Should I tell my sister he's not right for her?

being that You have been in an abusive relationship, you may understand that the person doesnt always 'see' whats happening or want to change it as they feel that is the best they can do. maybe you could sit down and talk to her about the things he does and see what her take on them is and just remind her you have been in her position. i guess it depends how close you are to each other and how much influence you may have. but even discussing abusive relationships in a more general sense might open her eyes to what he is doing.other than that i can only say that you need to be there to support her in whatever she chooses and help her when she (hopefully) finally sees what the relationship really is. it would be a difficult situation and i wish you luck and hope your sister will be ok...

TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!!! Has to buy her own engagement ring? GEEZ!!! Tell them!! Warn them, warn her!!! Tell her she deserves better, make her believe she deserves better. Women only stay with buggers like that because they don't think they can do any better. She may not listen, but atleast you have done your part. It's better than nothing. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!!!! Have them confront the guy if necessary. If I was in an abusive relationship, my family would probably take the law into their own hands. The fact that YOU have been through that should tell her a lot!! It might not, but it SHOULD.

Your sister has self-esteem problems. SHe willnot listen to anyone, she will see waht she wants to see and may get angry if you try to talk to her. She probably feels that she is lucky to have this loser. I don't know if she will listen to you or anyone else or that you can help her unless she wants to be helped. Talk to her, but don't expect much. The man is controlling and abusive. tell her that you think he is wrong for her, and that you will try to be the best sister you can and be there for her when she needs you. She will need you, but she can't see it now.

It appears to me she is happy with what his boyfreind is doing with her,otherwise she wouldnt have accepted his proposal. How can she accept his proposal? I think she's under threat,maybe your siter want to end the relationship,but is afraid of what he can do to her. With so many good man out there,why are there woman who prefer to be treated like slave? i know many cases like that in my country,i have a cousin who divoreced a good man to go work as a slave for a piece of SH*T. I think you should talk seriously with her,ask her if she's happy with him,and if she is,there's nothng you can do about it.You shouldnt tell her that he's not right for her,she's supposed to know that he's not the right person for her.

I think you have a better judgement than her. Your sister is in love with a pathetic guy. I pity her and I know as I sister you feel the same and you just want to protect her.Talk to her and tell her you are not trying to intrude but the way you are seeing things she isn't getting better. She's better off without him. Let her figure out what she has become because of that man. She should wake up and let loose. And I think your parents should know about this afterall they are your parents and they know what's best for your sister eventhoug she's on the right age laready. The point is she's blindfolded with her love to that guy. And she deserves better than him. Goodluck.

I feel sad for your sister. This is a very tough situation for you and for her:( I have found myself falling for that kind of guy before but never stayed with a guy like that. The best advice I can give to you is to get lunch or dinner with her and listen to her, you know that she is truely hurting. Telling her what a huge mistake marrying him would be a big no no to say to her. But I would ask her to tell you all the things that she actually loves about him. You will find that there isin't much she loves about him, but he has convinced her that she is no one and nothing without him. Make sure when you talk to her to tell her what she deserves. If she could only have a taste of what true love really is. She obviously doesnt feel good about herself remind her of how wonderful she is to you and everyone around her. She needs to hear that because if she goes thru with this marriage she will never hear those words from him:( Im sorry to hear about your sister and you as well.

If you are close to your sister, you can try to talk to her. If not, don't bother. When people are in love, they don't listen to anyone anyway. People seem to need to learn from their own experiences.

I have to say that if you tell your parents or try to talk her out of this that you may lose your sister completely. If she's in love with this guy then of course she's going to stand by him, and the pushing and pressure from her family is just going to make her more determined to make it work. So in trying to get her away from this man, you could just end up pushing her closer to him and away from her family. I would suggest leaving her to figure out for herself what kind of a man he is. This may be difficult and I understand, but one day she WILL wake up. Just try to make sure the family is there for her when she does. I wish you and your family the very best of luck.

It is your responsibilty to do that Dont think what shee feels Do your job as a brother

I have been in many abusive relationships too. Despite knowing it myself, I didn't want to admit it. Because I loved him. Now I know that it wasn't love, it was pureply the fact that I was scared to be alone. Honestly, I would tell your parents how he really is. I have a cousin and his fiance is a controlling girl. I hate seeing him go through it, but now they have a little girl together. That's the only reason why he hasn't left her in the dust. If there's a kid involved, it would be different. I would do anything to get her out of there before she gets hurt, because she knows whats going on, she just doesn't want to admit what he is doing is wrong, even if she is being hurt.

I think that if you confront her she will rebel and do what she's going to do anyway. Sh has got to know what he is doing to her but she prob thinks she cant do any better. I say lightly make your point. Then back away. Let her make her own decision. Then when it all falls apart be there for her and dont tell her I told you so.

I think you should tell her how you feel and let her know that youre concerned.

dear friend,stop her at any costs.my younger sister encountered even more difficult situation.she has a nice job and she is beautiful and very happy before she got married.her husband has been in financial difficults for several years.but he just kept it a secret,and pretend to be very rich,then they got married,when she was pregnant,she knew the truth and cried,you know,i once considered to reason her to divorce him to have a better life.but i hesitated and thought to let her kill the baby in her body or her kid will have no father is not good.so she had the baby and now,she lives what a life,her husband doesn't love her,he just want to let her support him.she pays all fees and even dare not to buy some new clothes for herself.and i don't know the future for her kid. so do not be hesitate to stop ur sister.do not let her fall into the pit.

I think that the best thing for you to do at this stage is just be there for her when she needs to talk to you. No one knows her situation more intimately than she does. She will not leave the situation until she is ready,even if you talk to her until you are blue in the face. I think if you say something now, you run the risk of losing her. Just be there for her and give her the love and support that she will no doubtedly need. She will talk to you about her concerns regarding her relationship when she is ready. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to be able to realize that things are out of control or that you are unhappy and that you need help.

It is just my opinion, but I would tell her in any way you have to, to wake her up! One of my little sisters did the same thing a long time ago. We all tried to warn her, but you know what they say, love is blind! She must really have it bad for him if it is this bad and she can not see it, so, go for it, but do it as loving as you can or she will just tune you out. I know this for certain. Good luck.

Please tell her. My sister was in a relationship like this until recently. From the beginning we told her he just was not right for her. She ended up having a child by him and they lived together for a few years. She had to cook, clean and be the hostess to all his parties of friends. It was to the point where he would control her weight and what she wore. It is not a good relationship for someone to be in. Maybe you and your family should sit her down and talk to her about this whole situation she is in. It doesn't sound like it is doing her any good to be in it if she is changing for the worse. I hope that your sister sees the light and finds someone that will give her what she deserves.

Well, if you care about your sister, then I think that you should definitely discuss it with your parents. Do not let her ruin her life with this kind of man but help her to finish this relationship and go on with her life. I am sure that there are plenty of better guys out there for your sister.

well you care a lot for your sister.so that caring should lead as far as she live in this world.its better if you go ahead with what you got in your mind.so make up your mind and try talking to your parents about this.all the best

I think you really need to talk to her. Try to persuade her not to marry the guy. You need to open this topic to your parents to. They're the be the first one that need to know what's happening to your sister.

I've been in a simalar situation with a sister and friend!! From what I've learned you need to be there be supportive, but at the sametime you need to let her know that what's going on is not okay. That if he loved her, like he says he does, that she would have to buy her own engagement ring. That he would do anything for her instead of the other way around. The sad fact that I had to face was that my friend didn't want to hear those things, and married her boyfriend any way. Not more that 6 mo after their wedding he tried to kill her. That's why I'm telling you to be supportive. You need to keep her close to you, so that she knows that she has somewhere to go and someone to talk to when things get bad. If you drive her way, she may not come to you when she really needs you.