Moving to Florida....faster than we thought...
By chaygylmommy
@chaygylmommy (2470)
United States
March 17, 2007 10:51pm CST
Ok, here is our new plan. As many of you know, my husband got a promotion and now we have to move from Texas to Florida. My whole family is in Texas and I was born and raised here. I am very excited about moving, but also nervous and sad since I do have 2 small children and I will be leaving my family. We have always been within an hour of each other and now there will be 2 days between us. Anyhow, my husband has been in Florida since December. Me and the kids were going to move in June after school was out. Well, my son is just in Pre-K so school is not actually "required". We have talked about it and now have decided that we are going to go ahead and move May 1. I realize it's just a month early, but we added things up and by moving now and staying with my husband in his small apartment for a month or so, we can save almost $1000 a month! My husband has an apartment in Florida for $675 a month and that is EVERYTHING included! Without our rent in Texas, electricity, water, cable, etc, we will be almost $1000 saved PER MONTH so we can work on paying bills faster and we can look for a house together instead of my husband trying to find the time to find a house by himself. With this plan, we can find a house somewhere in Florida and move before school starts in August and we will have a few more bills paid off. We will be sacrificing some things. My cell phone will go bye bye for a while...my piece of crap car will be gone so we will only have 1 car for a few months, etc...BUT we will be together, we will have a nice apartment (although small), we will save money and pay bills.
My concern is with my mom. I am 36 yrs old and still afraid of my mom. My mom is NOT happy I am moving...she thinks it's stupid and selfish. She doesn't understand that this is what is best for our family. I have a lot to do in the next month--a big garage sale, packing by myself, etc. I would love to have her help, but I know I probably won't. I am going to need her help as well as my dad and my sister's help on the 31st of April and 1st of May to pack the truck. I am not going to take everything, but still I will have a truck load. I can not load it all myself and I know she will not be happy. Anyhow, I am nervous and excited all at the same time..
Has anyone else ever had a big move like this before?
5 people like this
11 responses
@yvonne1968 (1063)
• United States
18 Mar 07
If i had a job offer and the money to get a place and move. I would go to florida in a heart beat. My parents would probably either stay in ohio or move too. I would move in a heartbeat because my family that truly loves me has been living there about 7-8 years now. My aunt,uncle and my favorite cousin and her family are down there. I have been there to visit them now once. I loved it.
My aunt and uncle are in Palm Harbor and my cousin in Holiday. They are about 45 minutes from Tampa and 2 hours from Orlando.I am not sure where you are moving but i do know the amusement parks down there they offer very cheap season passes to their parks for residents of florida.
4 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I have moved a couple of times in my life but not out of state.
I think your om is perfectly able to understand this is best fir your family. My mother used to try that stuff on me and when it stopped working, which she figured out when I stopped explaining thing to her over and over again, she learned to respect my decisions, at least for a while.
Once you get moved I think you are going to find more freedom and you will see what you mom is up to. This will be good for your family in ways you cannot know right now. Your children will be healthier for the distance, as will your relationship with your husband.
3 people like this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I think you are correct! I know I will miss my parents and my sisters, but I know that my relationship with my husband will be better. My mom has a way of making me think bad about my husband. And, even when I don't want to, I start thinking maybe she is right about this or that. Anyhow, I know that everything will be better moving early and getting some money rounded up and everything. Thanks for your feedback. :)
2 people like this
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
18 Mar 07
Although I've lived in Florida all my life, I have moved from one end of the state to the other (16 yrs), then back to near where I was born (30 yrs ago now). It was over 550 miles from place to place since Florida is such a long state. It's hard to leave family and friends and move to another place, but there are times when it's necessary. I can understand that you are nervous and excited...who wouldn't be? What area of Florida are you going to live in? You're moving at a good time (not too overwhelmingly hot yet...LOL), and you should be able to find the right area before school starts in August. Good luck to you and your family with this move and WELCOME TO FLORIDA.
You are just going to have to live with how your Mom is and put your own family first. I do hope she and your dad and sister will help you pack toward the end of April. Let us know how it goes.
2 people like this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
18 Mar 07
thank you so much. i am excited about moving. it's coming on me fast and now that we have moved it up, it's even worse. LOL oh well. we are going to move to clearwater first to stay with my husband in his little apartment for a month or so while we look for a bigger place. it has to be within about 30 minute drive or so from tampa...anywhere in the tampa area. my husband's job is in the tampa area so somewhere close to that area, but we don't want to live IN tampa. we want a smallish town if possible. we have lived in a smaller town of less than 10000 for years and fell comfortable with that.
1 person likes this
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I sure have. Only we were leaving Florida after 12 years. You will love Florida, I went there from Louisiana and I would love to go back. My then hubby was a jerk, he got fired from a great job, then talked them into rehire & 2nd chance, so we had to move to another state. Well, he left first, as the kids were still in school, high school/college. So that left me to sift through and arrange everything for the move. We had to pack up after being in the same spot for over 10 years! No family except for my kids. But we did have some great friends from church who came to help us load. About your mother, she probably means well and is acting out of hurt, BUT...you are a grown woman with your own family. You have to do what you have to do. She will get over it and accept it, she thinks that by scaring you she can make you change your mind. But your family is your main and only priority and concern right now. You are doing nothing wrong by moving, you can come back to visit too, and also Florida is a great place for them to visit you too. Good luck & God Bless.
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
18 Mar 07
thank you so much for the words of encouragement and support. i am sure i will love florida. i have heard so many great things and my husband has already been there for 3 months and loves it. i know my mom will be ok with it all. she will have to be, i guess. i know that i am a grown woman and my family is priority number 1, but my mom sure can make me feel bad about that. LOL
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I moved a year ago with my husband from Pennsylvania to N.Carolina. It certainly isn't easy.
My kids are all big, two are grown, married with children, and I think the hardest part is missing them and my friends. I lived almost my whole life in PA, and this is like a whole new world here, everything is so different.
It's been a year and I am just starting to feel settled in now, but still have moments of terrible homesickness.
If you have any questions about anything, give me a holler.
2 people like this
@txwoman36 (173)
• United States
18 Mar 07
sorry to hear your family is against you moving. maybe your mom is afraid that she wont see you if moving to florida but just let her know that you will visit and she can come to visit you. my parents got a retire home in the hill country area and when moving my mom to the retire house was a pain. within this yr my dad and i will be moving to the retirement house but hopefully the next time wont be so bad. we have quite a bit already moved out of this house so next time wont be so bad.
2 people like this
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Sound like you will be much happier once you move. Saving that much money is great. I am a firm believer that families sould stick together. When you get married, your spouse becomes your family. Good luck to you.
@skittles46 (388)
• United States
23 Mar 07
The largest move that we have made was from Lawrence, KS to Oklahoma City, OK. BUT, we seem to have been in a pattern for a while of moving every 6-12 months, sometimes out of state, so we got pretty used to it. I have to say the hardest move for me was when we were evicted from an apartment in OKC because I had been the one working and was instantly put on bedrest due to complications in my pregnancy. Because of being on the bedrest I had to basically do nothing of the packing and loading.
I actually have not moved by myself before, but we have moved many times where it was just my husband and I and varied amounts of small children :)
As far as your mom goes, as others have said she is acting out of jealousy and hurt. However if she has nothing nice to say about your husband that isn't good for your children to hear either. In my experience there is little you can do to make her happy in a situation like this. My mother in law is similar, and lived with us for a short time, until she jumped my then 5 year old for asking her a question and my husband kicked her out. She has never approved of my relationship with him, and tried to get me to break up with him several times before we were even married, used to call me up and tell me everything bad about him she could come up with, trying to turn me off I guess.
I know you will enjoy being back together! Even if it is in a small apartment for a time. And saving money is always a good thing, especially shortly after a move.
I would offer to come help with the packing/garage sale/etc, but I'm afraid with just me and bringing 3 children, 2 of them smaller, I think I'd do more damage than good!
I hope your family can move on along enough to help you in your time of need however, instead of just blaming your husband.!
@momaloti (36)
• United States
23 Mar 07
How exciting!! Definetly sounds like you guys have it all planned out and the moving early is a smart idea. How great to have that extra money to pay off some bills and for saving. Will definetly be on some better footing for getting a house.
I agree with already stated about your mom basically lashing out as a sort of manipulation tactic. I am sure she doesn't want you to go and if she can't stop you, she is going to make you feel guilty for doing it. But don't. Your hubby and precious little ones are the people you need to do right by now. They are the priority. Some distance could bring perspective to her.
I did make a big move several years ago. Born and raised in Illinois and my fiance got transfered to Virginia/DC area. He went ahead and I moved out there almost two months later by myself...had quite a blast driving that moving van across all those states!! It was very difficult to leave, but I didn't have any children yet so I didn't have those emotions to contend with. My mom probably would have been much more vocal about leaving if I would have been talking grandbabies away from her.
I have been to Clearwater several times, gorgeous area. My dad used to live in Crystal River, but I believe that was closer to an hours drive north of Tampa so would be to far for what you are wanting. Just remembered, had some long time family friends that lived in I believe Brandon there near Tampa, was only there twice so don't know much about it.
Best of Luck!!
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
18 Mar 07
I have moved perhaps 5 times in my life and it's quite a number considering I am only 6 this year (NOT lol :p).
But then again, in Singapore, the island is so small to start with. Though I may consider each move to be a distance, it is still not comparable to moves across states in e.g. the United States where you are.
Have fun moving, my friend. You need to *find* the fun. :P
2 people like this
@speedy1279 (2665)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Well I was raised military so I can't remember how many times we moved while I was growing up. Also, I want to give you a big WELCOME TO FLORIDA!!! I live in Florida and love it. Where in Florida are you moving to? I live on the east coast near Cocoa Beach. Well I hope your move goes smooth. It should be any day now since today is the 27th of April. Good luck!!
1 person likes this
