If I could only split myself in half
By winterose
@winterose (39887)
Canada
March 22, 2007 6:50pm CST
Here is the dilemma,
You have to go to a very important function for your job, you are in line for a big promotion and you have to toe the line, do everything right because the powers that be are watching your every move. Your company only promotes people who put the company before everything else. It is a big executive position and will increase your salary by at least 10,000 to 20,000 more than you are currently making.
You need this money to support your family, a new baby is on the way the car is old and too small, and your daughter needs braces.
the problem is the soiree falls at the same time as your son's school play and he is playing the lead. He really wants you to go, you missed last years play because you were in the hospital for an operation at the time. You saw how hurt your son was. He was only 11 years old and you were the only parent not present. You don't want to disappoint him again this year. And besides it is his last year at that school, there will be no more plays to go to.
What do you do and why?
If you disappoint your son again, it may cause a rift between you that can never be mended. Yet if you do not show up at the function for work, you may risk losing the best job you can ever expect to have and in turn put your family's future in jeopardy.
2 people like this
15 responses
@coolchai (753)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
hello there, what you may do is ask for a substitute for your son's play. he or she may be an aunt or uncle who can video tape his play. i know im taking side of your career but who will benefit from it right also your family, also your son. so just be patient and be clear in your explanation make it a friendly one at that. make it up to him. give him a reward in having the lead role. When he gets older he will understand that he must only think of himself and he must think of the family as a whole. =) Godbless!
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I think this is a very hard question to ask oneself,I would be pulled both ways because I am sure that having a job is important but not disapointing a child can be to. And all the promises you make to him to make up for not being able to go is not really going to make him not hurt and he will remember this for a long time. I know cause I can still remember stuff and remember the hurt I felt because of it. I would try to do both. If it was at all possible. I would go to the thing for the office but ask to be excused early I am sure some if not all would understand. And I would be there for when my son comes off stage. I would ask someone to please tape me a copy so me and him could sit up and eat popcorn while wathcing the movie so I could tell him how great he did and that "might" maybe make up for a little that I did miss. But 11 is old enough to understand something about work and that it is important for the family well being. And as they say promotions come,promotions go family is for life.
2 people like this
@brckoba (795)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Wow, this is a good one winterose! This is a lose -lose situation. I would chose to go the company function. I am the head of the household and I must be able to provide for them. If this position would allow me to give them a better life, I would do my best to get it. Even though I would disappoint my son, I would do something better like take him to a father-son weekend, only the two of us, that way I can try to prevent the rift. The night before I would try to explain to him why me going to the function is important and that although I couldn't go to his play I would be in spirit and also I would tell him that mommy will record it for me. I'm sure that in the future he will understand.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
You made this sound like such a serious dilemma, yet the answer is so easy and comes to mind immediately for me.
I would go to my sons play. As you indicated he is only 11 years old and at that age he needs his family support. I was in the hospital last year and missed it, that's called life and kids need to grow up to learn these things and it's normal they will face disappointments. As for the job, naturally I want that too but the way I see it is if the job is that high of a position, the boss has offered it to me therefore he will understand the family tie, besides chances are good he doesn't have anyone better to do the job, but at any rate it's a chance I would take. I was looking for a job when I decided to seek this one and I can do it again if I have too. If I qualify for this one I will qualify for another one also. Thank You winterose...
2 people like this
@browneyedgirl (1264)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I was looking for a job when I got this one. I would be at that play.
@jjwatson28 (572)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I would so go to that play. Jobs come and go family does not. God provides away for everything. so i dont sweat the small stuff. Really Its all about family because if you dont live for them why live.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
23 Mar 07
for me, i will definitely put my family first... especially he is my son... i don't care if i don't get the job... i can still look for another job... but i can't look for another son if i lost my son, can i??? so i will say have a chat with your employer and tell them your situation... i hope they can understand your situation... good luck...
1 person likes this
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
Oh boy, that is a toughie! But, i must say, that even though you have the big salary, a brand new car, and so on, if there is a rift between you and your son, then it's not worth it. I would go to my son's play, and lose the high paying position at work. Besides, i wouldn't work for a company that expects its employees to pass work before everything else. I always pass family first. With each other's love and support, we can make it through anything, even though there will be hard times, where the money is low, we'll come out of it, and the most important is that we'll come out of it together, not each our own seperate ways.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
23 Mar 07
This is a hard situation winterose. I have been there and missed a lot of my oldest daughters functions because of a job I had. I regretted missing out on my daughters important things, even though I always made sure a family member was there for her and the function was videotaped. End result was I didn't even stay at the job that was more important than my daughter at the time. That being said, my daughter was always very forgiving, and I always explained to her why the job was so important to the family's well being. I think I'd explain the situation to the powers that be and see if something can't be worked out. maybe make a brief appeaance before or after the childs play. If this job is "the best job you can ever expect to have" they will be understanding. I think it would even show how committed you are to the things that matter and if the powers that be are any sort of decent human beings they will understand.
@NatureBoy (493)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
Well, if i were there, I would choose the important function. Sorry kiddo, this is really important for the family. Make arrangements with the kids friends parents. Record the play, try to make time for it, in between running from place to place. Go to the function with a mission in mind. Do what is required and leave for you son's play. This will show the people that you are a lady capable of handling both work and family. Precise time management and thinking is required to administer this act. Please plan and execute properly.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
This sounds like movies lol.. I have seen such scenes in movies many times. :P
Ultimately, if your son really doesn't understand how important the job is to you, you have to decide. Is it career or family? If people can choose again, they will always say family is more important. So I guess, family is the one you should choose - though when the decision comes to you, work may win.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
again it is not a bout me, i never said anywhere it was about me, it is a hypothetical situation
@samanthapayne (52)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
Children can be allot more receptive if you explain your situation... this child is old enough to understand if you do not take this oppertunity it amy not come around again...explain it in detail why you have to do this maybe tell him that they video record the play and as soon as you get home take the time to sit with him alone and watch it.
1 person likes this
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Go to your son's play. Your relationship with him is far more important than any job. Honestly, you can find another job. It may take awhile, but don't you think that having your son's respect and trust is far more important that meager possesions? i do. Besides, you didn't say you would LOSE your job if you went to your son's play...just that you may not get your promotion. You will still have an income and will have a relationshi[ with your son at the same time. These years in his life are extremely important. You need to show him NOW that you are there for him and you love him, before he gets into his teenaged years and has REAL problems that you know nothing about.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
this did not happen to me, it is about you it is a hypothetical question
