how do you tell your 3 yr old daughter that mommy and daddy is breaking up?

I think you should just say that Mummy and Daddy want to live in separate houses. That you still love her very much and she will be able to see each of you whenever she likes, but things will just be a bit different. I think the best thing to do is to make the break up as normal as possible. Act like it is just a natural thing that happens like going to the dentist or taking her to nursery. The bigger a deal you make of it the harder it will hit her. In December I split with my partner. My eldest had just turned 5 and my youngest was just 2. We didn't make too much of a fuss, just explained that Daddy had his own house because we argued too much when we lived together. I helped him decorate their bedroom in his house and make it really nice for them so they look forward to seeing him. He will also come down in the evenings if they want him to and we are still friends and still have family outings sometimes to help them get used to the situation. I think as long as you don't argue in front of the children and make it obvious that you both still love them, then the transition can be a simple and easy one for them and for you. The most important thing for me was to not say nasty things about him to them. He is still their father and they need himt o be there, so thinking he is horrible for what he did to me, isn't going to help.

Everything everybody said above is extremely good and relevant advice. If I can add one more thing to it, make sure to say that it is not because of them at all. It is a problem you and your husband are facing together, not one that she has brought upon you. A lot of children's instincts are to blame themselves.

The child will be shattered. Please stay together for her sake. The child will never understand, because she would desperately want both Mom and Dad.

I honestly feel that there is no way you can tell a kid that Mom and Dad are breaking up. No matter what , the child will be shattered. May I suggest that Mom and Dad patch up and stay together. How do you accept the child to accept that and be mature, when Mom and Dad cannot be mature. Please stay together.

Hi. As for me you shouldn't tell it her untill she became older. Now tell her that mother/father has hard work.

its hard for a 3 years old child to understand that u want to break up to each other, maybe u have to think about it because the first person who affect of that is ur child.. tnx

Dear mquidem, Ever one who have answered your question here give you advice based on their experience.I am an elder and seen what is life.I wish my advice will not be taken in the wrong sense by you. I still feel that yourself and your husband, if at all you loved your beloved daughter, should sacirifice a little for her. Life is not only living happily. Sacrificing for others is also gives a greate satisfaction. What I want to tell you is forget about your seperation. Yourself and your husband should sit together and sortout your personel problems and make your life as a sacred event and make it an example to those who want to get separatted. In the long run you will find your family as the holy temple where you nurse your child and build a happy future for her. What ever may be your problems, you have to face them together. You have got married in the name of God. Now you believe that the God will certainly come forward to sort out your problems. Wish you and your husband a happy reunion and a happy mum and dad for your beloved daughter.

It will be a great harm for the 3 year old baby. A child can't understand the split now, but it will have larger effect once she/he grows to an adult.

It is one tough action to take that will have to go with the breaking up decision. Firs try to evaluate if the quit thing between you and your daughters daddy is for real. Granting it is, explain to your daughter the fact that daddy will not be home for sometime, if you think you and her daddy will not really have the chance to make up in the future, then tell it to your daughter strait. A 3 year old daughter will be able to comprehend what you will be saying and the earlier she knows the better. Sharing what is happening to your life to your daughter will help her understand other changes that will follow later. She will have to suffer adjustments as you will be but you will both survive better sharing the truth than hiding any. Do not underestimate your child's ability to comprehend what is happening around her, whether you tell it or not, she will feel or know, so just be honest and share truth with her. God Bless and may you cope and rise above every situation that may come your way. Be strong for yourself and for your child.

My son was 10 when my ex-husband and I broke up. And it is definitely tough to tell them about it. He cried for a very long time. But the thing I thought was really important was to tell him that it wasn't his fault. So many times children think it their fault when you break up. Make sure she understands that.

This is a hard situation to be in, and I went through this with my girl when she was 5. I explained to her as gently as I could that mommy and Daddy didn't love each other anymore, but that we both still loved her very much and nothing would ever change that. Granted she was very upset but kids do adapt and they adapt a lot better than we think they do. The fact that your daughter is so young may not really be conducive to actually telling her anything. I'm not sure if she'd understand what you're trying to say to her. That is something that only you and your husband know the answer to. We were told that if we really wanted to explain to our daughter that it would be better for the both of us to sit down with her and explain. In my experience it only made it more heartbreaking. I'm sorry to hear that you and your husband are calling it quits, and I hope you can both explain this to your little girl in a positive light. I wish you all the very best of luck.

I suggest telling her that daddy had to move to a different house because of his job, and that he was very upset that she could only live with one of you (her parents) but that he will still see her a lot and still loves her very much (I'm hoping this is true but don't lie to her if it isn't). I don't recommend telling her that it isn't her fault - at 3 years old, that thought may not have occurred to her and you don't want to put it in her head if it isn't there. When she is older and asks this obviously you can explain more, but no need to freak her out. Make sure she knows that you will always, always be there for her no matter what, and mean it. My mom was divorced when I was 5 and my sister was 2 - that phrase did wonders for both of us to know that although Daddy moved away, she was staying put. I think that is the most important thing is that she knows you are permanent.

You'll tell her that not every family stays together forever and that sometimes it's normal this to happen. And add that she will be seeing daddy whenever she wants.

she's only 3 yrs old. i have a 3 yr. old too myself and if that owful day becomes a reality i don't have to tell her i would just simply try and make our lives a better living environment. tell her you have to live seperately but try and work out some visitation with your husband where he will also pitch in and get involved in her life if he accepts to choose to. if he doesn't girl move on be good simple and responsible. good luck.

I think it will be easier on her now then it would be if she was older. Really you are right that she will not understand and the best the both of you can do is keep telling her you love her and no matter what you will always be her mommy and he will always be her daddy. I think that for the most part at her age it is far more difficult for you then her and she will adjust more quickly then you would expect.

i really feel pity for your daughter. It is hard for her to get used to the idea that mom and dad wont be together again. But I think by time she will get used to that and understands with your help both.

Sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time in life, anyway you are lucky that she is only 3 years old. As, if she is little bit older than that than it will be hard to explain but she is too young to understand so you can tell her in a calm way that dad going to stay away from us as he is doing some work..etc. I don't think this will upset her much, she might cry for sometime but it will be over soon. As a kid i have experienced this and till today the most painful days of my life were those when my mom and dad got separated once when i was 11 years old. And it really pities me to see the kids of such families. Anyway good luck to you and your daughter, hopes things work out as you wish to.

What everyone has said is very useful and good advice, but you have to remember, you're talking to 3 year old. It's likely she won't understand what's going on and it's likely she's not going to understand what you say. Just tell her the truth, not the brutal truth of courser. This is a very delicate and tough situation. She's too young to understand, but you can't just act and not tell her what or why, she deserves to know. When I was younger my mom and dad were always moving from eachother and fighting, finally, around age 10 or 11, they got a divorce. Even at age 11, I wasn't too sure what was going on, and my mother never told me. Just make sure to keep things as normal as you can with such a change, and let her see both of you as often as possible. Don't make the seperate living situations affect her too badly. She'll understand when she's older. I hope everything goes well.

There are books at the library that can possibly help you although i don't think you should tell her too much information becuase she just won't understand. The important thing to tell her is that even tho mommy and daddy don't love each other, you still love her tons... You can try googling it too...there might be articles on the net that may help. Good luck!!

At 3 years old her attention span is short and an ver abundance of information will hit the button. Just give her the basics that mommy and daddy are going to be in different places but you still love her. When she is ready for more information she will ask and you just have to provide the simple answers for her. Being young she will adapt quickly and being understanding and patient will be best. Having mommy and daddy arguing all the time would be much more traumatic for her.