. Until he says anything, don't feel guilty, and even then, you deserve everything you splurge on. After all, you are the one who stays home and takes care of the house and children. You are the one who does his laundry, right? You do the cooking? Right? Now, if the only thing you do is stay home and you don't do a thing, that would be another story. Don't feel guilty. Be blessed!

I so can sympathize with you because I remember being you! I was a stay-at-home mom for the same reasons... it was more cost efficient. I didn't want to work to pay daycare to raise my babies! My hubby wouldn't hesitate to buy a $60 video game or anything else he wanted, while I felt guilty for buying myself something I actually needed! He would make comments about my 'being able' to stay home all day. He didn't realize at what cost either... I was lucky to get out of the house for anything that wasn't a complete necessity like shopping or Doctor visits. Well, he lost his job so we traded places and I worked out of the home while he worked at home... this was the first time he really appreciated what I did and don't you know after a couple weeks of 'holding down the fort', he offered to work two jobs so that I could stay home and said he wouldn't trade places again. He went back to work and felt like GOING to work was a real break! I can only imagine how he would've felt if this trade had taken place for a couple of months. I know I would've went crazy because although he was great at the Daddy part~he couldn't keep up with all of my other responsibilities! I saw a joke once about a man saying to his wife, day after day, "Well, what did you do all day...nothing?" and one day he came home to a mound of dirty dishes in the sink, dirty laundry piled up, dust and dirt on the tables and floors and no dinner prepared. He had the nerve to say, "What have you done all day?!" and she replied, "Nothing, as usual." (it went something like that. Sorry that I'm not great at the retell!) I thought it was a great example of making him eat his words and have no other choice but to appreciate the efforts his women put forth on a daily basis. Now that my kids are school-aged, I'm starting classes to become a S.T.N.A. but don't think I haven't reminded the hubby that we will be on the same playing level... earning the same and working the same hours... which means I will be able to help with 1/2 the bills and he will have to pitch in to help out with 1/2 of the home responsibilities. He actually still had the nerve to say to me on my youngest's first day of kindergarten, "So, what are you going to do? Start job-hunting?" I said, "Um, no. I haven't had a vacation in 12 years so I think I will start that!" I will take the blame for his insensitivity or inappreciative attitude because I've really spoiled him! His only home responsibilities were taking out the trash and yard work. I've always served his dinner, ironed his clothes, ran his baths and rubbed his feet and/or back after a long hard day of work. Plus, he comes home to happy children and a clean house!

being stay at home mom and taking good care of your son is more than having a job.It's a profession you do and give your best and yet never get paid. I admire women like you who gave up carrer just to be able to brought thier kids into person they like them to be.It is a tugh job so you don't have to feel guilty..even as you splurge for your self sometimes..you deserved it! so stop feeling guilty.No amount of money can equal the love, support, time and life you're giving to your family.

You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty! I'm a stay at home mom too and I know how it feels. But remember that you do have a job as a 24/7 mom. I agree that it's not worth it to work just to pay for daycare, but at least you have a plan and are trying to take classes. And yes it is very easy to feel unappreciated after you spent the whole day changing diapers and listening to crying baby. Especially when all it would take to make you feel a little better is to be thought about. If he spends $50 on himself, why shouldn't he give you $50 so that you can go out and pick up something nice for yourself. It's only fair.

All the time. I do a lot for people but it doesnt seem like they appreciate what I do for them.

Hey, I totally understand exactly how you feel! I stayed at home with my children for 2.5 years and after my maternity pay ran out, I had nothing to contribute to the finances. I to do not want to go out and work for nothing as it would only be paid out to the daycare. I always felt that I had no say in things. I never asked for anything, unless one of the kids needed something...hey, half the time I didnèt even know how much money we had. I felt like I didnèt have a say..alto my hubby is not like that at all..that was just something that I was struggling with. I never got anything new, christ I am still wearing some of the clothes that I wore while I was pregnant...lol He would buy what he wanted and such as well. It is hard being a stay at home mother. You not only have to deal with the children all day...you have other stresses as well. Finances can be a big part of it. I did end up going back to work about 5 months ago. I was able to get a part-time job and now make more part time then he does full time...HA HA. Whos laughing now. I would never say that to him..mind you.

well here is my thought. and i thought alot about this for a long time. we have children because WE want to fulfill our lives, and make OUR lives fun. we do this for US. anything we do for them is because we do it to make ourselves feel better-really-we want them to have things we didn't or we feel happy when we make them happy. Its all about us. not really the child. So if we feel unappreciated-don't. If you have no expectations from the children about being thanked and loved from giving them things, then you will not feel unappreciated! we (as parents), should give our children a nice warm place to sleep, food to eat,good morals, and lots of love,,,anything after that is gravy on the potatoes!

I am a stay-at-home mommy too! But my husband tries to let me know he appreciated me-even though I don't think he understands that we work 24/7 with no time off. He will say something on the weekend about "just wanting a day off where he doesn't have to do anything" so I started asking him when my day off was going to be where I didn't have to do anything....dishes, vaccuum, laundry, diapers, cook...since I brought things up that way (and not mean or anything just in a playful way) he has been 10 times better! He lets me get out of the house by myself-and insists on it if I don't want to. I love going to the movies and pigging out on popcorn so I do that a few times a month. Even though I come home to a messy house it is nice getting away.

Your job of being a mother is paramount. As long as you're doing a good job at that, your husband should appreciate it and not complain. It's not fair for him to make you feel guilty.

I understand how you can feel guilty and I do not beleive it is your fault. Ever since our mothers stood up against the roles their mothers had to fulfill( a woman's place is in the kitchen so now it has become a sin to want to stay at home and make motherhood a full time job. I say be proud that you have chosen the most difficult and uncelebrated profession in the world. Let that noble choice show through your son as he grows into a man so that his wife or girlfriend will be appreciated and supported.

I really don't feel appreciated, why because it is too bad for you watching your husband going to the market himself and also, it is not just good for your health staying one place. I mean you need to go out sometimes even if you are not going somewhere so as to exercise yourself, meet and interact with people and creat a good relationship with people outthere rather than staying back at home. As you said you need to be educated online so you can gain more knowledge. Think about it. Thanks.

let me put here what i feel.....please dont be dependant on any ones words of appreceation or resents...u do what ever u feel is worthy...its your life..love your husband more than your life...respect him and his feelings but above all please respect yourself...your husband may not be in a state to appreceate or console your feelings in his busy life of making a living..be strong and boldly and intelligently do things....if a mistake happens correct it next time...and one more thing is that u cant always be with ur son and help him grow...u do some thing online to make some money for ur small needs and can help u build your confidance tooo...take care ..God bless your family

I totally agree with you. I am in the same position and I feel like I am worthless at home. It takes a lot to stay home with your young children, it's a full time job in itself. Stay strong and one day our men will realize how much we do contribute. You are doing the right thing for your son. He will be much better off with you at home because you can never trust others. It's true.

I can tell you that if your husband resents that you stay home with your son, there's something more to it than what you're thinking. Is he unhappy with his job? Does he feel you care more about your son than him? When is the last time you spent time together as a couple? Sit down and speak to him about how you're feeling. It would be natural for you to feel guilty about splurging on yourself because you aren't working and your husband is already making you feel guilty about it. Bottom line is, you need to find out why he thinks you stay home all day and DO NOTHING. I am a stay at home mom and I homeschool my kids. I can tell you that I definitely work my tail off, many times, more so than my spouse and he now freely admits that. Good luck to you.

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby works and I don't. I used to feel really guilty about spending any money on myself until I realized that my husband couldn't afford to pay me for all the things I did/do around the house. I am the personal accountant, the housekeeper, the laundress, the personal chef, the daycare, the dog groomer, etc. The one and only time my hubby ever said anything about it being his money since he was the one working I pulled a Debra Barone (from Everybody Loves Raymond) and tallied up what he would have to pay me in one month for all the things I did. I gave it to him and then transferred that amount of money out of the checking account and into my savings account. I also informed him that I would expect to paid every two weeks. He just looked at me like I was crazy and then when he found out I had taken the money, he got real quiet. He told me to put the money back, stop acting like a child and that I stayed home all day-how hard could it possibly be. I smiled and told him "hmm, let's find out" and I left. He had to call in sick to work and stay with our very very activie 4 year old. When I got home 5 hours later, my poor hubby was laying on the couch. He had somehow managed twist his ankle, burn a pot while trying to make hot dogs, lost one of our dogs (we found him later), lose a toy down the bathtub drain, tear the screen out of a window and get a tape stuck in the VCR. The next day he brought me flowers, offered to make dinner and set up a direct deposit for a percentage of his paycheck to go straight to my account. He has never mentioned my staying home all day again. Sometimes, our men just don't get how hard we actually work all without any pay.

I am so sorry you are having these feelings right now when in reality you should be enjoying your child, not feeling guilty. I did the same thing when I ended up staying home with my 3rd child. I finally decided that my job is 24/7 whereas husband's job ended at 6 in the evening. I talked to him about it and told him all the things I do in a day and he finally realizes that I work my butt off for no money. He appreciates me a lot more. Try talking to him, or go on strike for a few days. then he'll see. And as for the guilty for buying something thing, you have just as much right to get what you want or need as he does. Like I said, us stay at home moms work hard for no money. We are not slaves, and if you want something, then honey, you go get it and enjoy it.

yes i always felt it! its really hard to live in this world when people that surrounds you are so insensitive! It really annoys me somehow but i have nothing to do coz i dont wanna force them to appreciate things that i did for them... I want them to see and realize how things turns good bcoz of me..

It is all right for some women to stay at home to take care of the kids if their husbands appreciate what they are doing. But your husband fails to see the importance of what you have done, so I think you'd better try to make him realize you are contributing to the family just as he is. Besides, don't feel guilty. You have the right to share your husband's earning. It's really good for you to learn something now. The kid will grow up and go to school and then you can go out to work.

i think u r quite right when u say that u feel unappreciated. in fact it is the case with most of the women , wether they are working or stay home wifes. the lack of appreciation however does not limit to husband only, it goes with most of the family members u r directly linked to eg: ur inlaws, sometimes kids also. the only way to come out of this situation is to build ur own self esteem. REMEMBER , if u love n care urself -- others will learn to love n care for u!