If people say no do you try to change their mind???
By weemam
@weemam (13372)
March 19, 2007 4:06pm CST
I don't drink , dont care for the taste and they say it loostens the tongue , well I chat all the time so we don't need that either , When I was younger and I used to go out with hubby and I asked for a soda water and lime , so many people would try to coax me to have a "real drink" , why do people think they now better than you what you want , don't get me wrong , I do now they were trying to be sociable and nice . tonight I was watching TV and the guy in Coronation Street( soap opera) didn't drink , the other one said " you are hurting my feelings now , I don't trust a man who doesnt drink , This was making me annoyed , Why just not allow people to do what they want do do , I am mad enough without it anyway lol xx
15 people like this
40 responses
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I(t would depend on what it was & who they were. If they are just shy or unsure then I may try to change their mind. I would try to change their mind if they were against something or it was dangerous. I know my sisters & middle child is shy. They have to be coaxed into things sometimes.
3 people like this
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
20 Mar 07
They just trying to know how severe is your NO. If they are your friend, suppose to be they want you to join with them in whatever they are doing and to them eventhough you are not into what they are into they will force you to try. They think what is good to them, is what also good for their friends. Me, i will just insist one time if i want something or trying to put up something and my friends say no. I will not ask them again when they say no. But sometimes im insisting things because i am confident that i can prove something.
@smithy86 (137)
•
20 Mar 07
I am the same, i dont drink. I dont like the taste. I am a bit of a control freak and drink makes you no longer in control of your actions so i choose not to. Some people say it makes them feel uncomfortable because when they are all out getting drunk im like the big mother who watches them and reminds them what they have done the next day when in fact i am the one who makes sure they get home alright and that they arent having their drink spiked. I still have a good time so i dont understand what their problem is. I will have a good liver when i am 40, they wont
3 people like this
@StarXiao316 (5)
• China
20 Mar 07
Hi Weemam,fully understood.Anyhow, i think cultures play an important role in such stuff. Like western countries, people seem to have more free choices and easy to say no if they don't want which in most cases won't hurt anybody.
But in most eastern countries,taking some no matter how little u may eat or drink is a kind of showing respect to the guy who insist on u to take some. Although i don't like the feeling of being forced to do something, but most of the times, to show my respect, i will still take some.
3 people like this
@enigma2core (137)
• India
20 Mar 07
I don't drink either and I know how you feel with people like that. Though there are many people who would understand your preference to soda and lime, there are some who have a habit of pushing and trying to get done what they want!!!
Coaxing once is fine and is considered to be a part of social mannerism, however, asking someone too many times despite of continuous refusals is forcing!!
I have learnt to swerve my way through with a quick smile and increased enthusiasm , because i think most of them force so that you get on the same enthusiasm level as them!
So, just "Cheers" and go on with the soda lime!!
Cheers
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
22 Mar 07
If anyone says NO, I accept it, I would never change or try to twist their arm because I know that they are only doing it because they have been enveigled into doing it. It's a form of bullying and manipulation. If you say NO you mean NO, you don't mean you decide for me or If I say no once and they ask again I better say yes to appease them. It's all about RESPECT! I don't drink either if someone asks me more than once I just repeat myself like a gramophone record, it's called assertiveness.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
21 Mar 07
Just hit them with a snappy comeback weemam..."I'll start drinking when you stop"
or:
"I promised my dear old Dad, I wouldn't take a dram till I was 120 years old. And I never go back on a promise."
Or something just as insensitive and silly as they are...lol.
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
19 Mar 07
People do this to me about drinking also as I don't drink and they also do it about meat. I've actually had someone wave their burger in my face and say 'come on you know you want some' its so annoying!!
2 people like this
@tess1960 (2385)
• United States
20 Mar 07
my gosh, that is not just annoying that is down right rude. you should cut loose and throw up on that person. maybe then they'd take the hint.
sorry that was rude of me, i am tired here. my daughters friend is vegetarian and we always made sure there was plenty for her to eat too.
1 person likes this
@alen0224 (527)
• China
20 Mar 07
Hi there, it is very hard to change one idea about something, if he says no to something, he must have his solid idea with it, so you need many tongues to change his mind. Usually if I encountered someone said no to something, I would let it alone, because I know it is hard to convince him changing his mind, I would try some actually things to prove if his idea is right, I think it is much convincing than the tongues.
2 people like this
@monkeywriter (2004)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I dont anymore. But as a kid I am SURE I did this. Tried to get my way and when I didnt I'd pout, I'd look sad, I'd cry. However, I only last made something say yes to a no when I kept waiting for the job I wanted. It was No for now and finally yes, but I couldnt get any other job and knew I was supposed to get that one.
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
20 Mar 07
Some people should know what "NO" means. They were rather stubborn to the bone and can't accept that not everyone appreciate drinking. Others can think that drinking make them look cool. Just ignore them, weemam. No use trying to argue with them.
@ucl800 (860)
• Greece
20 Mar 07
Well, I think that people are doing this because they think that they do the right and we (I don't drink neither) do the wrong. I am now 26 and I remember my father since I was 15 he was always told me: "Have a drink, come on you must be normal, drink something" And he is still saying that, and i am not even a guy, i am a girl.
I don't like when people are doing this because somehow I feel that they do not respect me. Ok, I don't want to drink alchool is that big deal?
The problem is that we have to live with this because most people react like this, no matter wether they are our parents, friends etc. So, be patient
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
20 Mar 07
Some people are just *ahem* more insistent. Just leave them be. I only try to be firm when I feel very strong about the issue.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
20 Mar 07
I respect people's decision. If they say no, I would not try to change their mind. I only try to persuade them :P
Often, I will only persuade if I think it is worth while doing so. Example, if I have tasted the drink and it is nice, and I feel the person can give it a try since there is no harm trying, I will offer him a sip just to try. If he don't want to, let it be. I don't force.
