Do you forgive and forget ?

It is very difficult to forgive and forget. My motto used to be 'forgive and forget but first get even'. I don't forgive very easily but I do tend to forget with time. However, if the same thing happens again, I will remember with a vengeance. It's just my way of life and I just can't help myself.

I just posted this on My Lot it is long but it answers your question http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/915217.aspx and Part 2 http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/915228.aspx

I always forgive and try to forget..that's the best and most honest answer I can give you;)+

Hey girl I will forgive but I dont forget. I wish I could forget. I used to not forgive either but I too have learned you must forgive in this crazy world of ours.

Well I am a stubborn Taurus person, and frankly - no - I don't! Like you, I might say I have forgiven (to keep the peace, or especially in a work environemnt where you have to deal with people all the time quite closely), but I NEVER forget! I bear grudges quie badly if I'm honest - it is probably my biggestvice - well my partner says it is anyway -he is always telling me to "move on", nut I find it very hard. If someone has hurt me, I can never trust them totally again.

Yes, it is easy for me to forgive as well as forgetting. Everyone makes mistakes and if they are recognized and the person apologizes truthfully why not forgive? And when we forgive, usually the idea is to forget.. who wants to be forgiven just to have the thing we were forgiven for hanging over our heads for the rest of our lives? And is that really forgiving? That said, some things are harder to forget than others of course. Some are even better to keep in mind just for our own protection. But it's not the best, sometimes failing to forget can make life more complicated , looking for the same mistake over and over again, never feeling completely well about it..... THere are exceptions but as a rule, if you forgive, it's better to forget as well.

i am not one of the "forgive and forget" kind of person. i do forgive but i try not to forget. it's not that i embed in me the grievances and the pain... but i bring along the learnings i got from that moment when someone did me wrong. forgiving is easy but forgetting isn't. and learning from it makes us a stronger and a more clever person in the long run.

Hands up, I don't I am terrible for not forgiving, I do bear grudges and I blame it on me being totally stubborn! I will try to give people the benefit of the doubt but if someone has really wronged me, like betrayed my trust, or really hurt or upset me then the barricades go up and I refuse to back down. Terrible I know I have even let one grudge go to someones grave with them.

It is depending on what it is Most of the time I forgive and forget but there are cases where I have forgiven but not forgotten and there are a couple of cases where I can not forgive

No! I know I shouldn't..but sometime it is just too hard to forget. And every time I feel like I'm going to a similar situation I got alarmed. Well I never got over reacted by any way but it make me afraid to move on..in any subject. I guess only time will tell how to forget.

My husband has told me that I have a "very long memory"... and he's right. I will forgive most things (at least with enough time to put some distance between myself and whatever it was that was done to me) but, believe me, I never forget. I try to be a respectful person, I think of others' feelings and I deliberately try never to intentionally hurt or wrong someone, no matter how angry I might be. When any of those things are done to me, I tell myself that (in most cases), it wasn't done on purpose... but, let's face it, many times it IS done with intent. I won't forget and it definitely shapes any further contact I have with the person(s) involved.

I usually forgive and forget pretty easily but if it's something really bad....I will forgive someone but it is very hard to forget it when it's something that really really hurt me bad and caused me great pain. This hasn't happened to me often but it has a couple of times and one just recently. The other one I have long forgave the person but I have never forgotten what she did to me. It doesn't hurt anymore because it's been a long time. The more recent, it still hurts to even think about it but I can see this person and treat her as if nothing has happened but I haven't forgotten. Some people say if you don't forget you haven't forgiven but I don't beleive that. Our memories are hard to erase. I have even forgiven someone even when they have never asked my forgiveness because I beleive that's what the Lord would want me to do. Very good discussion!

I always try and forgive as I think by not forgiving someone we are more likely to cause hurt to ourselves than the individual who hurt us. Constantly going over things in our minds and holding a grudge is very tiring and the person who we are holding the grudge against doesn't even know about it, so in my eyes it is always better to try and forgive. I've got to admit though, that while I can forgive someone, I find it very hard to forget what they have done.

It's taken me a long tome to learn to let things go sometimes. I think it takes a lot more energy to stay mad a someone and hold a grudge than it does to forgive them. But, like you I don't forget. It helps mebe more cautious so I don't end up in a similiar situation in the future.

Forgiving is a choice we make. Forgetting takes time. Together they are tools for long lasting relationships. We need alot more forgiveness in this worl if we are to make it a better place. We can learn and it is a positive thing and something I would hope people would wish for. Congratulations on learning to forgive.

I too forgive, but find it hard to forget. I don't forget most of the time because if something becomes a pattern, I feel it needs to be dealt with rather than swept under the carpet. As a Christian, I believe we are called to forgive, but since I'm still human I think it's difficult to do sometimes!

Yes I have found a way to forgive. But I don't ever forget. Sometimes I wish it were the other way around. I have some very painful memories that I have forgiven people for. I just wish I could forget about some of them as they are really depressing. I always try to make sense of some of them but it just doesn't happen.

For me, it really depends on the serverity of the issue. I can forgive, but still at my age I won't forget. I think about what was done wrong to me and deep down, I feel if they did this to me once, it's very possible they can do it again. I'm one for always having my guards up, depending on how delicate a situation is. It's hard to just let go, knowing that possibility it could very well happen again.

I do find it hard to forgive and forget but as I've got older I've come to realise that if I don't forgive it makes me feel bad inside and it isn't good for me. It is much better to try and get over it and move on with your life rather than dwelling on things.

I forgive, because I know forgiveness isnt a sign of accepting what they did. Forgiveness is more for yourself than them. Harbouring resentment and grudes is not healthy,. You cant forget though, because you must look out for yourself. I have learned to not hold it against them, but just remember and watch out for similar behavior.