Wives!!!

You should talk to him heart by heart....and say..Hi..I want to take charge in this relationship and I don't want to be controlled by you. I know your bf is a really good person and he will understand....You may wanna help him with the most stressful part of his life though...He's got you to help him at the most

I hate to inform you of this but if he is that way now imagine it worse after your married cause then they think they own you. In my own opinion even if you love him I would second guess at becoming his wife and don't let them say that they will change either because they might till the rings o n and the vows sealed with a kiss. I know you said you are 29 and want to get married, but why not wait a little while longer until you find someone that shares your ideas and not try to dominate them. And that think gestures of kindness is because of love not because it is a way to control. Please rethink this relationship I am sure you are a very beautiful woman and your knight in shining armour is out their waiting for you right now to come to your senses and finally notice him. Otherwise if you marry it may be a life of never being able to do anything without consent from the man you are with. You are not a maid or his mother and shouldn't be replaced as such. So do me and probably alot of people a big favor. Go out and live and bloom and find the one who is waiting for you..Good luck and god bless.

A relationship is an even partnership. He shouldn't expect you to cater to his every whim and not think about doing something special for you. It's time to run while you're still young. If you decide to settle for what he dishes out, then you will be totally unhappy. You deserve better.:)

Hi I am not a married woman but a lot of things about marriage is i know because i see my family here going strong relationship and my sister in law and my other friend wives. But let me tell you this,most husband loves his wife for being good as a cook and caring,lovable. yes but don't be a part as maid,lol...but listen,This partnership is an interweaving of interest,and sacrifices will have to be made for the sake of both parties.if you love him take care him or talk to him in good manner. In a successful marriage ,a partner must not always try to get things his or her own way. just pray always dear.hope you fine:)

he is most probably taking you for granted..make him realise uor importance honey.stop doing what u do for him.not all of them..but do only does things that u must do for him.those things that his spouse neeeds to do for him only.when he misses someone doing these things for him suddenly and he gets helpless..he'll realise your value in his life. he must treat u like his spouse if not his queen..but not as his slave.

Hi I was brought up in a really traditional household where women had women's work & men had mens. Overall though my mother was really a feminist in that she made sure her son knew how to boil water, eat on his own & do his own laundry. My pt? I decided that if that was marriage--I didn't want it! & I avoided it like the plague that I thought it was! And then I met my husband--a man who doesn't want a slave but a partner who meets him 1/2 way & can come the full 100% to make him complete. Trust me though, he can't clean to save his own skin & we used to fight over this non-stop & I had those feelings that maybe I should just clean it now that I'm married but geesh, then I'm back to where I was when I realized that I hate that type of relationship & I would NOT have gotten married if I had realized this was what I had to put up with. So even though I work part-time from home, no less, we hire a housekeeping service to come 1x a month & the rest of the time we have a cleaning schedule. Its nothing fancy but frankly it beats cleaning up both your crap from a long day. I think that if you are going to marry this man--you should seriously consider relationship councelling because it sounds like you are going into a marriage with 2 different agendas. If that is so, chances are he won't clean or accept a cleaning service like mine did! So you better find out now than find out later!

one of a wife's responsibility is to take care of her husband but not to the extent of being a housemaid or servant. taking care of a partner in life does not necessarily mean doing everything that he does. i mean, he has his own hands, why can't he get his shoes off and get his slippers on? taking care of him basically means providing him the affection and love that he needs and always making sure that he gets the proper attention. you can try to cook for him but you should not try to feed him directly. you can give him clothes to wear but you should not try to dress him up. it is as simple as that. when he asks you to do a favor for him in a nice manner, you can always oblige but if he literally commands you to do things for him, that is way out of line. taking care of your husband also means setting up what is right and what is wrong. being a servant is going overboard and you should also know the limitations.

The enlightenment is...Get out now!!!!! You think you can't take it now? How much worse will it be when you are married? How much worse will it be when you are pregnant and he knows you will not leave him? How much worse will it be when you try to stand up for yourself? What type of father would he be to a daughter? You think he will see children as precious? Wrong! He thinks women are servants! And trust me honey, he will get far worse than you can ever imagine. When he leaves for work, have some friends and family come over to get you out in a couple of hours! Do NOT confront him. Do NOT take phone calls from him. Get out! Get out now!!!

Wow I think you should step back and really look at the situation before you take the plung of marrying a man who feels this way. I will tell you it will only get worse unless you show him the light before you say I do. There is nothing wrong with pampering your hubby once in a while if the same is done in return but if you marry a man who thinks you should be his slave your life will never be happy. Many times a man who is donimating can become an abusive man as well. Check his back ground, have you met his parents and how do the behave. Please be careful and know what your getting into. Best wishes

I believe that wives should take care of her husband but not to the point that they will be like their servants. We are both working so we both feel tired already when we reached home. So it think it’s understandable for him if don’t get to serve him that much. We live in a modern world now and we don’t live in the era where it is really required that women should serve their husband. But nowadays, women are treated equally as man so I don’t think their husbands should treat their wife as a servant.

I don't like to give advice telling women to run away from relationships just because there is something about the relationship that I, personally, do not like. BUT your situation is so maddening, it will be hard not to just say RUN! I'll just ask you a few questions and you come to your own conclusions. First, why would any woman allow herself to be demeaned and disrespected in such a way? I don't care if I were hunchbacked, homely, umemployed with my legs sewn on backwards, I would rather be alone than to be treated in such a way. Second, is this how you would want your daughter to be treated? Would you want to see all of her loveliness and intelligence bowing and scraping for some arrogant creep? For that matter, do you plan on raising your son to be this disdainful and unloving towards his woman? Finally, what does this man have over you? Is he the last man in the Phillipines, is he the richest man in the Phillipines, is he blackmailing you? If any of these are true, I still say ... RUN!!! Okay, I promised I wouldn't say that and I won't. You don't need us or HIM telling you what to do. You are a strong, beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman. The sooner you realize and respect yourself for that, the sooner you will expect and receive that from the men in your life. Good luck, dear, I didn't mean to lecture.

Did you try to talk to him? If yes then, one quick suggestion is get out, dump him and tell him where he stands. Maybe his mother did give him a good upbringing. Have stayed with a couple of guys who are totally pampered and really just thank my stars that I am not married to them (luckily dont have to marry any man). I just pray for their wives. Just one more thing, do groom your children and dont pamper them, so that they dont turn into such "devils".

yah ....that is just to much I agree. You should be their for your husband by cooking and cleaning but if your working too....he should clean and cook as well. In the 50's and 60's women did not work so they could be a at home mom and usually the husband braught home a nice amount of money for the family.....if this is not the case ....you may have a problem

Yes ideally it should be a 50-50 relationship. Talk to yr guy and try to make him understand that you have needs too and would like it if he too pampers you as he would like to be pampered. Try n get him to see yr point of view and if he still thinks you need to be subservient to him...chuck him out of your life even if you are in love because such love doesn't last for long anyways n u will find someone at sometime who will love you for loving him..All the best.

boss, your correct, it is normal for the women to take care of their husbands, being a wife and a servant is very different, man should also help her wife to have a good relationship that will last until the end of their lives

To tell you the truth I think it is really not good on the part of your would be to take you for granted. Even I do all the things for my hubby but that is coz I like it and not coz he wants me to do it and NO ONE can force me. I feel that a person who has taken you for granted before marriage, what would he do after marriage. Just think about it and then decide. You deserve a person better than him.

I would run away from this relationship! You should not be a slave. A relationship is not about one person doing everything for the other one. You should have a give and take going on, and it sounds like this guy is not very interested in this. If I were you, I would leave, but that might not be possible for you. At any rate, find a way to get out of the house and do your own thing, whether hanging out with friends or getting a job so he has to learn to fend for himself sometimes!

No offence but I think your boyfriend sounds like a real A**! I think that you should feel so respected and loved by your partner that you would think nothing of doing some nice things for him, and that because he loves and respects you, he should do nice things for you too. I think that you should end this relationship, because if he is commanding you to do things for you and degrading you, where will it stop? I think it will get worse once you become married to him, becaue then he saounds like the type of man who would figure he owns you after you marry him. God Bless you in your decision, and may it work out for the best in your life.

The idea of a wife taking care of her husband is a biblical concept. The idea of a man treating his wife like a servant, is not. The bible says that a woman should submit to her husband as her husband submits to the Lord. The bible also says that a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church (this means he would give his life for her and make every sacrifice known to man for her). So if your boyfriend wants to apply the submission to you, he'd better be ready to hold up his end of the bargain or the marriage will not be pleasing to God (sure, it might please your boyfriend, but that's not the point of marriage). The idea of submission is not so a husband can be demeaning to his wife, it is to promote order and define the roles that God designed marriage. God invented marriage and submission, not your boyfriend. Before you make the commitment to marry him, I suggest that the two of you read I Corinthians 7 together. There are also some great books out there, my husband and I did "Before you say 'I do'" by Norman Wright and Wes Roberts. Its an interactive book for couples to work through prior to marriage and it's from a biblical standpoint. It will cover the whole submission thing and then some. If I were you I would not marry this man without some Christain premarital counseling. Most pastors will offer it for free if you are using their church for the wedding or for a low cost.

As a husband, I feel it is one of the roles of a wife to take care of her husband. BUT, that does not mean he needs or has the right to rule over you like a king. In my marriage, I let my wife run things her way. I mean things like the family business and the decisions in the home. But I am given by her the authority to have the last word. I told my wife when we married "I am not a king" "I will not rule over you." I am from old ways of thinking. I believe in the old term meet in the middle. My wife might help me get dressed from time to time, but she does this because she wants to. NOT because she has to. If your boyfriend gets too demanding, you are better off without him