Why do my kids hate me?
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
March 19, 2007 7:06am CST
Or maybe the more appropriate title is why is God punishing me? We're trying to quit smoking, which is hard in itself. I had a hard time falling asleep last night and 1 hour after I did my 4 year old starts yelling, I don't even remember what she wanted, but I know it got me out of bed. Then I wanted a smoke, so I sucked on this nasty lozenge instead, went back to bed about 45 minutes later. I was comfy in my bed and almost asleep when my 17 month old starts crying. We're getting rid of his bottle so I go ge a sippy cup to take him a drink, he doesn't want it, he just wants to cuddle me. SO I cuddle him for a few minutes and lay him back down and go to bed. My son starts screaming and I'm thinking I'll let him cry awhile, it's sleepytime and he needs to learn this. SO hubby starts complaining..am I gonna let him cry all night? When it's been like 2 minutes, and he was nasty and tore my head off, so I went to get our son. Who upon seeing me thought it was playtime. Lucky me. He wouldn't even lay on the couch with me. ANd I want to smoke, and my kids won't sleep, and I'm tired!!! My son fell back to sleep when my oldest was getting up for school. Thanks buddy. SO I gotta get to work, I've had 2 hours of sleep, and a 3 hour AYSO board meeting after work. I swear that my kids know what days I'm gonna need my rest and plan their antics accordingly. How come my hubby doesn't feel the need to suffer along with me? I truly think my kids may hate me..
7 people like this
30 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Ha. I'm hoping you weren't seriously wondering if they hate you or not.. (: I know how you feel.. last night the hubby looks at me and says, I'm tired of being tired! I'm done with the whole baby stage for awhile.. (wehave a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old) When my oldest was really sleeping well, thats when we had another one.. thankfully we only want one more, and we are waitin until the youngest is three.. that way we only have one keeping us up. Good luck!
3 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I wasn't serious, it just seems they can home in on it when I'm tired and need some rest. I had my first 2 kids 7 years apart, and the last when my middle child was 3. It works out great, and I think sometimes I'd be nuts by now without my 11 year old helping out.
2 people like this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
I know it can seem frustrating not seeming to be able to get a second of sleep, but it works out... Maybe you can talk to your husband about helping you out a little more... I think maybe he needs to be an active part of the night routine as well, since you both work....
sorry you have to feel like this hun, and thinking about it, you haven't seemed to get much relaxation, time to yourself or sleep in recent days....
I hope that quitting thing is going good for you. If i can recomend anything maybe try getting a bottle or so of one of those detox drinks, their amazing, and really help when your quitting something. I used to be SERIOUSLY addicted to coffee, and i mean it was bad, and every time i would try and quit i got the WORST withdrawals, but one day i decided when i was quitting that i was going to get some of that stuff, no withdrawal, no problems, at all. i didn't drink coffee for about a year and now i drink it once in a while, and don't usually feel the need to drink lots.
hope your doing well
Ash
4 people like this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
21 Mar 07
soccer mom, yes I definently feel your pain though, My six month old is so hard to figure out. Just when I think he's starting to sleep through the night, something will happen and he'll wake up 3-5 times in the middle of the night. *sigh* I would see if the hubby was willing to trade off weekends with you. Or even see if he'll take fiday night and you take Saturday night? or if you are working (I can't remember if you said you were or not.. sorry.) see if he'll switch every other night. He may just not realize how much you need his help. It can't hurt to ask right? Good luck.. Hopefully you'll be getting better sleep soon!
1 person likes this
@aleks_saricx (410)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I don't think your kids hate you, I don't think they CAN hate you. Is this the first time this happened? If it is, then you are not struggling. I wish my mother was like you. You should take a break and have your 'hubby' do some of the work, kinda like how my father works from 1 to 11, 2 hours away. Me and my 7 year old brother take care of our selves while my mother sleeps, reads magazines, doesn't cook, wash clothes, or anything. So why doesn't ur partner do anything? Does he/she work?
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
25 Mar 07
He works 12 hours a day 6 days a week, sometimes only 5. He does all the laundry and this weekend he painted my hall and entryway, which was no small task. I only work 30 hours a week max. I just value my sleep because I volunteer alot with stuff the kids are active in and do a lot of running. Thanks for the compliment aleks! :)
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think that your children are just being chilren. I really think that they are a little to young to hate you, you are just having a very hard time right now becasue you are trying to stop smoking. My mom is trying to stop smoking and I have 6 year old twins that drive her crazy so I am now trying to keep them away from her becasue she gets angry very quick. Just try to calm down! I am so happy to hear that you are stopping that horrible addiction. God Bles You!! Good Luck!!
3 people like this
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
19 Mar 07
If it makes you feel any better, your kids love you, God loves you, and every other parent on this planet goes through this.
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
20 Mar 07
When my niece was younger I swore she had an alarm on her. I'm talking back when she was a baby up till she was six. It didn't matter if I waited 10 minutes after she went to sleep or 2 hours, as soon as I laid down she woke up. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep though due to her waking up that way. It would be very nerve wracking. Her mother and I when possible would alternate our sleeping times but it wasn't always possible due to hours worked. I think I was permently sleep debrived at that time and always had those nasty dark circles under the eyes. Not to mention the crankiness that went with it.
You are not alone in this. I don't know how or why the kids do that but they do. Make your hubby start to suffer with you. Have him help out so you can get some good sleep. Maybe then he'll be more understanding.
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
19 Mar 07
I'm sure your kids dont' hate you at all. I do think though that when you are low they realise this and play you up more.
Maybe this isn't the right time to stop the bottle with your child, perhaps it would be better to wait until the cravings die down a bit.
3 people like this
@magnel (2263)
• India
20 Mar 07
I don't think your kids can hate you... they are very small to hate someone, as for the stuff they do every they see you... is because they love you so much that always want to be with you...
I would suggest that taking care of them should be shared between both of you...
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
19 Mar 07
LOL--- I know you won't like my answer-- but thanks for the laugh! I pictured your every move-- Your kids don't hate you-- they love you-- Can't you tell--- they needed you-- all night-- Yep I agree-- Make your hubby get up with them once in a while-- Its hard when your kids don;t sleep well at night- I hope you get to sleep tonight-- Sounds like you're going to need it! I hope your meeting went well-- I also hope your children sleep through the night!
@Kaeli72 (1229)
• United States
19 Mar 07
*lol* Hello again, Soccermom.
Reading your discussion was rather funny...on my side. I know at the time you wanted to tear off someone's head but you hung in there. The answer to your concern here can be answered in many different ways...so I'll try my best, though it will be bits and pieces.
G-d is not punishing you. I don't know how you feel about him, but he says to give thanks to him in all things, good and bad. Be honest. He doesn't care if you say, "Hey G-d, I really don't like what you've given to me. But, I thank you because you had told us to do so and I'm doing it because I want to be obedient to your Word."
Your son probably had a bad dream and just wanted some mommy comfort. You can't blame him for that. It's hard to realize that babies can have nightmares too. My Little Man will have some disturbing night times and I'll be right there to pull him out of it just so he knows he can depend on me.
Now, the hubby...I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole! *lol* My hubby wants me to get a night time job and yet still manage to take care of the kids during the day time. He thinks he'll watch the baby in the mornings...yeah...right! *Snorts* I'll believe that when I see him get out of bed on his days off to take care of him.
Have you thought of working from home?
2 people like this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
I'm certain your kids don't hate you - although I can tell you that they do have an inbuilt radar for those nights when you need your rest LOL.
Quitting smoking is very hard, but it can be done as proven by this discussions I started 4 days ago.
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/887154.aspx?p=1
Take it a day at a time, or even an hour if it seems like a day is too much to think about.
Your husband probably doesn't realize how hard you're finding it to stop smoking, or if he's trying to quit too, then the snapping at each other is understandable. The withdrawals can be nasty nasty things.
Hang in there! It does get easier I promise you, and the health benefits far outweigh the cons of continuing to smoke.
I wish you luck.
2 people like this
@MissMo (170)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Ugh that sounds like an awful night! I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, my roommate wakes me up at least once every night and last night she began snoring at 2 AM. I've had little sleep this past weekend and am at work right now and exhausted.
Feel better honey, maybe you'll get some sleep later. And good luck with quitting, I'm a smoker myself, so I know how hard it is to fight those cravings.
2 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Thanks MissMo. I'm doing okay with the smoking today, we'll see how tomorrow goes. LOL I hate it when my hubby snores, I usually go on the couch then!
1 person likes this
@kclaret59 (587)
• Philippines
20 Mar 07
i dont think they hate you. it's just one of the sacrifices a parent has to make for the sake of his/her children..
2 people like this
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I doubt your kids really hate you! I know how hard it is to give up an addiction and I am sure you are really stressed out right now. It disrupts your sleep patterns enough without kids getting you up at night also. And kids will pick up on your stress and react to it. It would be nice if your husband would help during the night, but many men think child care is the woman's duty. You might point out to him that you work also and would appreciate his help with the kids at night. I think you have the right idea of letting your son cry at night if there's nothing wrong with him, when you respond to his cries it will just reinforce his behavior.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 07
No Soccermom they don't it seems like that to you because you are stressed out with stopping smoking. Your Husband is to. And I hate to tell you this but this can last a few Days. It is the withdrawl and I know it is horrible. I really hope that you will hold through there.
Big Hugs to you
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
19 Mar 07
First of all congrats on trying to quit smoking.What parent hasnt thought that at one point? I know I have. I have had plenty of nights like this, I have a three year old and when his sister was born 6 months ago, she had colic. It was like ok, got one down then the other would cry and wake up the other, it was a constant battle. I think it is weighing heavier on you because you are trying to quit smoking. I have not much advice for you,unfortunately, because I am trying to quit, too and it is really hard, especially with nights like this. but I am sure your kids do not hate you. Keep it up and stay strong you can do it!
2 people like this
