Am I confusing my son?
By c2adams2
@c2adams2 (351)
United States
March 18, 2007 1:43pm CST
I have this thing with my kids....I answer every question they ask as completely as possible. Take today for instance. He noticed that the air outside turned blue. I explained that it wasn't the air, it was a cloud that covered the son. We did an experiment by holding a piece of yellow paper over the light to see it change colors. Then we moved on to a discussion of cumulus and stratus clouds (because those are the only two I remember) that turned into a discussion on tornadoes. He asked if a tornado could hurt the sun, so I printed a picture of the solar system to show him where the sun was and where the hottest and coldest planets were.
The problem is that a lot of people tell me that going to in depth with answers only confuses a four year-old and that I should just answer his question without extrapolating. Is this true? Am I just putting too much information in his head, to the point where he cannot distinguish between answers?
6 people like this
25 responses
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
19 Mar 07
As long as your son seems interested about what you're telling him, I think you're doing a wonderful thing! Instead of just blowing him off when he asks a question, you're giving him a serious answer, spending time doing an activity together to help him understand, and encouraging him to be curious about related topics. Even if he never remembers or understands the specific information you've given him, he will definitely remember the time you spent talking to him and exploring with him. And who knows... you could be raising a future scientist here!!! Good luck!
2 people like this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
I think that he is still quite young to take in that much information. However...if you feel he understands and is smart enough to grasp what you are telling him then why not? It never hurts to teach your children as much as you can...that way he will like learning and hopefully do well in school and in life...
2 people like this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I think its great when parents will take the time to give their child a complete answer, as I see to many parents give a short answer, so the child just doesn't ask questions any more. My youngest daughter and I still enjoy long discussions about a variety of topics today and I'm so glad we can do that now.
2 people like this
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
19 Mar 07
I think what you are doing is exactly the right thing. When kids are interested enough to ask questions it is our duties as parents to answer them as fully as possible to keep their enthusiasm. My daughter used to be like this, but as soon as she got to school she stopped asking questions which was a real shame.
2 people like this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Thank you! I actually find it fun! We get to learn a lot, because when he doesn't know the answer we find it on the internet. He even has his 'learning picture folder,' which is where we put pictures we print out of stuff like the solar system, and tornadoes.
1 person likes this
@sangita999 (210)
• United States
19 Mar 07
you are doing great.it will take lots of patience to answer the question ,kuddos to you.you can give the answer in a simple way,that they can understad,if they want more answer you can continue them.
2 people like this
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think what you are doing is wonderful. I wish my parents would of did that with me. The more he knows the more excited life would more exciteing!
1 person likes this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
19 Mar 07
My father did do this with me, and I think that is where I got it from. Every time I had a question that my dad didn't know the answer to we pulled out the enciclopedias. Even when we didn't ask, like durring thunderstorms he would take us on the porch and tell us about all the different things we see. I think that is why people tell me I think to much!!!
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I think it's fantastic what you are doing. Children (especially very young children) are a whole lot smarter then we like and want to believe. I say continue on what you are doing. You're son maybe the youngest kid to graduate from hight school because you simply too the time out to answer his questions to the best of your ability. I hope I can be the same way :) I think he'll love and appreciate you more for it to in the future.
1 person likes this
@infobyaj36 (907)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Hi c2adams2,
I am amazed that people are telling you that you're going into to much detail. I beleive that these people are just anoyed with the fact that you take this much time out with your child and it makes them look bad as they only give a quick answer and move on. What your doing is wonderful. Your child will grow to be an intellegent young man and he will have his mom to thank for taking the time to answer ALL of his questions. Good for you and keep up the good parenting.
1 person likes this
@infobyaj36 (907)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Learning something new everyday is top priority in our home. We have five children one of which has recently moved out on her own. Every night we have dinner together at the table and after grace we go around the table and ask everyone what they learned that day. If for some reason one of them feels that school only contained recapping what they have already learned then they are required to look up a word that they do not already know the meaning of. (We pick a word for them) They need to find the word use it in a sentence and then retain what the meaning of the word is for the next four or five dinners. Our oldest misses family dinner time the most. It is a great way to start a conversation with your kids other than the usual "how was your day" and it keeps us close. Table time is a great place for "family time".
Because you have younger ones: When the children were to young to look up words and were not in school yet we would teach them something new everyday that they could talk about at table time. And because I am a proud parent and like to brag I will also say that we are the proud parents of honor students. We are never too young or too old to learn.
1 person likes this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Wow! I love comments like this! They make me feel great!
I can hope for nothing more than intelligent children. The world is full of people who move through their lives without the thirst for knowledge that makes us better ourselves, and I want my children to seek out new things to learn every day of their lives.
1 person likes this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Honestly, I'd rather be able to explain as much to my kids as honestly as I could. No point in dumming it down or lying to them to avoid telling them the information they seek. They're like sponges. They soak everything up. I'd rather be honest about everything then to have them go to school and whenever they're being taught something, them telling the teacher, "Well that's not what mommy told me" you know?
1 person likes this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
19 Mar 07
How true! There is nothing worse than "popular fact." I see a lot of it here on mylot, where people believe the things they have been told and don't know that they are mistaken. That is one of the reasons I try to answer his questions, because I would rather give him too much informtion than have him go through his life basing his decisions on innacuracy and lies!
@amitksing (1323)
• India
19 Mar 07
I think you should explain them about things only after estimating their level of understanding. Like, the way you explained them the solar system using drawing a picture, I think that will have helped him understand things much better. Try not to be too complex, afterall, they are kids. Explain to them giving day to day examples and things that they understand better! Its really tough answering to kids, but I am sure you'll slowly learn this trait! Happy Parenting!!
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think you are doing a great job of explaining things to him!! Kids that age seem to absorbe so much information so explaining things to him like that is great!!
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think what you are doing is fine. I think the more informative you are, he will be more prepared in the future. It is good that you take the time to explain these things to him. Some parents don't do this and cause more confusion.
1 person likes this
@adicsen (32)
• India
19 Mar 07
yes sir ur confusing ur son 4m the child days.Becz when he will be in teen age then his mind unable move with the beside friend's.n U may disspiont tht i had created this.So give a simple answer tht's more than enough.U cound't worry becz in child stage he is able to ask then when could u think that he may ask the same in future.Then u give brief data.Otherwise u keep diary 4 ur sons questions n tell him when is in teen.
So don't do such type of mistakes.Some mistakes can be handled any time but some mistakes can't be handled.,
1 person likes this
@malambing (78)
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
As long as he understand what you are saying I think there's nothing wrong with, though going very deep sometimes is too overwhelming for a child his age to take. I think what is important there is you gain his trust that whenever he has questions he can go directly to you because he knows he can count on you to give him the answers and not go to other people and might get the wrong information.
@srinivas_sri7 (94)
• India
19 Mar 07
Its so interesting about your sons thuoght and also it nice you are giving correct answers which keep him in the correct path and also it our responsibilites to tell each and everything.
YOU ARE THE GOOD MUM
1 person likes this
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
19 Mar 07
The only person who really knows if you are confusing your four year old is the child. I think that some people do not give their children enough credit. Generally speaking if your child, whatever the age, seems to follow what your saying, understand it, and asks natural questions, then continue to teach the kid, whatever age they are. Generally speaking most things can be explained in a way a small child can understand it. Small enough to surprise some people. If this kind of conversation takes place on a regular basis then I would suggest you acquire reasearch materials and begin to use them in your discusions. This will allow you to teach the child how to use the materials. This way even you could learn something.
1 person likes this
