should old people be allowed to get away with being rude?

Honestly? For people in your family, I would go direct. Treat them like you would treat a peer who's rude - zap em right back. For someone like a mother-in-law, I'd go more subtle. Start zinging her, the same way she does you, but as subtly and politely as possible. Then escalate it over time, unless she backs down. That may not be the BEST advice, but it will be satisfying (lol)

If you're old enough to know better than you shouldn't get away with making rude comments to people. My own mother used to make some comments to me a few years ago and one day I just told her to quit it, and she did. If it was my own home I certainly wouldn't tolerate it. Life is too short to put up with cr@p like that, and if someone makes you feel bad about yourself than you've got to do something. But be as tactile and diplomatic about it as you can.

I too have come across this with older family members, especially my in-laws. They really hurt my at times with their comments, so much so that I walked out of their house and vowed never to return. I also vowed that they would never see their first grandchild. This must have gotten to them, as I received an apology and they treated my like royalty ever after. I think we need to take a stand against them, otherwise they will continue to be rude to us.

I hear you. Even our own parents can be rude. Practical upbringing doesn't make up what's inside most of us. I have an aunt who talks bad about people and more older adults I know who thinks they're better than anyone else in figurative speech. No harm to think that they are good. It's the snickering that will cause thorns. We're all tired of giving them excuses. By the time I'm going to say goodbye. It will be goodbye.

No it is not okay to be rude and intolerant of others no matter how old or young you are .My mother was very intolerant of my children and quite rude and nasty to them.They did not retaliate but she lost out on a lot with them as they didnt go out of their way to be nice to her and she found that they really didnt want to have anything to do with her and grew away from her.I asked her if being rude to others made her feel good because it was having a negative affect on her relationship with her grandchildren and no she did not stop.

I just had a discussion this moring at the supermarket with an extremely rude 80 year old "lady"... Old age is a blessing but it's not an excuse to be rude. The older you get the wiser and compassionate you should be. That's how I see it. Otherwise, it's a waste of time!

No, but they all seem to think that they do. At least most of the ones I see. Really I realize you should respect your elders however they should respect you also. It's not right for you to expect others to respect you just for being older. And age doesn't necessarily mean that you are more mature.

Ya know i talked to many of my friends about this all the time..I thinkits just wrong that they feel they have any right to treat anyone like that..especially when they know they are doing it and they say they can do what they want because they are old..THOSE PEOPLE made me very angry because they are being mean because they just want to and think its ok because they are old..so i will say soemthing to them..but those older people that literally just got mean and ornary because of all the heart ache they have been threw with getting old..and just feel mean and cant help it.,.you can tell..and i try to repect them as much as i can..but i may thorw in well ya dont have to be mean about it..lol..

Depending on how old the person is I think some of them could be excused since some people (85 +) have completley lost their mind and don't know what they are doing.

i agree, noone should be allowed to get away with being rude. if that person isnt sick with alzheimers or dementia, you should tell them how you feel when they start to insult you. when you try to talk very honest and polite, i am sure they listen. how can they know they are rude, if noone tells it to them? my mom tried that to me too, but i told her to be nice to me like i am to her. she laughed and told me she didnt realize it was that bad.

i do think that this is a very problematic question old people start to be sanile and more sensitive you will discover that they also get mad about alote of things and more nervous then they were i think they should not say those things but there is nothing really that you can do it is a problematic situation being old and you should understand that..i do not think it is about standing up to the oldies here..there is no war here..you will have to see the situation as it is and not take it so emotianally they are old. you are not.

If someone has a sound mind with no mental illness or other disabilities of that nature factored in, you should treat them as you treat other people, regardless of age. I believe in having respect for my elders, but I believe in having respect for everyone as a default. People can only lose my respect, and being rude is one way to go about it. My opinion? Don't excuse it, be up front and open about it. You can still be diplomatic and think it through before you spout from the mouth however. Draven the Respectful Atheist http://dravenwriter.blogspot.com

Old people shouldn't be allowed to be rude because they come from a far more polite era - so I'm told. Sadly old people are the ones who will own this world in a decade or so. As the baby boomers enter their old age we'll end up paying for their healthy pensions whilst having to contribute towards ours. Sadly as their numbers swell they'll have the voting power to increase their own pension provisions whilst claiming poverty despite having a massive amount of equity locked up in housing (probably more of a UK thing).

I agree...but to a ceratin extent only.The place from where I come from , elders are respected and beleive me a lot. No matter how irritating they may be...how rude they may be...but they are elders...They are the one...who gave us birth and looked after us when we were young and I guess its our time to pay them back...

This is the way it works... If you are an adult and have your own home... you don't have to put up with anyone rudeness... nor does anyone has the right to tell you what to do. In this case... you simply show them the door and ask them not to comeback. However... if you are dependant of them... by living under there roof or borrowing money from them... you are putting yourself in a situation where they can show you the door and tell you that if you don't like it here... you can go and live somewhere else. It is that simple and clear cut. Just because they are your family... does not mean that you have to put up with them.

it's not even just family though is it. there was one week, where several days in a row, the same old woman jumped the queue in front of me. there was one of those gaps between where you wait, and the actual tillpoints. myself and some others, standing where you queue, and she just walked straight up to the till and ignored the people waiting. after this had happened 3 days running, the next time she did it I said to her "excuse me, but the queue starts here" and she started ranting about how young people are so rude, and her generation respected their elders blahblahblah. I pointed out that my generation know how to queue and don't just push to the front. why do some people think being old lets you be rude to people

there is always generation gap between the young and the old. when we have conflicts with them, we just regard it as natural. I think what the old want is to ask us follow their opinions instead of insulting us. if we don't think they are right, we just hold our way. we'd better not be rude to them. we show our respect to them not only because of their old age but also because of what they have done to the family.

No one regardless of age or status should be allowed to be rude. Old people should set example and be role models for such. I once confronted an uncle for being rude. He didn't like the gift I gave him for Christmas and questioned me for being unfair when he saw the gifts I've given the others. For his own peace of mind, I took the gift back and told him this: "being uneducated is not an excuse for rudeness!".

I am sure if you treat them with a little Love they will never be rude to you, they give back what they get, may be thats the reason they behave like this. They are not aware of whats happening in the outside world, make them your friends and try not to trate them like oldies but your friends and I am sure they will also understand

Have to say I agree mostly with the first reply, if you pay your own bills than no you dont have to put up with anyone being rude and say as much. But dont expect people to change just because you point out there rudeness. If someone has had a nasty disposition most of their life than they probly arent going to change now. People rarely change in life and it usually takes a life changing event. The other side of that is why are you so bothered? Obviously this persons opinion matters somewhat or it wouldnt bother you and if doenst matter than why sweat it.