Would You Do This To Your Child?
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
United States
March 23, 2007 2:22pm CST
This happened in a local town close by. I have taken excerps of the article. But you can read the entire article at: http://www.mailtribune.com/archive/2007/0323/local/stories/shady_cove_child_arrest.htm
Would you have handled the situation the same way as a parent or differently? Keep in mind the girl was handcuffed in front of her entire third grade class.
Police Chief Rick Mendenhall wants everyone to know that criminal behavior has tough consequences.
That's why, at the request of parents, he took a third-grade girl at Shady Cove Elementary School out of class in handcuffs and home to her mother for a talk about theft this week.
Mendenhall said the parents, whom he declined to identify to protect the girl's privacy, asked him to "arrest" their daughter after she was caught stealing for a second time.
"The parents are trying to instill responsibility and show consequences," he said. "This was my first request like this, but I would do it for any parent."
On Tuesday, Mendenhall went to a third-grade classroom, handcuffed the girl, whose age Mendenhall didn't have, and took her home in a police car. No charges were filed, he said. He and the girl's mother warned the youngster that if she continued to steal, she really would be arrested and have to face theft charges in the juvenile justice system.
24 people like this
56 responses
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Yes, sadly I would do it. Kids get away with too much these days. This has to be snipped into the bud, before it gets out of hand. I also hope that they child will get some help, to find out why she steals. Great posting, I have given you a + for it. Keep it up and have a great day.
4 people like this
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Thanks Margieanne. I think I would probably do the same. The paper says this is the second time she was caught stealing. It may have been an embarrassment to her, but oh well, if it helps deter her from crime, then all the better.
2 people like this
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
23 Mar 07
its too extreme
I can see how it could make a good impression though
I think parents are the first line people in socializing and training the kids, if they fail to do that effectively, then the cops have to do it. If the cops are getting involved at all in a kids life, the parents did something very wrong.
My nephew had some issues with cops. I think his parents should have and could have prevented it. Just a theory and I don't have details and I don't have kids.
I thin k maybe just a warning that if the cops arrest them and they will be in jail for awhile. Thats a very good deterrant for criminal behavior of any kind.
2 people like this
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
23 Mar 07
The parents though are the ones that requested the police arrest her, and at school, so as to make an impression on her, that if she commits a crime, she will be held accountable. I think in this instance the parents were on top of the situation and did the best they could think of to help their child. Thank you for your thoughts and sorry about your nephew. I hope that it has helped.
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Oh my! This reminds me of the time that my youngest stole a pack of candy from the store in the mall and her older sister came and told me. Steph was too young to know that it was wrong, she only knew that her candy had fllen on the floor and she wanted to replace it. As she was leaving the mall with her father, a police car pulled up to the curb and Steph immediately backed up to the wall. She wasn't going anywhere near that policeman. He just wanted to give her a sticker, but she thought he came to take her to jail. Scared the day lights out the poor child!
I think that the incident you are talking about is a bit harse. I would have taken my child to the manager of the store where the crime happened and I would have asked the manager to explain to the child exactly what would happen in the future and I would have made toe child pay for the property stolen. To embarass the child in front of her entire class is rather strong handed. Tough lesson!
Kids are more advanced than when I was young and kids are must bolder and have higher priced demands. For some kids this just might be the eye-opener that it takes.
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Please pardon my misspellings! I did not check this one before I sent it through.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
27 Mar 07
If you do something like that you had better file charges. It is too extreme to use it simiply as a teaching opportunity.
I would hate to be those parents. Can you imagine the resentment they have triggered in the child? Can you imagine how the trust is TOTALLY GONE where it comes to listening to her parents? I wouldn't be able to sleep thinking about how she might slit my throat in my sleep as the anger and humiliation grew. Her classmates are probably giving her grief over being taken away in cuffs.
I wouldn't be surprised it that has consequences they didn't anticipate!
1 person likes this
@lightlysalted (183)
•
23 Mar 07
It's a difficult one. Not sure I would have done it the same way but I can see that they were attempting to use it as a deterrent to other individuals. These types of "Stunts" do have a habit of backfiring however and some children may see this as a badge of honour. I wonder what would happen to school life if every child who comitted a crime was arrested at school, it could put children off going to school if they know they are likely to be arrested and as a good education is important in keeping people out of trouble then this could excerbate the situation. I agree with other comments that kids can get away with too much but I think it would serve more a deterrent if the child was arrested whilst doing something sociable with friends, as this would be more embarrasing for them
@pangeacat (619)
• United States
23 Mar 07
That's hard to decide.
Faced with the same situation, I would have to say that I would have my daughter arrested, but under different circumstances.
I would have her arrested while she was with her group of friends, but not taken out of school, and handcuffed in the middle of class.
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
23 Mar 07
The school thing was the tough part of this for me as well. But upon thinking about it, maybe it is for the greater good that they did it at school to deter others from stealing. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@tishabest (602)
• Belgium
24 Mar 07
Yes I would absolutely have my child arrested for stealing! Impunity would only make her think that stealing is acceptable and things will only get worse later on. I think that's the main problem of parenting today children are not disciplined and parents then wonder "where did I go wrong!?" DUH you're the parent discipline your child lovingly - I don't believe in spanking and that's a whole other topic. believe me the child will be happy later on in life that you cared enough to set them straight.
1 person likes this
@7nicole1 (1633)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
Well even though I think the parents just meant well I still think its wrong. I once was arrested in high school math class for something I di'nt even do but it was to late the damage was done. I was known as a crook and everything. I think the parents should of waited until their daughter was out of class at least but oh well if that didnt scare her and makes her stop stealing then nothing probably will.
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
24 Mar 07
i think its fine if that is what the parents asked for. every child has to know the facts about theft, and consequences. i think 3rd grade is kind of young for handcuffs, but obviously so is stealing!!! wow, how scary to think a child that young is so naughty, and i hope the parents can keep her under control.
1 person likes this
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I don't have a daughter, but I guess I cannot imagine mine doing it if I had one. However, if I did, I think I would do this. If by third grade she has been caught stealing for the second time, something is wrong. It might just take something like this.
@mskrstin316 (43)
• Philippines
24 Mar 07
no, i would not have handled the situation that way. i would handle it in a different way. i mean, the girl is at a very young age to be disciplined that way and embarassed in front of the whole school and town. i believe the young girl can be disciplined in a different way and also better through a private and responsible way by her parents.
@SweetTrix (1071)
• United States
24 Mar 07
When I was 6 years old my mom wouldn't buy me a pack of gum so I took it. when we got to the car I showed her I got the pack of gum without her. She made me return it and took me to the police station where I had to sit in a cell for 20 minutes. I didn't steal anything again ...well until I was older. So if my child were caught stealing I would probably take him to the police station. I wouldn't have him handcuffed because now days kids think its cool to get in trouble. I would make him sit in the cell and have the officer explain to him why he shouldn't steal.
1 person likes this
@lowyder (282)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
Woow im pretty sure that i would talk to a child about it first and discuss why he/she thisnks they should have to steal i mean its different if you already discused punished and they still contuined but 3rd grade thats only an 8 yr old i bet that child wsas probly not raised by the most intellagent of people but an 8 year old in juvy woow thats not good
No i would never do this to a child
Low
1 person likes this
@darendamejodi (15)
• Philippines
24 Mar 07
It so sad...depressing. My mother can do this to me at school? Where all students saw the scene? If i'm in her shoes, it is very discouraging & depressing..you know that when somebody was handcuffed by the police, we are thinking of something bad happened..and the whole third grade class saw it. Very depressing...there are other ways to discipline a child not that way...not in that place very improper. You put your daughter in shame. Try to talk to her why she did it..you can scold her or not to watch TV if she did it again. Or another way to make her realized that what she did is not good. In that early age, you will moulding your daughter's personality..teach and motivate her..take time to her..play with here. You will know what are her needs, maybe she did it because she want your attention. Maybe...
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
24 Mar 07
No I wouldn't have done it that way although I suppose I can sort of understand where her parents are coming from. I just think though that it lacks a certain amount of compassion doing it that way. I mean - humiliation like that is a hard thing to deal with especially for a child that age. I suspect she will remember it as the years go by but not necessarily for the right reasons. Personally I would have had the police come to the house (or taken her to the police station) and have them give her a good talking to.
1 person likes this
@laurabeth (145)
• United States
23 Mar 07
WOW, I would never dream of doing this to a 3rd grader, that is nuts if you ask me. I don't see how any good can come of pulling a child that young out of class in handcuffs! If we were talking about 7th grade or older I would be of a totally different opinion but at that age I don't think it is the way to go!
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
Hi creative my friend :) Honestly as sad as it is I would do it. Children have to understand that their are consiquences to bad actions. The parents didn't charge the child, but I doubt she will ever do it again!
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
P.S. It does also depends on the parents too though. If it is a case of bad parenting then I don't aggree with it!
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Yep, I would do it. Its not like he took her and locked her up in a real jail! This little kid had already stolen twice. She needed to learn that stealing was not a joke or a game, and that there are serious consequences... and next time the consequences will be even MORE serious! Also, these parents gave their daughter the message that they're not going to be the kind of parents who come and rescue their child every time she does something wrong. Maybe the little girl will remember this a few years down the road if she is tempted to steal again!
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I would never do something so hurtful to a small child..I think having an officer talk to her would be enough...Some of what keeps kids doing right is the fear of being arrested, having cuffs put on,riding in the pd car....Well this child has now done this so won't be dreading it as she has already lived through it...
I had heard this on one of the news stations but thought I heard it wrong...
Maybe it will work but it just isn't something I would be comfortable with..
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I dont have children but I would have told the officer NOT to use handcuffs. I would have asked him just to go in and get her, NO handcuffs, and escort her home in the police cruiser. I know the mom wants her to be scared of getting arrested, but she wants to be careful not to make her afraid of policemen. I think this situation could have been done without the use of handcuffs
